I don't own or have any rights to BtVS or anything of the sort. Tragically. I will not benefit from this story in anyway other than my own satisfaction.
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"I can't do this anymore Slayer." Spike growled slamming his fist into a nearby tombstone, making Buffy flinch. "I said I'd never leave you and I meant it, I'll always be here when you need me. But this, between us, I can't play the sodding best buddy anymore, not when I crave so much more! I can't go half way, it's all or nothing. We're so close to having something. Damn it Buffy. If you just let me in ..." he trailed off down to a whisper.
After a moment he looked up into her eyes, bright with unshed tears. Softly but confidently he continued. "I love you Buffy, you know I do and you know I'll always be here if you need me but until then ... just stay away from me, yeah?"
Buffy watched as the little twinkle of hope that always lit his eyes burned out to be replaced by painful resignation. She quickly brushed a tear from her cheek and whispered "I'm sorry Spike, I ..." he swallowed hard and nodded glancing away.
When he turned back a second later his entire persona had transformed into that of a hopeless kicked puppy. "Right. See ya' round Slayer." He heard her burst into tears as he retreated into the night and he ached to pull her into his arms and comfort her, but he knew if he did then the cycle would never be broken. He was love's bitch but there was only so much his dead heart could take and he had reached the breaking point.
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Buffy lay staring at the wall, listening to the scream of her alarm clock but blocking it out. Finally Dawn stomped into the room and slammed her hand down on it. "I'm up!" She half shrieked and stomped out again to get ready for school.
Buffy sighed deeply and with an effort pulled herself out of bed. 'I can do this. Just get up, get dressed, make Dawn breakfast, and see her off to school. Come on Slayer; pull yourself together, just for an hour.' She frowned deeply at how she had referred to herself like Spike did as she finally got herself moving.
After pulling on dark wash boot cut jeans and a dark red silk tank top she finally made her way downstairs. "Hurry up Dawn" she yelled up the stairs when she noticed the time. Dawn finally plopped down at the table to a bowl of oatmeal, toast and juice and rolled her eyes.
It was the same thing every morning. She loved her sister, she really did, but one more bite of the mushy luke warm oats would kill her. "Buffy will you please go shopping today? I'm begging you, an egg, a bagel, a pop tart, anything but oatmeal." She whined pushing her spoon around the bowl, not even finding the will power to take a single bite.
Sighing at the thought of a trip to the store, Buffy responded. "Ok Dawnie, I'll go. Make a list." The teen girl practically squealed as she ran to her backpack to get a piece of paper and a pen. Buffy sighed deeply again, leaning her head against her forearms, resting on the island.
Buffy knew they didn't have the money to buy anything right now but she couldn't bear to tell her little sister that. "Thanks Buff, I gotta' go, see you later." Dawn called throwing the list on the table and rushing out the door. Buffy sat down in the seat her sister had vacated and looked at the food with slight distain as she pushed it away.
Picking up the list her chest squeezed as she read it. Milk, juice, apples, oranges, bread, cheese, sandwich meat, chips, frozen waffles, pop tarts, cereal ... the list went on. To anyone with money the list would have been completely normally but to Buffy it looked as impossible as climbing Everest.
With reluctant fingers she dialed the number Giles had given her at the Council after getting no answer at his apartment, but the women who answered said he was away and would not be back for several days. Buffy had already put off calling him for well over a week and knew that if she didn't get money within the next day the Summers women would be in trouble.
As if on cue all the power in the house died. Buffy burst out into sobs covering her face with her hands. The grief over her mother's death, her own death and resurrection, the stress of being Dawn's guardian and dealing with social services and all their hoops, her hopelessness over the future, all came bursting out in wave after wave of salty drops of pain.
20 minutes later, with shaking fingers she held her cell phone tightly. There was no other choice left, she couldn't let Dawn know that they were beyond broke and she couldn't let social services find out that she couldn't afford to feed her sister or keep a roof over her head.
It had been 3 and a half weeks since that night in the graveyard but now she had no other option. Holding her breath she pushed speed dial 3 and waited. A sleepy hello greeted her and the tears started anew. "Spike" she whispered "I need your help."
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The concern in his voice had been heart breaking as he was suddenly fully awake, questioning her about her wellbeing and Dawn's, thinking that if Buffy had called him for help then someone must be dying. When she told him that they were fine he told her he would stop by so they could talk.
Buffy had run around the living room and kitchen closing the curtains and left the front door ajar for him, knowing he would appreciate the gesture. He arrived an hour later under a smoking blanket and when he was satisfied that he was only singed in a few places but there were no flames he finally turned to Buffy.
Her eyes were red and puffy and she looked completely miserable. Silently he opened his arms and she rushed to him hugging him tightly. "Oh god Spike, it's so bad." She cried into his chest as he just held her.
When she was finally calm they went into the kitchen, Buffy brought two cups of hot chocolate to the table and sat down pulling her knees up to her chest. Then she explained everything.
Telling him about the groceries and the power being turned off, the notices from the garbage company, the phone company and the water company, as well as the late payment notices she had received on the mortgage and how the last letter had suggested that foreclosure was soon to follow.
"Xander and Willow don't have any money to lend me and I can't get a hold of Giles. I just don't know what to do." She whispered as more tears stung her already sore eyes. "Why didn't you come to me sooner?" He asked, knowing he shouldn't. She looked down into the cold cup and responded quietly. "I couldn't, I was too proud to ask you for help. Especially after how things went the last time we saw each other,"
Shaking her head she looked up at him again. "But I don't have a choice anymore. This house is almost the last thing I have of my mother's and I can't let them take Dawnie away." Spike didn't think is dead heart could ache anymore but as she confessed that she only called him because she needed to use him, again, he could feel another sliver die.
"I told you before, I can get you money. I'll take care of it." Buffy didn't know what to say; even when he hated her for hurting him he still stood by her and offered to do what he could. "Thank you," she said reaching out and squeezing his hand that lay on the table. "Thank you." She repeated looking deeply into his eyes, trying to show him what those words fell short of conveying.
He swallowed and pulled his hand away breaking eye contact; he could smell her fresh tears at the movement and wanted to shed a few himself. "Don't mention it." He mumbled. "Look Slayer, take this and run off to the store, spend as much as you need, just get whatever you want." He said giving her a handful of bills.
These were crisp new 20 dollar bills, not the kind of thing that was passed around a demon poker game and she wondered briefly where it came from. But ignorance was bliss and she couldn't afford a moral obligation to turn it down if he had come by it in some unsavory way. So she didn't ask where it came from, just took it and slid it into her purse.
"Spike, I, I don't know how to thank you. You know I'm not very good with words but 'Thank you' just doesn't seem to cover it." She said wishing he would look up at her, smile, something to help pass the awkwardness that she felt in the air. "You don't need to thank me. I don't Dawn to go anywhere either."
Her heart stung at his words and seemingly cavalier dismissal of her. She couldn't help but notice that he hadn't used a single pet name or even her real name throughout the whole conversation and she wondered if he even realized he was doing it. With a sigh she stood up and took their mugs to the sink and rinsed them out. He stood too and lingered near the doorway.
"I'm gunna' head out, got things to do and all." He muttered watching her until she turned around, then looking anywhere but at her. "Ok, well, thank you again, I really do appreciate this Spike and I know Dawn would too, if she ever found out." He nodded and cleared his throat, "Yeah. Later." And then he was gone.
Buffy wanted to cry more but she didn't think her eyes could take anymore soreness, so she pushed the feeling down until it passed. Grabbing her purse and the shopping list, she grabbed the keys to her mother's SUV and braved the streets of Sunnydale.
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Arms full of heavy bags; her phone was of course ringing. "Hold on!" She muttered, hurrying to the kitchen and dumping the bags on the counter, then grabbing the phone."Hello" she said a little out of breath. "Buffy Summers?" A man asked and she felt her heart drop. A bill collector.
"Yes?" She asked, not wanting to hear what he would say. "This is Dan Richards down at Sunnydale Bank. I just wanted to call you personally and let you know that we received your payment. I'll admit you had us a little worried for awhile but I'm glad to see you were able to resolve your financial situation." Her brow creased in confusion as he went on.
"When such a large sum changes hands we just like to contact you personally to assure you the payment arrived safely and has already been applied to our account. I'm glad everything worked out and I hope things continue to go well for you Ms. Summers." He said brightly "Uh, thanks." She replied not even understanding what was going on. "Have a wonderful day Ms. Summers." Then he was gone.
Quickly rushing to the laptop stationed on the dining room table Buffy pulled up an online view of her account. Her current checking balance sat at $20,000 and there was a payment made to her mortgage account in the amount of $128,054.73. Buffy's jaw dropped and her eyes widened as she stared at the numbers.
'There must be a mistake, someone accidently wrote the wrong account number on their deposit slip.' She tried to reason with herself. Clicking on the transaction the details came up, Wolfram and Hart was the name on the account the money had come from. For a moment Buffy stared in shock at the words.
Spike had called Angel? He was willing to go that far for her? Then irritation started to set in. This was the most incredible, generous thing anyone had ever done for her, but she refused to take this much money from Angel. He pulled himself out of her life and no right to do something like this without talking to her.
One by one Buffy pulled up each account she owed money to, phone, water, electric, 'Oh my god, I didn't even think about the electricity!" She thought slightly disturbed that she had managed to block that from her brain and not even notice it was working when it shouldn't have been.
Each webpage told her the same thing. A payment had been made to the account from Wolfram and Hart, paying the full past due balance as well as a six month advance. Tears were pouring from her eyes again as she began totaling the amount that had been payed to her bills. $165,000.
Her mind was reeling as the tears scalded her cheeks and she pounded her fist on the table. For just a moment it was a miracle. But there was no way she was keeping Angel's money. Each breath burned her lungs as she thought about how in a matter of moments she would go from completely set to being right back in the same position as she was that morning.
Numbly she went back to the kitchen and began putting the food away that she had just bought. Somehow it felt different, taking money from Angel than it did from Spike. Because he was in her life, or had been until recently and he loved her. Well, Angel did too, but it was different and Buffy couldn't explain why. She just knew that it would be wrong.
Even if Spike did mean well getting Angel involved, Buffy couldn't help feeling a bit betrayed. When everything was put away Buffy made her way upstairs to take a shower. She needed to get a hold on her emotions before calling Angel and telling him to take the money back.
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"Hey Buffy, what can I do for you?" Angel asked cheerfully and suddenly anger smoldered in her chest at his cavalier attitude. "You know why I'm calling. It was incredible and I can't believe you did it, but undo it, now, please." She said trying to push the anger down and talk calmly.
"Um, what?" He asked in utter confusion. "The money Angel. Take it back. I know Spike probably thought there was no other choice, but there has to be, I won't take your money." Angel sat back in his chair trying to decipher her words, but he came up clueless.
"You are making about as much sense as Dru right now Buffy. What about Spike and money?" He asked somewhat bitterly at the mention of his granchilde's name. "I know Spike called you and I know you paid my bills. I checked my accounts, they all received payments from Wolfram and Hart this morning."
It finally clicked in Angel's head and he was now fighting anger of his own, he really hated Spike with a burning passion. "Buffy, Spike has accounts with Wolfram and Hart. Most demons and vampires do; the firm is also a bank for those who have been around a long time and need somewhere to bank their money that knows about supernatural creatures. We can't really keep our money in regular banks; it would look weird having the same account under the same name for hundreds of years. I have them too. William was from a very wealthy family and since there was no one to carry on the name after he was turned, he collected the money from the bank and moved it to here, and it's been gaining interest for over 120 years."
Buffy's jaw dropped and she felt like it was the hundredth time that day. The irritation and anger disappeared and once again she was left in awe of the peroxide vampire. "Oh." Was all she could think to say. "Thanks Angel" She said and hung up. Angel put the phone back in the receiver and pulled up Spike's accounts.
"God damn it!" He shouted and the sounds of breaking furniture filled the lobby as he took out his rage on his office. Of course, Spike would now look like Buffy's hero. That was just one step she took closer to the menace and another step she took away from him.
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Buffy sat in stunned awe. Ok, so Spike had a lot of money, maybe that meant what he had spent on her bills was like pocket change to him. But to her it was an incredible amount of money, one that she would never be able to repay. So even if it meant nothing to him, it meant something to her.
The flood gates finally burst and Buffy felt pure joy as the deepest love she had ever felt rushed into her heart. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed in a loud whisper. "He really does love me!" Jumping up she raced to the phone and called Willow to arrange a little surprise for her favorite vampire.
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When Spike saw that Buffy had left a message on his cell phone he rolled his eyes and groaned, knew she had realized her money trouble was over and the message was probably just a continuous string of incoherent 'thank you's' but when he listened to it he couldn't help but grin as his heart ached.
She was so cheerful and bubbly, she finally sounded happy again. She didn't mention the money but asked if he would come over that evening. "New message" his phone said as he saved her message to listen to it over and over. "I really fucking hate you." A dark and moody voice whispered harshly from his phone and Spike couldn't help the bark of laughter at his grandsire's anger.
However his good mood faded as he realized there was no way Peaches would have noticed the money transfers, unless Buffy had called him. 'Of course you wanker, the payments came from Wolfram and Hart, she thinks the money was from him! He probably told her it was too. Damn it, I don't want her to love me for the money, just see that I love her enough to give it to her!'
The glass tumbler in his hand didn't stand a chance as it shattered into hundreds of glittering pieces on the crypt floor. 'She probably wants me to come over and tell me to bugger off out of her life again. Sod this, I'm leaving. She wants to believe I'm like every other ponce that hurt her, then I will be! I'll get to her house and tell her I'm leaving before she can say anything. Yeah, that's what I'll do!' His plan solid in his mind, he began to drink away the hours till sundown.
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Only a few more minutes and Spike would be there. Buffy was nervous as she checked her appearance again. "You look great Buffy, stop worrying." Dawn told her as she and Willow headed for the door. "Have a good night Buffy, call us at Tara's if you need anything." Willow said smiling. "Thanks guys, goodnight." Buffy replied and gave each of them a tight hug and they were gone.
'Ok, candles, check, drinks, check, sexy Buffy?' Looking in the mirror again she took it all in. Her hair was curled and had a messy chic look that would be impossible for Spike to resist putting his hands in. Her eyes were smoky, her lips glossy and red. A new dress clung to her body, it was blood red with a black lace corset embellishment around the top, a necklace of several silver strands hung at just the right height to draw the eyes to her cleavage. Black leather knee high boots finished the look. All in all, she looked damn good and Spike would be hard the moment he saw her. 'CHECK!' She thought and giggled.
She walked down to the living room to look it over once more. The coffee table was moved to the side, a giant white plush cushion took up most of the floor, a black satin throw accented it and small red cushions made it look inviting. Candles lit the room in a warm glow and gave off the scent of pineapple and Tahitian vanilla. The wine was chilling in a bucket on the table next to her very own little concoction.
A knock at the door startled her making her jump and turn to it. Quickly she lay down on the white cushion, propping her head up in her hand. "Come in" she called. A moment later Spike appeared in the door way.
His eyes instantly shown with love and extreme lust as he looked at her. All he wanted to do was yank his jeans down and thrust into her warm depths. He moaned involuntarily as she held out a hand to him. His mind still buzzed with alcohol and he battled with himself about whether he should go to her or turn and run.
After a moment he fell onto the cushion beside her, covering her upper body with his and fusing his lips to hers in a deep and demanding kiss. Buffy happily sucked his tongue into her mouth, heat flaring to her groin as he moaned. "Oh Spike, I want you so much." She gasped when he finally released her to breath. His lips trailed down her neck as she whimpered "Please, I want to make you as happy as you've made me!"
He suddenly pulled away, looking hurt and disgusted. "That what this is about Slayer?" He growled moving to put distance between them. "I paid your bills so you're going to give it up like some 2 bit whore?" He barked while glaring at her.
Buffy knew she should be offended but she couldn't muster the indignation. She was still smiling softly as she held out her hand to him again "No, let me explain." She said waiting for him to rejoin her. He finally did but would not touch her. She giggled and sat up, noticing as his eyes racked lustfully over her cleavage.
"Read this." She said handing him a sheet of paper and picking up her wine glass. "Some are evil, some are kind, now you must speak your mind." He read out loud as Buffy drank the liquid. Her throat began to glow brightly for a moment as the spell activated the potion. "There, it's a truth potion, ask me anything you want." Buffy told him, pulling her knees up to rest her head on them.
Spike looked pensive before asking. "Did you call Angel today?" She was a little confused, "Yes." Spike nodded. "So he told you how he paid your bills." Buffy giggled again "No Spike, he confirmed that you did. It made me realize something that I've been denying for a really long time. What you did for us today, did for me, was so generous. And I know how bad this looks, with the timing and all, but you made me realize just how much you love me. And it made me finally admit just how truly amazing you are. Even after I hurt you so much and pushed you into pushing me away, you were still round in case I needed you, just to make sure I was happy. Angel kind of made it sound like you have so much money that this was like pocket change for you. But to me, it was life changing, in more ways than one. Yeah it paid all my bills and is letting me breathe easy about that but it also changed my life, because you finally made me see." Buffy finally stopped talking, as she gazed into Spike's eyes."
Spike swallowed in shock at the depth of sincerity shining in Buffy's eyes. "Go ahead," Buffy prompted "ask the question that's burning in your brain right now." She said sitting up on her knees so she could look into his eyes.
"Buffy," he said but stopped, suddenly nervous. After a deep breath he asked "Do you love me?" With a soft smile she looked him right in the eyes. "Yes Spike, I love you. I'm in love with you!"
Buffy leaned in and kissed his cheek, then his neck before continuing. "You are kind, caring, sweet," She said, gently kissing all over his face and neck between words. "Generous, loving, intelligent, thoughtful." Then she leaned back to look him dead in the eyes. "I don't know why I wouldn't let myself see it before, but I do now. You are an amazing man Spike, I love you. With all my heart and soul, I love you."
Spike could only stare back into her eyes. His heart squeezed throughout her entire speech and his eyes burned with unshed tears, she loved him! Maybe the money had made her realize it, but it wasn't the money she loved him for. And she thought of him as a man, not a monster. That was the most incredible thing she could say to him, besides admitting she loves him.
With a genuine smile, which was rare for him, Spike grabbed her and pulled her tightly to him then sealed his lips over hers. The kiss was sweet and gentle, but demanding at the same time. Joy tingled through him as Spike kissed Buffy for the first time, knowing that she loved him, somehow it made this the best kiss they had ever had.
"Oh god Buffy," Spike whispered as he finally pulled away to let her breath, leaning his forehead to hers. "I love you so much pet." Stealing another kiss Buffy said "I love you too Spike, so much." "So what do we do now pet?" Do you really want to be with me? After everything I put you through, after all the pain I caused you?" Running his fingers through her hair, he looked her in the eye and without hesitation responded.
"Course I do pet, I love you, like I've never loved anyone before. I wouldn't have gone through all that unless I did. Nothing will ever make me stop wanting you Buffy and nothing will ever keep me away again." Good!" Buffy exclaimed, sitting back and pouring them each a glass of wine, then handing one to Spike as she took her own.
"Then I have something to ask you." Buffy said snuggling up to Spike as he wrapped an arm around her. "What's that pet?" He asked curiously. "I know that I want to fall asleep in your arms every night and wake up to you every morning. I want to do the stupid mundane stuff people do together, like cook and do laundry and make the bed. I want to be with you as much as I can. Will you move in with us Spike?" She asked and waited for his response.
Spike felt as if his cheeks would split from the smile that spread from ear to ear. "Oh god pet, yes, I'd love to move in." Buffy let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and laughed in shear happiness. This was one of the all time greatest days of her life.
They each took a sip of wine before Spike could no longer contain himself. Twisting, he grabbed her and pulled her into his lap "Say it again pet." He asked and she could see just a sliver of doubt still lingering in his eyes, right then she vowed that she would never see it again, she would do whatever it took to eradicate any doubt he ever had.
"I love you William." Then her lips were on his and they were falling back onto the cushion. "I love you, I love you, I love you." She whispered over and over as his hands and lips roamed her body and soon she was shouting it as he made her his.
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Laying in the warm afterglow, entwined in each other's arms, Spike laughed. "Don't usually like magick, but that spell was bloody brilliant." He murmured as his lips lightly grazed her temple. Buffy sighed happily
"Finally, a spell we can thank Willow for." Spike laughed as he sat up and stretched, "That is almost a first." Taking a sip of his wine he looked back at Buffy, laying in the warm glow of candle light, her skin shimmering with sweat and a loving smile gracing his lips, Spike's heart felt as if it might burst. God he loved her. And this night was the first of many to come.
Pulling a blanket over them, Buffy rolled over so Spike could lay back down and spoon her from behind Her arms automatically going over the tops of his, holding tightly as he pulled her tight to him. "Good night pet, I love you." He whispered kissing her shoulder. "I love you too Spike, forever." Buffy whispered just as sleep claimed her.