The door to the café burst open. Samuel L. Jackson—uh, I mean Nick Fury—stepped in, two smoking guns in each hand.
"Yo, swag," he said with style, and blew at the smoke.
"Excuse—if you don't mind?" John Hammond elbowed his way past Fury, walking stick tapping on the floor. He smiled around at the staring inhabitants of the café. "Good afternoon!"
Fury scowled, putting away his guns. "You ruined my entrance."
"Well, I'm sorry!" Hammond sounded highly offended.
"Uh, are you guys, um, gonna buy anything?" asked the man at the counter uncertainly.
"Oh, yes!" Regaining his smile, Hammond approached the counter. "I'll have mango bubble tea."
"I'll have an espresso," said Fury, looking moody now.
They picked a lovely corner table and sat across from each other, Hammond stabbing his mango boba with a coffee stirrer and popping them into his mouth, Fury taking tiny sips from his even tinier cup.
"We really MUST get together more often, Arnold," said Hammond quite cheerfully. "It's been too long."
"Shh!" Fury glanced around furtively. "I'm Nick Fury now, remember?"
"Oh! Right." Hammond nodded so hard it looked like his head might come off. "My apologies, Arnold." He ate another boba.
Fury sighed heavily.
"Anyway," Hammond continued, "I've rebuilt my park as best I can. But I'm—ahem, having a few finacial troubles. I need someone to fund it…"
"Look how well your "park" worked out last time," grunted Fury.
Hammond wilted. "It wasn't that bad…"
"It was a disaster."
"Well, how have you been doing?" Hammond asked dejectedly, stirring his tea.
Fury let out another heavy sigh.
"It can't be so bad. I heard you saved the world a couple times."
"Technically, that wasn't me. It was the Assholes."
Hammond blinked, his stirrer pausing. "Excuse me?"
"Oh, I mean the Avengers." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I think my name fits better."
"If you say so." Hammond got a dreamy, far-away look on his face. "Arnold, what is this thing we call Life?"
"It sucks," said Fury with a frown.
"Well, yes, I'm aware of that," Hammond said. "But what is it, really?"
"Whatever it is," said Fury after a moment, "we don't have it."
They stared glumly at each other.
"We need to get some of this Life," Hammond said decisively.
"Where am I going to put the Assholes?" said Fury with an grumpy snort. "And what about your park? It's not gonna survive."
Hammond deflated.
"Wait," said Fury, a smirk spreading across his face (Hammond was quite shocked by this turn of events). "I've got an idea," Fury continued. "Have you ever heard of Tony Stark?"