The boy was not my friend. He was not my brother, nor my rebel lover. He was my ally, my smart-alack partner. I wasn't supposed to scream his name when the spear impaled his body. But, God, could you blame me? The spear slices through his body like butter, and the hopeless optimism he always kept in the face of danger was gone in a flash.
I glance back to the pair of hunters hiding in the bushes. They're wide eyed and gripping their weapons. I'm tempted to scream for help again, but I'm being lifted, lifted up off my feet, and my cry for help is cut off by my own shriek of surprise. I notice Darryl being lifted to, by the spear, to a different opening in the hovercraft. Goodness, I need to stop screaming. I'll bet the whole country of Panem can hear me. I'm almost at the entrance to hovercraft. My mind instantly shifts to what must be done next. I tear open my messenger's bag and blindly fumble for my pills, while tipping over in the vast net. Good God, where are they? Could they have-no-I glance down at the disappearing ground and wonder if they could have dropped out of the miniscule hole in my bag.
My pills- my suicide pills- my only chance of escape. I nearly jump out of my skin as I'm hoisted up by both arms out of the net and into the hovercraft. I'm screaming like a wild thing and flailing my legs. I feel one of them make contact with a Peacekeeper trying to detain me and he stumbles back.
Oh, God, why did Darryl have to have the gun? Hidden Stairs was having a shortage of artillery, so Darryl and I were only given one gun to share. Oh, don't worry babe, I'll do all the shooting around here. Why had I let him take the gun for the day? I should've never trusted him- but- he's dead.
I'm still flailing and screaming and making myself go heavy. The men retraining me are shouting for something, but I can't hear it over my screams. I go to bite the arm of the Peacekeeper who's gripping my shoulder when something sharp jams into my arm. Suddenly, everything slows down. I think I'm still screaming, but I don't know. I'm trying to keep track of reality, but even that is giving me a headache. I don't think I'm flailing anymore. I struggle to keep my eyes open, but all I can see is vivid outlines as the Peacekeepers lower me. Oh my God- I'm falling through the floor, through the hovercraft, through the forest- but I'm not bothered by it.
My head softly touches the floor, and I can faintly feel the Peacekeepers' grip on me release. It becomes easier to keep my eyes open, but I can't feel the rest of my body. Reality slowly sinks back in. I can hear voices over me, but I can't decipher what they're saying. My mind switches from tranquility to panic. My thoughts are the only things I can feel. Am I paralyzed? Am I dying? I hoped I was dying. Honestly, I would've rather been Darryl than me right now. I can make out a few words from the Peacekeepers above me- "interrogation", "water", "hour or so", "boy". I want to scream, but I can't feel my lips. That's when I hear another sound from the Peacekeepers- "vox". Oh God, oh my God help me- I'm not dying, I'm not floating- everything is making sense. A peacekeeper squats down next to me and cocks his head so my unblinking eyes are making contact with his shield goggles. He gives me a toothy grin- "hope you can swim, Avox."