A/N: I was bored, so I decided to write another songfic. Please read and review. I don't own anything!

I woke up

Woke up wide awake

In an empty bed

Staring at an empty room

I have myself to blame

For the state I'm in today

Olivia woke up two mornings after she had a fight with Elliot and it was the morning after she'd found out she'd possibly lost him forever.

Olivia and Elliot had been dating for nearly a year; it had been good until Olivia began having mood swings a couple weeks before. She'd had a major mood swing two days before which caused the argument between her and Elliot, the one that caused her to lose him.

Flashback

Elliot and Olivia were sitting at their desk finishing up DD5s, when Elliot looked up at Olivia, he was desperate to know what was bothering her.

"Liv?"

She didn't reply, she didn't even move a muscle, so he tried again.

"Olivia!"

She looked up at him, slightly dazed.

"Huh? What's wrong, El?"

"Are you ok, Liv?"

Olivia nodded and put on a fake smile. "Yeah, I'm great"

Elliot didn't believe her. "Liv…"

Olivia pushed her chair back as she stood, angrily. She was pissed and Elliot could tell. "What?! I'm fan-fucking-tastic. Just stop asking would ya!"

Elliot just nodded in shock at her sudden outburst, he had never seen her that angry especially at him. She ran upstairs to the rooftop and he went up there to check on her about 10 minutes later. He found her looking over the edge, crying.

"Liv? Liv, what's wrong?"

Her upset mood had just ended and went back to angry. "Would you stop fucking asking me what's wrong?! I'm fucking fine, got it?!" she yelled before running back in to the building and downstairs to the squad room. She grabbed her coat and purse and ran out of the precinct, leaving a shocked, angry and hurt Elliot still standing on the rooftop. He was sick and tired of her mood swings.

End Flashback.

And now dying doesn't seem so cruel

And oh, I don't know what to say

And I don't know anyway, anymore

I hate myself for losing you

I'm seeing it all so clear

I hate myself for losing you

Olivia got out of bed and wiped away her tears as she walked in to the bathroom, where she used the toilet and had a shower, most of her time in the shower was spent crying. She was so depressed over losing Elliot, she loved him so much.

After her shower, she walked in to her bedroom and stood naked in front of the mirror, standing sideways with her hand resting on her slightly swollen belly, as she flashed back to the day before in her mind.

Flashback

Olivia walked in to the squad room, the morning after the fight with Elliot, to find his desk was empty, she couldn't believe it. She was so hurt and angry.

"What have I done?" she asked herself in her head over and over again, until her thoughts were interrupted by Captain Cragen.

"Olivia. Olivia! My office now!"

She nodded and walked in to his office, he shut the door behind her. Olivia could see just how pissed off he was.

"Olivia, sit down"

Olivia folded her arms on her chest. "I'd rather stand" she answered coldly.

He nodded and rubbed his hand together.

"Olivia, what happened between you and your partner yesterday?" he asked concerned.

"I…Um…Accidentally snapped at him"

Cragen nodded as he pulled out a letter from his desk. "This is from Elliot to you" he said as he passed her the letter.

She stood there and opened it, then looked at Cragen before reading it.

'Dear Olivia,

I'm so sick and tired of your mood swings lately, so I've gone back to Kathy to help with the kids. I still can't believe that our relationship had to end this way, but it has. But just remember that I will always love you deep in my heart.

Love Elliot'

Olivia was sobbing so hard, as she read the letter, but as soon as she finished reading it she began to shake, before her knees eventually gave out and she fainted.

"Olivia!" Cragen called to her as he went to her side and dialled 911.

"This is Captain Cragen of the Manhattan Special Victims Unit at the 1-6 precinct. I have a detective, who has just fainted"

Cragen stroked her cheek and brushed her hair away from her face, as he waited for the EMTs to help the detective, who he thought of as a daughter.

He was so worried about her.

I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror

And staring at you is why he's not here

You got what you deserved

Hope you're happy now

'Cause every time I think of both of you it's killing me

And I dread each day

Knowing that I can't be saved

From the loneliness of living without you

Olivia regained consciousness in the ambulance.

"Detective, are you pregnant? Asked the male EMT.

Olivia nodded and groaned in pain from her massive headache.

"Ok, detective, we'll be at Mercy General soon –" he began to say only to be interrupted by a panicking Olivia.

"Is my baby ok? Please tell me that it's ok" she cried hysterically.

The female EMT on her other side began to caress her arm. "Calm down honey. Getting worked up isn't good for your baby"

Olivia nodded and wiped away her tears as she began to calm down.

She was released from the hospital that night, after being told that she was just suffering shock and was told to take it easy for the baby's sake, especially since she was only 12 weeks pregnant, she didn't want to miscarry.

End Flashback.

And oh, I don't know what to do

Not sure that I'll put through

I wish you knew

I hate myself for losing you

And oh, I don't know what to do

Not sure that I'll pull through

I wish you, I wish you knew

And oh, I don't know what to say

And I don't know anyway, anymore

No, no

Olivia looked at herself one last time in the mirror and rubbed her slightly swollen belly, in which her and Elliot's baby was growing inside. He didn't know about the baby yet, she was still trying to find the courage to tell him.

"What would he do? What would he say?" She asked herself as she rubbed her belly.

She sighed and got dressed; she hated herself right now.

What do you say, when everything you said

Is the reason why he left you in the end

How do you cry when everyday you said

Don't ever bring him back again

I hate myself for losing you

A/N: Please review, could become a two shot on request! If people what to see Elliot's reaction to Olivia's pregnancy.