Sometimes Kirk wondered how he got into these situations.
The peace treaty had actually started off pretty peacefully.
Spock was asking the natives a couple of questions and Bones was trying to get one of the
planet's people to give him a blood sample.
Overall it was a very boring, that is of course until one of the males greeted him.
Apparently on this planet the people believed touching of the genitals was the equivalent of a human shaking hands.
So of course his reaction to the natives "friendly greeting" was to slap the shit out of him.
Unfortunately this particular native was the son of the chief and slapping someone on this planet was also equivalent to slapping someone on earth.
This leads us to the current predicament our friendly neighborhood captain is in.
Jim is currently trying (and failing) to outrun the rather athletic people of this planet with the ever logical first officer and good doctor running behind him.
"God dammit Jim I'm a doctor not an athlete." puffed Bones.
And of course Spock was carrying on with the many reasons not to slap an important diplomatic figure which Jim answered with a weak excuse of "But he grabbed my balls,"
Bones then grumbled "As if you had any". A cliff then started to appear over the hill they were running up
"Oh shit," cursed Jim as he quickly glanced around "Quick up that tree!" he exclaimed
as he saw a large red tree with broad leaves perfect for hiding in. Clinging to the tree's braches
the three men gazed down to see that the locals had just arrived in the clearing of the cliff. The natives
searched the clearing for any sign of the trio. The three men all held there breath as one burly man came to
the base of the tree and snatched a blue piece of cloth off of one of the thorns sticking out the bottom
"Fuck!" Kirk quietly exclaimed it must've torn off of Bones' shirt when they climbed the tree. The man
looked up and saw the trio sitting there and opened his mouth to call the others over so Spock did the most
logical thing he could think of and grabbed a fruit from the tree resembling a Earth coconut and chucked it
at the natives head which knocked him out Spock then hopped down from the tree with the other two
following while Spock pulled out his phaser and shot the other two natives, stunning them "Daaaaaamn!"
drawled out Bones and Kirk simultaneously.
"Now that that is taken care of we should-" He was cut off as
20 of the natives appeared military style into the clearing.
"Beam us the fuck up Scotty!" Jim screamed into the communicator. "Aye, sir." They all felt the pull of the transporter and the last thing they saw was an arrow whizzing past Spock's ear.
They all tumbled into a heap overtop one another as the appeared into the
transporter room. "Well that went well," Jim said with a wolfish grin on his face, which quickly
disappeared as Bones slammed his foot in between Jim's legs. "How's that for a handshake".