Author's Note: If you're reading Life As We Knew It, this section will appear in year five.

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(Remus Lupin)

My. Life. Is. Over. It was a waste; all of it. Why did I even bother learning all this stuff? I'll never get to use it. I'll never get a job. My life is ruined. … It was always ruined, idiot. A darker voice added to his pained sorrows. It was ruined when I was four. I was just too stupid to accept it. …Now I've gone and let myself think I had a chance… I'm such a pathetic idiot. I should have known. I should have known.

"Mo- Remus?" Sirius. Not again.

"Go away." His voice came out bitter and resentful but he couldn't help it. Sirius didn't speak again, but Remus could still sense him nearby.

Struggling to maintain his temper, which was riding closer than ever to the surface since the news, Remus turned his head around to see Sirius sanding and leaning casually against the wall, arms and ankles folded elegantly. He was staring at him with one of those unreadable expressions of his.

"I said to go away" Remus repeated heatedly, turning back around in the desk chair to face the front of the empty classroom. Sirius stayed quiet. It was infuriating. Remus couldn't stand to have anyone – not even Sirius – with him right now. He was suffering, and dammit he needed to wallow in his misery alone. He tried for a good 50 seconds to hold his building rage inside; he couldn't keep his words in any longer than that.

Remus spun back around in the desk chair to glare at Sirius.

"Go away, you ass! I don't want you here! I don't want your company! Just leave me alone!" As the words left him, some of his anger ebbed away too; it felt good. He was still so livid…at Sirius for not leaving him be, at his father for thinking so little of him, at his mother for filling his childish mind with hopes of a bright future when her husband had so clearly told her better, at both of them for not preparing him for this kind of agonizing gut-wrenching future-killing blow.

Sirius hadn't flinched, or even blinked when he'd turned on him and yelled. He was watching Remus now, still completely passive and calm. How dare he sit there and stare at me. How dare he look so calm and unaffected as my entire life just went up in flames. Remus rose from his chair and stalked over to Sirius. Sirius looked slightly inquisitive, but he didn't move or speak.

"The castle isn't big enough for you, Sirius?" Remus growled. "You just have to stand here and watch the show? Come to watch me …" but he couldn't get the words out; they were too painful and they got caught up in his throat. So instead, he shoved Sirius very hard with both hands. Sirius let his arms fall to his sides as he let Remus push him roughly at the wall again. He didn't even look angry.

Push me back, or something. …Fuck. It didn't seem right to push Sirius. Sirius was charismatic, and smart, and confident, and silly, and it just didn't feel right to subject him to such things. No one pushes Sirius, not even the marauders. Look at me; acting like the monster that I am. Remus stepped back from his friend.

"I'm sorry. Just go, will you?" His tone still emanated from how angry he was at everyone and everything.

"It's alright, Remus." Sirius' voice came out quite calm. "I understand. Let it out. It'll help you feel better." But that was too much; how could Sirius possibly even begin to think he could understand what Remus was going through?

"You arrogant sod" Remus muttered. "Nobody could understand how this feels right now."

"That's not true, Moony. You feel hated…worthless…like your life was a waste…like your life and your future were supposed to be something better than what you got dealt. I get-"

"Are you honestly comparing your life with mine right now?!" Remus hollered, cutting him off, and this time Sirius did flinch in surprise. The very thought of the comparison was enough to set his whole body shaking with fury. "Sirius Black this is a whole new level of egotism, even for you!"

Remus was shouting, mere feet from Sirius, but he couldn't stop himself as the words came pouring out. He'd been holding these thoughts inside for days – ever since his friends had tried to console him and he had wanted to seem appreciative. But, he couldn't keep them in any longer.

"You're a wizard! You're the fucking heir to the biggest fucking mountain of gold in Britain! So you hate your family! So bloody what, Sirius?! Because everybody else loves you! Everybody in this fucking school! Every professor! Every girl you set eyes on! Everybody you will ever meet with half a brain is going to want to be friends with you!

"I'm sorry about your parents, I really am, but that is not the same as this, you fucking narcissist! Some bigoted pricks hate you?! You could do a hell of a lot worse! The whole world hates me! Literally! All of society thinks I am no better than an animal! They don't think I'm worth the space of a jail cell in Askaban!" Hot angry tears flooded Remus' eyes and began to run down his face as he hollered, but he didn't stop.

"Don't you fucking get it?! Outside of your family and your house, everything you want in life is as good as yours! And I'm not jealous of you, Sirius, I'm not! I'm happy you have those things. But don't bloody stand here and think for one second that your life is anything like mine!

"I have lived my entire life having to lie to everyone about what I am! I've had to lie, and put others in danger just to be able to come to school …I've had to become someone who I never wanted to be, just for a shot at what everyone else takes for granted! And for what?! So that now I can go announce my condition to the world as soon as I graduate?! So I can sign myself up as being poor and unemployed and miserable for the rest of my life! Happy graduation to me!

"So don't you fucking dare tell me that you understand! That you get it! Because you don't! You can't! No one can! My life is over, Sirius! My life! Not yours!"

Remus stopped yelling. He was standing, fuming. That felt good. It felt like a weight had been lifted off him. It had left a hole – a gaping hole of despair regarding his bleak future, but at least he felt a little less angry. Sirius was staring at him in silent shock. Remus was sure that no one had ever seen him that angry; he had never been so angry before in his life. It was taking Sirius a moment to recover from this newfound side of Remus. At last, he spoke, his voice coming out cautious. Remus could tell that Sirius didn't want to set him off yelling again.

"You're right" Sirius said gently. "I can't understand what that's like. I'm sorry I said that. I…I was being stupid."

Remus couldn't control his emotions; Sirius' words were making him cry even more. My life is over. He understands it now too. There's no denying it. My life is over.

"Remus…" Sirius pleaded, putting a hand on his shaking shoulder. "Come on, mate. Don't cry. It won't help anything."

"I'm so stupid" Remus blurted out, covering his face with his hands. "I should have known I'd never … I never had a chance. …I just wish I'd have known."

"Remus, shh, stop. Let's sit down. I've got to tell you something." Remus allowed himself to be led back over to one of the desks. Sirius pulled out a chair for him and gently pushed him down into it. Then he turned his own chair and sat in it backward to face Remus. "Calm it down, mate. You're okay."

Remus took another minute to calm down, but he managed it. He was no longer crying, though he felt he could begin again at any moment. What did it matter if he lost all his dignity now? It was all going to be taken away after graduation anyway.

"Firstly, these new laws are beyond revolting, I agree. But they will change. They will. This isn't forever; for all we know there'll be new decrees by the time you graduate. Secondly, you are never going to be poor and miserable. In case you didn't notice, James and I are getting more money handed to us than we could ever possibly spend. D'you really think we'd let you live on the street?"

"But-"

"Shh, don't answer that. You would." Sirius clucked his tongue at him with a small shake of his head. "The answer is 'no', we wouldn't. I'm planning on getting a flat when I graduate. That's what my father did, so I think my parents will be fine with it. You can live with me. I know you don't want to go back home either."

"I don't want-"

"Besides, my family runs enough offices at the ministry, and the Potter's have enough businesses on the side, that getting you a job is going to be sickeningly unfairly easy. Thirdly, -"

"Sirius you can stop –." You don't have to give me things. I don't want charity.

"Hush, Remus. Thirdly, …" Sirius paused and gave a sigh. "…I wasn't going to tell you this. I wanted to wait until there was something more to tell." That peaked Remus' interest a bit more, and he looked up at his friend. "Don't get all weird about it, alright?"

"About what, Sirius?"

Sirius bit his bottom lip.

"I know you said you and your parents tried everything to try and help you or cure you…" Oh no. Where is he going with this? "But I did a lot of research and I found this group of healers that are doing research out in Egypt with wolfsbane and I think they are really close…why are you shaking your head?"

"Sir, I've tried everything. I-I don't want to try any more treatments."

"No, I know that, Remus. But what I'm saying is that I think they are close to developing a potion with the wolfsbane that will help. And if there was a potion that could help werewolves, well then maybe society would think differently. I…well I've been in correspondence with them for a while now. I did a lot of research before I chose, and they seem like they're really on to something good."

"What do you mean before you chose?" To Remus' surprise, Sirius actually looked nervous.

"I've been funding a lot of their research." Remus' mouth dropped open. You've been what?! How!? "Not all of it" Sirius added hurriedly. "It's expensive, that kind of research."

"Sirius" Remus said, shaking his head a little in disbelief. "What do you mean? How? Why?"

"Why?" Sirius retorted in equal disbelief. "For you, of course. As for how, I've been sending my allowance to them by owl. I've been…well, I've been sending it since early third year."

What?! Remus didn't know what to say. He was beyond moved by Sirius' efforts. Yet, he had little confidence that the money was being well spent; he doubted the researchers would find anything to help. I'm cursed.

"Sirius, that's… I don't even know…I appreciate it, I really do." Sirius only shook his head slightly.

"Shh. I'm not looking for any of that. I just wanted to tell you so that you know that just because things look bad now, that doesn't mean they're going to stay that way. And all of society does not hate werewolves. There are a ton of research groups trying to come up with things to help them. Just because that's all you've known so far, doesn't meant that that's how it's going to be forever. I promise. I'm going to do everything I can.

"It's like you …er…said, I'm going to get a lot of money handed over to me one day. I was thinking…'Sirius', I said to myself"" Sirius half-joked, "'Handsome devil, you're going to be very rich. But, all the gold in Gringotts isn't enough to put up with my mother's bullshit' I said. But, then I thought about what I could do with it…what I could really do with it. I wouldn't waste it on stupid shit. I'd use it for something important instead of letting it waste down in a volt somewhere.

"Remus, when I inherit, I'm going to make a hospital for everyone that St. Mungo's is too prejudiced to let in. Werewolves especially. And if I have to fund the entire damn place myself, I'll do it. And that, Remus, is worth putting up with all their shit for. One day I'm going to help people. So…as you can now see…these stupid little laws don't really mean anything worth hating yourself over, mate.

"You're going to be far too busy helping me run the hospital and teaching all the little baby werewolves not to hurt anyone. That's what your post-graduation future really looks like. And then the researchers will come out with a way to make things better for werewolves, and then society's views will change, and our hospital won't even be needed anymore, so maybe we'll sell it, and then I'll never work another day in my life, but I know you, so maybe you'll open a bookshop or a library or something like that. That's you're future, mate. You're not alone in this. So, no more sitting alone in empty classrooms or dreading graduation. Get back to studying for your O.W.L.'s, because I only want the best working with my patients."

Remus let out a choked laugh.

"That sounds very…idealistic."

Sirius gave a one-shouldered shrug.

"I tell it like it is." Remus laughed for real at that.

"Last week you said you wanted to be an auror."

"I can be an auror slash hospital benefactor."

"The week before that you wanted to be a tomb raider in Egypt for Gringotts."

"Who wouldn't want to do that? But I'm past it."

"Before that, you wanted to be a muggle mechanic."

"Not really though. I meant a wizard muggle mechanic. Specialty vehicles for wizards made from muggle automobiles. It's illegal though; I checked. So that'll just have to be on the side."

"And before that a rock and roll star."

"Okay, Moony, you've made your bloody point. But, I mean it. You're not alone in this."