Every 1 of every 6 boys and 1 of every 4 girls are estimated to be molested before aduldhood in USA. While I'm not from America, I find it revolting that in a modern civilisation children get to face this kind of world too often. This story is dedicated to everyone of those, who has suffered in hands of others. Has it been a parent, a stepparent, a neighbour, a teacher or anybody else, everyone has the right to tell what we do with our bodies and while I have never suffered sexual, or physical abuse, I know there are many of those who have. And it was never their fault! I hope that my story represents even a fraction of feelings of those who have suffered.

I hope to raise awareness of the pain and humiliation and dificulties one have to go trough even in modern, western civilisation even to this day. Sexual abuse is a horrible, horrible crime. One that affects the victim trough all of their life. It's something one can never fully forget. I can only hope that we are the generation that can start to make the difference on this, and many other things that are unjust in this world.

This story will be long, slowbuilt and hopefully realistic.

I was inspired by Bloodthistyangle and their story Dollhouse. I also have to thank them for their support and for encouraging me to write and publish my story. I own nothing and I'm not a native speaker. I hope my lack of grammar or vocabulary doesn't get in the way of my message.

My goal in life is to understand others, so if you have any comments or thoughts, please don't hesitate to comment or PM me, I would be grateful to hear what you think.

Thank you for reading!

-L

EDIT: Now betaed by MalteseFalconM! The newest chapters and slowly but surely, starting from the beginning, the earlier chapters. So, new readers, the quality of language will drop at certain point. If that bothers you, please, drop by later as we are working on getting it updated as soon as our jobs and school allow it. Thank you all for bearing with me and my lack of spelling skills!

The big city. He was moving to the big city. Merlin still couldn't comprehend the fact that he was going to move to the big city! He was so excited! He and his mother had always lived in a small country village. Just a few fields, a couple of cows, nothing special. Everybody knew him and he knew everybody. He had felt for a long time already that he didn't belong here and now he had a chance to see the wider world. Awesome!

It had been a couple of months now since the rich Uther Pendragon had come to visit Merlin's home village to negotiate buying some land. He was planning on building a factory here on the river's edge where Merlin lived with his mother. The villagers were thrilled as not only would the factory bring work to this poor corner of land but also Pendragon Corp. would have to build a new road for the factory. Needless to say, the old one had seen it's better days…

The only one hesitating was Hunith. She would get a fair price for her run-down, small cottage but she had always said that all her memories were there. She had, of course, thought of moving before. If not for herself, then for her son. To a better place with better schools and more life that she knew Merlin craved. But she had no idea what to do or where to go and with what money, so she was stressed. Even more now that the decision was forced on her. Still, she had no say in this matter because she didn't own the land.

But the situation had turned itself upside down! Uther Pendragon had come himself to make an offer on their house. Uther Pendragon was a businessman who ate other businessmen for breakfast but for some reason he had stayed in their house for over two hours and when his secretary had come to inform him that they had to leave soon, Uther had made sure to arrange a new meeting with Hunith. So when he came next time with flowers it didn't surprise Merlin very much.

After a few more visits, Hunith received a very nice sum from her house and Uther made sure that it was only demolished when it was absolutely necessary. That took four months. In those months, Uther visited often and when Hunith came to Merlin's small room one night, Merlin already knew what this conversation was going to be about. Uther had asked Hunith to move in with him. Of course, Merlin was also welcome to move with her and now Hunith was asking Merlin if it was ok. Merlin didn't have much of an opinion, he had nothing against the man who seemed to like his mother so very much, so he actually had just one question to ask his mother.

"Do you love him?" he asked, expecting the answer to be clear but instead his mother looked a bit pained. "Oh Merlin, that is the question I have no answer to myself." Merlin was shocked to hear that kind of response, as his mother had always been a very determined woman.

"What?! But you have been with him for, like, months now! And I thought that you always said that you don't want an 'ok' man because-" Merlin replied before his ranting was cut off by his mother "I know! I know… it's just… he is not a bad man he- he is nice. And he is considerate and he seems so genuine. And I'm thinking of you also, he…" The pause was long enough for Merlin to return the favour and cut in "Me? Really mum, that's so cliché that it's not even funny, you don't have to think about me, why would you think about me? And please don't say it's because I need a father figure!"

His mother sighed. "Merlin… I don't think you understand it now, but I'm the only one here who doesn't have a man to help me take care of you and even if I hadn't been reluctant to take another man after your father, well, let's be honest, there really hasn't been much choice here has there?" Merlin thought about old-man Ben, who raised (surprise) sheep, and young Eddie, who was closer to his age than his mother's.

"I know." Merlin said admitting his defeat. "But I don't need a father! I have you and I'm happy!" he continued in a tone much surer than he felt. Hunith sighed. "Merlin love, I know that you want to live in a bigger place than this… you are special, not like the others here, I know you." This made Merlin feel proud, if also a bit uncomfortable, that his mother did know him. But he was already 13… How lame to be understood by your mother…

"So you are saying that you are going to get married because I want to move to a bigger place?" he asked, now a bit of humour in his voice. It wasn't like anybody was there to witness his close relationship with his mother.

"Merlin! Of course not! How dare you!?" Hunith said, but her tone was more amused than angry. "And who is talking about a marriage here anyway?!" Merlin laughed briefly but got more serious when the smile on his mother's lips faded. "You are talented. You are much more intelligent and meant for much greater things than the other children here." Merlin frowned briefly from the use of 'children' but didn't say anything.

"In a bigger city and a better school you would have a better chance of learning all the things you want and- and also I- I think that I could do something myself." At this Hunith smiled shyly and Merlin couldn't be anything else than happy for his mother. He had felt for a long time that one of the things separating him from the other youths in this village was his interest in the outside world and disinterest in the other people who lived here. He also knew that his mother (and maybe father?) was the source of that. The only times he could really show this part of himself was when he was talking with his mother. This, of course, was something that he would never tell anyone…

"If I had a man supporting us, what do you think, am I too old to start studying?" Hunith asked, almost shyly. "Maybe I wouldn't be any good but, you know I have always been interested in medical studies and now maybe I could, you know, just test it out and-" Merlin recognised his mother was rambling so he stopped her "Mum, you would do great. How about being a nurse?" From there on they spent a good while discussing the possibilities for Hunith and her studies.

"So, can I take it that you would be fine with me going to live with Uther?" Hunith finally asked, shyly. "Mum, I really don't see any bad points here and if you are ok with it, then I guess I'll just be happy to see more of the big world. The only thing I'm going to miss greatly is James Miller's jokes…" James Miller was the middle son of a farmer who lived two houses over, which was also along the route towards the school Merlin attended (with everyone else here) and was a constant annoyance. James wasn't the brightest one out there and he had this habit of following Merlin on the annoyingly long walk to school and making weird noises when Merlin walked (which made some of his friends laugh when they were in the third grade). Hunith grinned and again Merlin was reminded how much a friend his mother was to him (he wasn't sure if he felt happy of pathetic because of that).

"What about Will?" His mother's question surprised Merlin and it wasn't the easiest to answer. "I'll miss him," he answered truthfully "but I can always call him" he said with a grin. For a moment he thought that his mother had a weird look on her face, but it faded away quickly. "I'll tell Uther tomorrow that we are moving, but I guess it will be at least another month, so sleep well tonight and we'll start packing when everything is settled." his mother finally said and Merlin nodded back at her, smiling a bit too brightly in order to give her some peace of mind.

A moment later Hunith closed the door of Merlin's room and let Merlin ponder over his thoughts. Merlin was quite sure that she thought he needed some time to think this over, but in reality there was no need for that. He had never felt this excited. Not even when Will had dared him to climb on the roof of the old mill and the roof had given away.

Will… Merlin would miss him. Will had been his only friend, someone who he felt comfortable with. Merlin was friendly by nature so he got along with most of the villagers but he wasn't that close to anyone. He just wasn't very comfortable with them and most of the things they were interested in bored Merlin to death. In a community this small there was a fine line between being an insider or a total outcast. He knew he was different, he just didn't know how yet. For now, he could just act like the rest of them but sooner or later he would be isolated as a weirdo or continue pretending for the rest of his life with polite greetings and favours. He knew this and he knew that Will knew. That's why he could rely on Will. Would everything be different in the big city? Maybe. Would he need Will anymore? Of course he would. Will was his best friend and he would keep in touch with him for sure.

With final thoughts of whether the bed would be softer in the 'rich Uther Pendragon's' house, Merlin fell asleep.

The new school was huge. He had been expecting it, but seeing the mass of students in the hallways was still overwhelming. But the curious looks Merlin had waited for never came. There were so many students that even they couldn't tell if he was new or not, it seemed. However, everything was so… so alive! So vibrant and so many different groups of people… So different from the world where everyone knew what kind of furniture every single one of your schoolmates had or how many sheep their family owned.

"Hah! See how he runs!" Merlin snapped out of his amazement and frowned as he saw a kid chasing coins that had apparently fallen from his purse that was now on the floor. Merlin stopped one of the coins with his foot and directed his speech to an arrogant looking blonde, his maybe-to-be stepbrother.

"That's enough my friend" Merlin said in an even voice. In his old community that would have been enough to address the situation, but now he had a whole hallway full of eyes looking at him and the said blonde was all eyes himself. "What did you call me?" came the reply, in quite an alarming voice. Merlin had to think for a moment but came up with an answer fairly quickly. "Friend" he said with a neutral tone. "And are we friends?" came the reply in a tone Merlin should have recognised to be intimidating. "No" he replied fast but calm, "I don't think so."

"So it was your mistake then." It wasn't a question. "Yes" Merlin replied, which made the blonde grin with a feeling of satisfaction. "I don't have friends who could be such an ass." This didn't seem to make the other party happy, but some in the hallway started laughing. This just encouraged Merlin but made the blonde seemingly angry. "I could take you apart with one blow" Arthur said with a certainty in his voice. "I could take you apart in even less." Merlin replied automatically and regretted it as soon as he had said it. He wasn't the type to fight and what little he knew about Arthur, it wouldn't end well for Merlin. Arthur did well in about every sport and was part of the school football team.

Arthur seemed to know that too, because now he looked smug. He raised his arms in mock surrender and said "Go on and get me then." When Merlin did nothing he continued. "Come on." Arthur taunted, scorn all over his tone. Merlin felt that he had no other choice and plunged towards Arthur, who dodged easily (of course) and bent Merlin's arm painfully behind his back. "We need to talk." he hissed in a low voice and started dragging Merlin to another location.

Merlin soon found himself pinned to a quiet corner, which he actually found relieving due to the lack of people surrounding them. He was not used to so many people staring at him. "Stay out of my business" was the first thing Arthur said. Merlin was actually a bit surprised to hear his voice because he had totally forgotten that Arthur had said they needed to talk. His arm was still painfully bent and Merlin couldn't turn to face Arthur, but he still managed to say "So you want me to let you be a prick?" Arthur bent Merlin's hand with more force which made him lower to the floor. "I don't need advice from some country bumpkin like you." Arthur spat and with a final squeeze, he let Merlin go and disappeared. Merlin took a moment to massage his sore arm and calm down.

'What a prat' he thought as he went back to the crowd in order to navigate to his next class. He was quite sure he didn't like Arthur very much.

Arthur was pissed. His day was ruined. God, he hated his life right now! He wasn't exactly revolted by the idea of his father remarrying but boy was he pissed off because of the changes to his household.

Merlin and his mother, Hunith, had moved in about one week ago and the changes were everywhere. His father had been smiling all over the place, something Arthur was not used to, Merlin had gotten the room next to his, the one that had been Morgana's until she had left home about four years ago and by God, how much noise could one boy make about how fabulous his new room was? Like he had grown up in a barn or something…

Arthur had always worked hard. He had tried everything he could to make his father proud of him and now the said man was taking a second son and fussing about him at every opportunity… And that, that Merlin, couldn't even be quiet and just … be! But he had to make noise of how awesome his room was, how big their school was and how something everything was. God!

Arthur decided that Merlin was not his brother in any way. He wasn't even going to exist to him.

Merlin managed to find his classroom in time (for a change). It was biology, something he had always felt interested in. He liked to learn how the world functioned. Be it a plant or a human, everything was a part of a bigger picture. He saw Arthur sitting a few seats in front of him and he couldn't stop himself from thinking that there were James' everywhere. 'This must be one of the downsides of moving to a bigger city, there are bigger bullies' he mused, trying not to ruin his generally good mood.

When his day was over, Uther came to pick him up in his awesome car. Merlin had never been good with cars and, anyway, the only cars he recognised were the Corona's and Escort's the local farmers owned. Uther's car had been the talk of the week when it was first spotted in his home village. It had soft seats and working air conditioning and heating! For Merlin, that was his favourite part of the car because he got cold easily. That Arthur stayed at the school for football practice every day was an added bonus, Merlin didn't have to see him for three hours after school when Arthur got a lift home from someone older in the team.

When they arrived at Merlin's new home, he couldn't stop marvelling at the space and neatness and fashion of the décor. The entrance opened into a nice big living room that had a ceiling up to the second floor. The stairs that started from the side of the living room to the second floor where there was first Arthur's room, second Merlin's room and finally Uther's study (which was private, but Merlin was not interested because he had seen it already). On the other side of the stairs was a huge kitchen and a dining room and after those a master bedroom. All the bedrooms had their own bathrooms and the master bedroom lead to the gardens. There was also an inside garage with a connecting door next to the stairs. To Merlin this felt like a dream. A very luxurious dream.

Merlin only realised he had stopped in the middle of the hallway when Uther came to hug him from behind. "I'm glad to see you like my house." he said. Merlin felt happy that his stepfather had accepted him as part of family and he turned and hugged him briefly before saying that he had to do some homework and went to his room.

When Merlin closed his door he still couldn't believe that this really was his room… It was almost as big as their house in the village! He had his own bathroom right next to the door on the right and built in the opposite wall a huge closet. Further in the room opened to a much wider layout and his bed was on the right-hand side with an awesomely soft mattress and linen. On the left-hand side there was a couch and at the end of his room was a desk and a big window so he could see their yard and some scenery (because of course the house was built on a hill with great scenery!).

The furniture wasn't picked by him, he had heard that Arthur's sister (who had already left home to study in university) had lived here and she had decorated the room. To Merlin's relief she had quite plain, and not at all girly, taste. His sofa was comfortable and grey in colour. His curtains were white with some violet and silver, his massive desk was polished wood and bed cover was dark violet. There was not much else and Merlin didn't have many options or belongings, so he had just arranged everything he owned into his desk and closet. The desk was so big and it had cupboards on both sides that Merlin had been able to put all of his books inside of, so he didn't need a bookshelf like Arthur had.

'This SO makes up for having to have an idiot for a brother' Merlin mused before he took his books and started to do some homework. He didn't want to let his new stepfather down, who was obviously very strict about grades. Merlin understood this and studying was not a problem for him anyway. He was just glad to have the challenge he never could have in the village. He didn't have to be careful about having too good grades, in the small village one could easily became bullied for being too smartsy…

He liked it here. It felt like home, where he could be himself like never before. The only downside was that he missed Will (he wanted to share this all with him at least once a day) and the prat (who luckily wasn't home that much anyway because of all the football practises).

'I really lucked out' Merlin thought before he started to read his homework assignment for the day.

Betaed by MalteseFalconM