AN: sorry about any bad grammer, spelling etc. couldn't sleep, just had to get this out of my head.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of J.K.Rowling's stuff characters plots etc.

Shadows were sent flickering across the room from the tired flames of the Gryffindor fireplace. They barely served to illuminate the cheery common room of the dormant tower. The red squishy couches were empty of their usual chattering occupants. Windows mostly blocked up by the snow, making the room seem darker than usual but still maintaining the welcoming atmosphere that was home to the Gryffindors. The towers members were currently sleeping in the dorms, wary from the day's events. All but one.

It was late but one boy remained sleepless despite being overly worn out. He sat on the ground leaning against a couch close to the slowly dying flames of the fireplace, knees drawn to his chest, chin resting thoughtfully on his arms, which were in turn propped up by his knees.

He let out a long sigh and stretched out his legs in front of him, admiring the nasty bruise he'd acquired on his foot from kicking a coffee table. It had the bad luck of being nearby while the boy was expressing his particularly bad mood on anything that crossed his path.

At least I only use them for balance when I play Quidditch

James rested his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. He was recovering from his bad temper slowly. It had taken him the better part of the day to calm himself. He'd had a fight with Sirius. This time was worse than the others. He really didn't mean for it to get this out of hand.

It was about Lily. He loved her too much, too put it simply. Whenever he was with her, he was distracted, which pissed off his friends because they'd become the third wheel or be ignored. He didn't mean to do it, and there were other couples that were perfectly able to restrain themselves in front of people, he just couldn't do it, no matter how many times he'd been told or fought about it or tried. It was just stupid. He always put it off as But we're graduating soon and we don't have that much time together.

But today Sirius said something that caught him off guard; he doesn't have much time with his friends either. They're graduating too.

James rubbed his eyes in frustration knocking his glasses askew. He'd tried talking to Sirius about it, it's just every time it was brought up it turned into a stupid fight and both sides seemed angrier than before.

James would get pissed off far too quickly and just felt too awkward trying to explain himself, he was never that great when it came to explaining himself to the people that were closest to him. That's why sitting in front of him was a letter addressed to his best friend. It was the best he could do, in his mind at least. He picked it up and reread it, telling himself he was checking for spelling errors and not admitting to himself that it was because he wanted to make sure he didn't seem like too much of a whimp.

Dear Padfoot,

I know this isn't something we can get over by tomorrow like we usually do. We usually have our five minute fights and then it's over with. But this just keeps getting brought up. I realize this is actually a problem because it feels like everyone complains about it. That's why I get so defensive about it and flip out. I know Remus and his girl never leave people out or get distracted with each other, but can you please remember that Lily and I aren't them?

But it's not like I'm doing this on purpose. I am sorry and I know I've said this a thousand times, but I am going to try to stop being so Lily obsessed. I really do mean it this time, and I know I say that every time too.

Don't say don't bother and that it doesn't matter because it does. It matters because you're my best mate and it really hit me this time what I'm doing to you. Please just give me this chance, this one last chance. Because for some strange reason I'm fairly attached to you and I honestly don't know what I'd do without you.

You've been my best mate since we started school, you've always been there for me and I've been there for you. When you were having a rough time with your family you came to my house, especially those times when you're brother is being a nuisance and you can't stand your father. It's come to the point where my parents love you like their own. You know how close we are, I mean you live in my house, and you know every bloody detailed secret I have. I want this to stop getting between us, so I'm going to stop with the whole distracted thing. I'll stop being so unfair to you. I really will try my best.

I just took it for granted, you know? That you'd always be there.

I'm sorry.

Prongs

P.S. eat this after reading it. Peter would shit himself if I knew I wrote it.

James folded it up again and shoved it into an envelope. The paper was badly wrinkled from being reread and refolded so many times. He was afraid that Sirius would be offended that he got this from a letter and not in person. He stuck the corner of the envelope in his mouth subconsciously in thought.

Maybe I should just leave it be and it'll resolve itself…

James shook his head; he knew he had to do something, even if it was with a stupid bloody letter. He readied himself for what he was going to do. Standing, he slowly made his way across the common room and up the stairs, towards the dorm. He walked slowly, so as not to wake anyone up. Who was he kidding? He was stalling, not wanting to do this.

He reached the dorm door and quietly pushed it open, greeted by the gentle snores of his three best firends. Walking softly across the carpet her made his way to Sirius' trunk in search of a convenient place top hide the letter, so as to be found by only Sirius. This was proving to be difficult because of the bad lighting and the not so tidy state their room was in, especially surrounding Sirius' bed.

I swear to Merlin one day we'll clean this shit hole

His foot bumped into Sirius' school bag and figuring that it was as good as any place, he shoved it in there before he lost his nerve.

Letting out a short breath, he walked briskly to his bed and dived under the covers to prevent himself from removing the letter. He closed his eyes and after fidgeting relentlessly for a while, he fell into an anxious sleep, unable to get over his fear of what his best friend's reaction would be.