You Never Gave Me A Chance
It was like someone opened a window and let in the cold winter air. Someone filled my heart with heavy stones, and blew out the candle stealing away all of the light. I sit here in darkness, and I do nothing but shift through the broken pieces of glass, the scattered memories of the past. My regrets, those moments I would do anything to do over. I break them into even smaller pieces in a futile attempt to repair them. But all that does for my heart is re-open old wounds and make them bleed out.
Even the precious moments are starting to show signs of breaking. If I were to touch them, they'd surely crumble and become sharp around the edges. Why did I think about those things? Why did I have to remember you?
I held out my heart to you, and you laughed in my face and rejected it as if it were something so stupid, so so... worthless.
Worthless.
That's how I feel now.
I feel embarrassed.
Was I the only one who let their defenses down? Was I the only one who felt warm inside just by being beside each other?
Did your heart once skip a beat when I told you my feelings? Did it feel lonely when I wasn't beside you? Was I ever on your mind, so much that you couldn't think of anything else?
Tell me, why am I not good enough?
Is it my status?
Am I not smart enough for you?
Do I not have the looks to match yours?
Or is it that you never had a heart to begin with?
Am I so blind as to not see that your heart.. it was never there when we spoke together. You were always out of reach..
I really am the fool.
You never gave me a chance, Asano.
I want to hate you.
But I don't think it's possible.. Because my heart is still yours, even though you threw it away. What can I do, I have no feelings left.
We're both to blame.
You have my heart, and you only ignore it.
I.. was a fool to ever give away my heart to those without one.
~ Forever the idiot that loved you,
Manami