It was just Carlisle, Esme, and I in the house. Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmet were double dating, Renesmee and Bella were hunting. Carlisle and Esme were downstairs playing a game of chess. I would have gone with Bella and Renesmee, and I regretted that I didn't, but I wasn't thirsty. And I was sorting through my CD's deciding which ones to take to the cabin.
I found Comatose, by Skillet and decided to play it. It's one of the CD's I got as a gift, but hadn't had a chance to listen to yet. I decided I might as well now.
My CD player was on shuffle so the fist song that started playing was Whispers in the Dark. Immediately Carlisle's and Esme's trains of thought froze on the words "our song" with a bang. Almost the same way a regular train would stop if I were to stand in the middle of it's tracks, and not move an inch if it hit me. Kinda like Hancock.
Then I was hit by so many memories coming from all three of our heads that I was swept along for the ride, unable to give Carlisle and Esme the decency of trying very hard not to listen. I had forgotten that this was their song.
Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses
I got a bunch of muddy memories from when Esme was human. Esme, holding the baby that was born dead. No matter what the doctor's told her, she knew it was her fault. Everything was her fault. Her husband cheating on her, the death of the child, the subsequent divorce. She decided to kill herself, she jumped off the cliff, but because she had a fear of heights, she jumped off the shorter one. She was awake when the paramedics came to get her. The minute she saw the blond doctor she knew she had made a mistake, a terrible mistake. She blacked out.
Despite the lies that you're making
Your love is mine for the taking
My love is just waiting
To turn your tears to roses
I got flashes of Carlisle's frantic ambulance ride. A unknown woman had thrown herself over a cliff. The ambulance's siren was going off and they were taking three-G turns. Houses flashed past and soon they were at the base of the cliff. They could see the woman, sprawled upon the rocks, bloodied and moaning. The jump had not been high enough to kill her immediately. He looked at her, and couldn't believe what he saw. The most beautiful woman in the world. All he could think was not her. It took one look, and he loved her so much it hurt. He had to save her.
They loaded her into the ambulance, but it was apparent that she was not going to live. She was too broken. Carlisle knew of only one way to save her, he only hoped they got to the morgue in time for him to be able to bite her. Her life blood was draining fast. He decided to do something dangerous.
Moving at the speed only vampires possessed, he bit her. In the arms, legs, and neck. Seven times before the driver could see. Pulling away from the scent and taste of her blood was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Much harder than when he did it for me.
They pulled into the morgue. By then Carlisle's shift was over and he ran her straight home. He placed her on the couch, void of another place to put her.
I will be the one that's gonna hold you
I will be the one that you run to
My love is a burning,
consuming fire
Esme became conscious at one point. All she could feel was the fire in her whole body. She screamed from the pain, over and over, but she did not thrash, she couldn't move. She blacked out several more times. Each time she woke up she felt so alone. Remembering the Doctor, remembering her child. Neither could ever love her. The child because he was dead, the doctor because he was so perfect he must have a wife.
The pain and heat was intense, all over her body, except in one hand. That one hand still hurt, but there was no fire. It felt almost as cold as ice. She wanted the ice all over her body, to diminish the flame as much as possible. She thought she was in hell. She thought she deserved it.
I remembered that day. I told Carlisle that she wanted the ice all over her body. He immediately got up on the couch and held her as tight as he could without hurting her further. But he presently began to warm up. We traded off in keeping her cool, although he never left her side.
No you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark
I told him of her remembrances. The child that she lost. The loneliness she felt. It wasn't long before I wished I hadn't. He kept talking to her, wouldn't stop. I love you… you're not alone… I'll be by your side forever. I never understood his line of thought until I met Bella. But until then all I could do was listen to him frantically try to sooth her through her screaming.
No you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
You know I'm never far
Hear my whispers in the dark
Esme was aware there was some one out there, talking to her. She could not hear the person through her own screaming. She tried to quiet herself so she could hear the voice that went to the melodious tones that she could just barely make out, but the pain was too much. She couldn't even open her eyes to see who the voice belonged to.
Whispers in the dark
I told him it was working. She could tell someone was talking to her. He started to talk louder. He was so careful with her. Then we heard the sounds of her bones healing. They weren't broken anymore. He decided then was a good time to clean her up. He washed the dried blood off of her body, washed her hair, and put her in new clothes. Talking to her the entire time, telling her what he was doing. He put her in dark red, the color of roses. The color matched her well.
You feel so lonely and ragged
You lay here broken and naked
My love is just waiting
To clothe you in crimson roses
Esme remembered the day she woke up very well. The senses besieged her. Attacked her from all sides. She smelt two vampires very near her and leapt up. She ran from the house using the quickest escape route possible, running through the glass instead of using the door, using her speed to put miles of distance between the threats and herself. She was so thirsty. She smelt all the animals in the woods that surrounded the house, where we lived in Alaska at the time, but ignored them, looking for humans. Presently she came upon a house of humans. She couldn't stop herself. The child was the first to go down, left alone in the backyard to play without supervision. The mother was next as she called for dinner. Then Esme went in after the father.
I will be the one that's gonna find you
I will be the one that's gonna guide you
My love is a burning, consuming fire
Carlisle found her, sobbing in the backyard over the child she had killed without thinking. He drew her to him, rocking her gently. All she could do was ask "why". "Why did I just do that? What have I become?"
"You threw yourself over a cliff. You were on the brink of death. I couldn't let that happen. I changed you into a vampire. It's vampire nature to drink the blood of humans. What you did was normal."
"I killed a family, that's normal? Am I doomed to this for the rest of my life? The guilt. Why didn't you just let me die?"
"Because there's another way. Animal blood, while not as appetizing as human blood, works just as well. You don't need to kill humans to live."
"Is it true?"
"Come with me, I'll show you."
No you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark
They were at a pond. "Look into the water, what do you see?"
"Me, I think. But I'm so pale. And my eyes, they're red!"
"Blood red, it comes from drinking the blood of humans. Now look at my eyes, what do you see?"
She had to fight past the shock of how beautiful he looked to be able to talk. "They're, gold, a dark gold, why?" They were inches apart and her breath washed over him every time she talked.
"It's the animal blood. It dilutes your eye color to a light gold. But my eyes are darker because I haven't eaten in a while. They turn black when you're at your thirstiest. I have to go hunting. The human blood on your breath is driving me crazy." he said, standing up.
"Will you teach me how to hunt animals?" She asked him.
No you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
You know I'm never far
Hear my whispers in the dark
"Close your eyes." He said. "What to you smell?"
"I smell, blood. But it's not human blood."
"What do you hear?"
"Heart beats. Many different sets."
"Is there any particular smell that pulls you more than the rest?"
"One, but it's not human."
"Then that's the one you're after."
"It's no where near as appetizing as the humans." She said pouting, her eyes sliding open.
"I thought you didn't want to kill any more humans?" He raised an eyebrow.
"I don't."
"Then you'll have to get used to that scent. It's the only way." She nodded. "Now go get it. Hunt the scent that pulls to you most, yet is not human."
She took off after it, him following not too close behind her. He stayed hidden while she drank the blood of her proffered animal, the deer. All of a sudden she stood up. "Carlisle, where are you? Where did you go? Don't leave me here!"
"I was never far from you. I'm right here." He stepped out of the woods. She sighed in relief.
"How do we get home?"
"Your scent left a trail. Follow it back. You're going to have to learn how."
"I don't want to go back to that house."
"I'll take you to the trail a few miles south of the house, then you can follow it back." He turned to go.
No you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
I'll light the night with stars
Hear my whispers in the dark
"Don't leave me here. I don't like being alone." She straightened up, he reached out to cup her cheek
"Of course not, you're coming with me! I'll never be far from you. I promise you, you will always know I love you." He said leaning closer.
"I don't know why but I love you too." She said, closing with a heated vampire kiss.
No you'll never be alone
When darkness comes
You know I'm never far
Hear my whispers in the dark
They never made it back to the house that night. I was mortified at having to watch the vampires I have come to think of as parents making love. It wasn't nothing I hadn't seen before in any of my family's minds because I don't have a choice in the matter, my gift being what it is, but I was still mortified. Then I realized that all of a sudden the scenery wasn't the same, although the act was. I sprang up and ran through the second floor of the house, barely pausing to open the doors of the balcony and leaped over the railing. I ran as fast as my legs could ever possibly carry me into the dark night. As I left I concentrated on the music as much as I could, although it wasn't much help since the song was almost over.
Whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark
Whispers in the dark