Author's note : Obviously Harry Potter (both as books and movies) doesn't belong to me. Otherwise I wouldn't be writting fanfiction but real books to put the fans out of their mysery.:) I also do not make any money with it.
Anyway, I know I have other fictions in progress ( rest assured that I am not abandoning them – they're just in hiatus because sometimes I get too attached to them and need some time to sort my ideas and make them better). In the meantime I often work on other stories and this is one of them. I hope you enjoy it.
Magically,
Snapepotter 3
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone
Prologue : Of lost and chosen ones
22nd of January 1980 – Spinner's end
Severus was brewing a batch of Draught of the living Death, completely focused on the fumes emanating from his cauldron – and not as Lucius would have it, on the reenactment of the previous night's raid Mulciber and a few others were taking part in. He knew his lack of enthusiasm was getting on the blond's nerves since he could see his perfectly manicured fingers twitch, but he couldn't bring himself to care. The Dark Lord needed him. The Dark Lord trusted him with his potion and he was not about to disappoint him for the pleasure of recalling his laquais' thryst. He had work to do, and to do well, otherwise his position as one of the Dark Lord's most trusted servants would fall onto someone else and he'd be sent to feed the inferis he kept surrounding his estate.
Focused as he was on the draught however he failed to notice that his companions had tired of their game and were now discussing the last news concerning the Order of the Phoenix.
« Speaking of which Snape », Lucius purred. « Do you know ? »
« Do I know what ? » The question was spoken with no small amount of irritation.
«Potter and the little red-haired mudblood... They've gotten married. »
«This is old news », Severus replied keeping his face blank, although a small tremor shook his hand. Lily.
«You're right », Malfoy smiled pleasantly, apparently satisfied by his emotionless expression. «But I'm sure you didn't know she's pregnant ? »
« What ?! »
The smashing of the vial he was holding was thankfully concealed by Greyback's roar of laughter. Severus watched as the group laughed their heads off and allowed a bitter chuckle to make its way out of his throat.
« Reparo », he muttered before casting a healing spell on his bloody hand.
He was shaking.
He was going to kill Potter. And if he stumbled upon his tosser of a friend along the way, well... That'd be two members of the Order he would have wiped away from this earth.
A small part of his mind, the part that belonged only to him though, was in agony. Lily was expecting a child. A child that should have been his, with her green eyes, her beauty and his magical talent.
Just as he was about to quietly make his way upstairs in order to smash some furniture however, he felt the familiar burning in his left arm. The Dark Lord was summoning him and he'd better be ready to do exactly as he bid.
Lord Voldemort's headquarters – Little Hangleton's
His master was already waiting for him when he arrived, his milky red gaze fixated on some parchment Bellatrix Lestrange had given him.
« Ah, Severus », he whispered with satisfaction as the young man kneeled and bowed before him, kissing the hem of his robe. « I trust my friends have not been a bother to you ? »
« Not at all your lordship », Severus replied taking this as his cue to stand up once more. «Anything my lord wants from me is my pleasure to give. »
«Good. And the Draught of Living Death ? »
« Still brewing my lord. Another fortnight and it'd be ready... »
« Lucius was right », the wizard smirked. « You really are invaluable... And to prove to you that your lord is thankful, I will give you a mission I saved for the most loyal of my followers. »
« I do not know how to express my gratitude my lord », the younger replied, bowing once more. « Thank you... »
« Do not thank me yet... », the master hissed softly. « This will be perillous. »
« I am ready to do everything it'll take to please you master. »
« A snitch of mine has told me Dumbledore is meeting a clairvoyant next week. I suspect he wants something out of her and the easiest way to know what it is, is to have someone spy on them. »
«Oh... »
« You'll be at the Hog's head on tuesday at midnight », the Dark Lord ordered. « Be early. The old man is cunning and could suspect foul play. »
« Yes, my lord. »
« You can go now. Tell Lucius and his stooges to get out of your house. I don't want anyone to find out about it. I've already lost Regulus last week and I am tired of my plans being thwarted. »
« Of course my lord », Severus said with deference before kissing the hem of his robe again.
29th of January 1980 – Hog's head – Hogsmeade – Scotland
Severus or Tobias Crane as he'd presented himself to the bartender, tried not to roll his eyes as Sybill Trelawney served Dumbledore with yet another prediction on his pet's well being. It seemed the dark lord had been mistaken as the woman was spurting rubish. The old headmaster seemed to agree with him because he soon made it known that he had no intention of hiring her. However, just as Severus was about to carry on his way and report to his master a third voice made itself heard – a ethereal, hoarse tone.
« Sybil ? », Dumbledore asked. « Are you alright ? »
«The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... »
Severus was holding his breath. A prophecy ! Trelawney was giving Dumbledore a real prophecy telling him someone would vanquish the Dark Lord ! Shaking with anticipation the young wizard got closer to the door and...
« What do you think you're doing here my boy ?! », the bartender's voice boomed as he was roughly pushed away.
« No...No...Nothing », Severus stammered as he faced the tall and brawny man.
« Well take your nothing with you and get out of my establishment. »
The young death-eater was tempted. A quick flick of his wand and the git would be no more. But the commotion he'd caused had been enough to trigger Dumbledore's suspicions and he was already opening the door.
At this point Severus was left with no choice. He was absolutely not gifted enough to face the headmaster and right now he'd better keep his life and go back to the Dark Lord with half a prophecy than not go back at all. So he did the only thing he could. He apparated away, straight to Little Hangleton.
Lord Voldemort's headquarters – Little Hangleton
The manor his master was staying in was quiet and Severus had only met two of his comrades when he was allowed in the Dark Lord's presence.
« I bring some news sir », he stated after the wizard had motionned for him to talk. «Albus Dumbledore met a woman named Sybill Trelawney who at first seemed to be an imposter but proved herself a true clairvoyant... She made a prophecy. A real prophecy concerning you wy lord. »
« What did she say ? » The Dark Lord's voice had an edge to it that made Severus tremble and he hastened to reply.
« The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies », he recited.
« Was that all ? »
« No my lord. But the bartender saw me and I was forced to flee the scene. », he admitted.
«Ah... Abelforth », the master sighed. « You did well not to try and face him. However I hope not to be disappointed in you again... »
« You won't be », Severus promised, already preparing himself for the Cruciatus that would be thrown his way.
«Who do you think the prophecy refers to ? », the master asked instead, shocking him.
« The Prewett or the Longbottom I suppose », Severus replied. «They're both pureblood families and I believe only a pureblooded wizard could ever hope to defy you my lord... »
«You could be right of course », the Dark Lord said thoughtfully. « Both their wives are expecting at the moment. But there's another couple I have in mind. »
«Ah.. »
« The Potters », he announced.
« The P..Potters ? », Severus inquired with a shaky voice.
« Yes Severus. The Potters. Fate tends to have a distorted sense of humour and while the Prewett and Longbottom's have defied me three tomes already I could have expected no less from highly educated and pure blooded wizards. Lily Potter however is a muggle who managed to escape my wrath far too easily for someone of such low birth. Her child could very well be my demise... »
« What are you going to do then ? », the young man asked, fearing the answer.
« I'm afraid I'll have to kill them all. Potter would have been a great addition to my ranks despite your animosity towards each other.»
«Could you not spare them and kill the child ? »
« Them ? » The Dark Lord's voice turned curious as his gaze fixated on Severus' face.
« I have to admit my lord, that Lily Potter was once my friend and that I would be saddened by her passing... »
Who was he kidding ?, he thought desperately. Lily was the love of his life. Her being murdered in cold blood would break him, render his life miserable and unworthy to live. She had to stay alive even if her husband and brat were slaughtered like pigs.
But the Dark Lord only laughed.
« My dear Severus », he smirked cruely. « You've always been too romantic for your own good. It is time for you to grow up and chose a mate more suited to your talents. Lily Potter is but a muggleborn, a mudblood born to be our slave and she will die. But to prove that I'm a compassionate master I promise you : I will make it quick. Now go and get this idea out of your head. Muggles are meant to wipe the floor we are walking on, not warm our beds. »
« You are right my lord », Severus replied blandely, although his head was spinning. « Goodnight my lord. »
The man just smirked.
Later, much later, Severus would remember this as the moment he'd stopped worshiping his master and it was as painful a realisation as the foreboding he felt concerning Lily's well being. The Dark Lord, the only man on earth able to understand him was only a butcher, greedy for power and immortality. He'd stopped being his mentor and instead had become the ennemy. Voldemort.
31st of January 1980 – Hogsmeade – Scotland
« Don't kill me ! »
« That was never my intention », Dumbledore replied calmly, though his wand was still drawn. « Well, Severus... What message does Voldemort have for me ? »
« No...No message... I'm here on my own account. »
Severus was twisting his hands. The cold wind was blowing with enough force that his hair whipped his face each time he spoke. He knew he probably appeared to have lost his mind but he didn't care. Dumbledore had to understand.
« I... I come with a warning... or rather a request... Please... »
« What kind of request could a Death Eater possibly make of me ? », Dumbledore asked, though curiosity shone in his blue eyes.
« The prophecy... Trelawney's prediction... »
« Ah yes... How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort ? »
« Everything. Everything I heard. That's why... It's the reason why...He thinks it means Lily Evans. »
« The prophecy didn't refer to a woman », Dumbledore observed. « It spoke of a child born at the end of july... »
« You know what I mean ! He thinks it's her child. He's going to track her down... kill them all. »
« If she means so much to you », Dumbledore carried on, « Surely Voldemort will spare her. Couldn't you ask for mercy for the mother in exchange for the son ? »
«I have... I have asked him... »
« You disgust me », the headmaster spat, his tone so full of scorn that Severus felt bile rise up his throat. «You do not care then about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die, as long as you get what you want ? »
« Then hide them all », Severus said after a while. «Keep her...Keep them safe. Please. »
« And what will you give me in return Severus ? »
« In...In return ? »
He watched the older man with astonishment. What could he, a death eater provide Albus Dumbledore with ?
« Anything », he replied brokenly, knowing he would never be able to take it back. He'd just become the servant of two masters.
21st of May 1980 – Godrick's Hollow – West country
« What are you doing up so early ? », her husband's voice asked behind her, making Lily jump.
« You moron », she exclaimed as the tea pot she carried smashed at her feet. «You scared me ! »
« Calm down there Evans », he told her with a small smile, drawing his wand out to wipe the mess. «I didn't mean to. »
« You're lucky I'm too big to throw things at your head », Lily joked as he kissed her. «I've received an owl from Dumbledore. He'll be there shortly... »
« What does he want ? Our last mission was a success... »
« It seemed important. He said he couldn't write everything down in a letter because of Voldemort's spies. »
James sighed as he noticed her hands shielding her growing belly. They both knew how dangerous it was to bring a child into the world now of all the times and Lily was getting more and more paranoïd everyday, her maternal side making her want to hide her baby away until everything was settled. Before he could comment on it however, she snapped out of her thoughts and began to work anew, preparing scones with a vigor that made some of her fiery locks escape her bun.
He smiled. With her pale skin, brilliant green eyes and deep auburn hair, she'd always been beautiful but now that the pregnancy had settled in, rounding her face and body she was truly magnificent. A Botticelli, Remus had told her the last time he'd visited a few month before.
He never came around now that the war was declared and James knew Sirius suspected him to have closer ties with Voldemort than the Order. The last time they'd spoken about it Lily had had a fit and she'd told Padfoot that if he ever wanted to be allowed in her presence again he'd have to stop doubting his best friends. Sirius had not mentionned Moony since and James didn't know what to think. If he was honest with himself he'd say he sided with Lily on this one because he'd always trusted Moony over anyone else, appart from Sirius and his wife. He was worried though, because he knew the Ministry, in the hopes of blocking Voldemort's ascension was coming down hard on magical creatures. They barely had the right to get out of their houses now. Which was surely why Remus never showed up on their doorstep. He had an excuse.
Peter's absence was more worrisome. He was getting paler and paler each weeks and James was certain he had trouble escaping the death-eaters increasingly elaborate raids. The previous week he'd all but fallen asleep in the couch while the others were admiring Lily's sonogram. But Wormtail refused to mention his troubles to anyone and even Sirius was feeling a bit at a loss when it came to helping him.
Before James had had the time to tell Lily they should invite the guys however, the ward alerted them of an intruder and Lily shot to her feet, wand in hand.
Thankfully it was only Dumbledore. Completely taken aback by his golden robe Lily nearly snorted as she opened the door and only a stern glare at her husband prevented him from doing the same.
«Good morning Headmaster », Lily greeted taking his coat. «James will show you to the living room so we can be more comfortable. I'll be there shortly. »
« I think I've already told you to call me Albus, Lily », he replied.
« Doesn't she know it », James exclaimed. «Minerva nearly had a fit the other day when she called her Professor McGonagall. She just cannot help it. Politeness is in her blood. »
« Speaking of blood », Lily asked as she put down a tray full of scones and tea before slumping into an armchair. «Do you have any news from Voldemort. »
« Unfortunately I do », Dumbledore replied with a sigh. « Which is why I'm here... »
« Oh... »
« Voldemort is getting stronger each day », the old man carried on. « But what worries me is that he now knows of a prophecy Sybill Trelawney made. »
« Trelawney ? », James exclaimed with disbelief. «This charlatan ? »
« It would seem she is not as much of a fake as I suspected », Albus replied. « I met her because I'm in dire need of a Divination teacher and she proved herself a valuable seer. »
«Does this prophecy concerns us ? », Lily asked, taking in the way his gaze never wavered from her face.
«Indirectly. », he admitted. «She announced the coming of a wizard who would be able to stop Voldemort. »
« You don't mean... », Lily exclaimed in absolute horror, confusing James.
« I'm afraid so », Dumbledore replied. « But first you need to hear the prophecy in its entirety. 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... And the Dark Lord will mark them as his equal, but they will have a power the Dark Lord knows not...And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... ».
« You think it'll be our child ? »
« Not necessarily », Dumbledore replied taking in their fearful expressions. « Alice Longbottom is also due to deliver in July and the Prewetts too. »
« Then why did you come to us first ? », Lily asked.
« When Sybill made the prophecy we had the infortune of being overheard by one of Voldemort's spies. He immediately reported it to his master who chose to target you... »
«But how do you know that ? I doubt Voldemort would allow the rumor to be spread enough for you to hear about it... »
«The death-eater in question has been informed of his master's project and rushed back to me to make sure I would keep you safe. »
« So it's a spy of yours then », James deducted.
« He was not at the time. »
« You mean Severus switched sides so that we would be safe », Lily deduced her voice a mere, shocked whisper.
«That's exactly what I mean... Now, before James questions his loyalties you must know that this information is to be kept a secret at all cost. I suspect someone in the order to be a double agent and wouldn't like for the young man to be endangered. »
« I wasn't going to question his loyalties. I know he always has loved Lily and I would have done the same were I in his position », James admitted timidly, proving to Lily he had well and truly grown since their years at Hogwarts.
« I'm glad to hear it », Dumbledore replied, his eyes twinkling. « But now we must think about your protection. I talked to Filius about it and he thinks a Fidelius would do the trick... »
« We will have to chose a secret keeper then... »
«Can we think about it ? », Lily asked.
«I wasn't expecting an answer just yet... For now I think your wards are enough to protect you... But the closer the baby's due date gets the more desperate Voldemort will be... »
« Then we'll be ready », Lily said her face the very picture of determination.
31st of July 1980 – Godric's Hollow – West country
A girl. Lily had given birth to a girl. Crying silently as she rocked the infant to sleep, the young mother was trying to come to terms with what it meant for them. James was silently discussing the matter with the Prewetts and Longbottoms. They were probably all agreeing on Alice's idea to keep Harry's sex a secret for as long as they coud in order to protect all of their children. If Voldemort knew she'd given birth to a girl he would lose interest in them and concentrate his efforts on the small Neville and Colin. Or, as Lily suspected, he would chose Harry because he'd feel fate had designated her as his equal... All in all, announcing the three children were boys would help their cause...
The fact should have put her more at ease but Lily wasn't feeling any of it. As soon as Harry had been placed between her trembling arms she'd felt it. The foreboding. Her daughter was special but she wouldn't get a lot of time with her and she better be prepared to protect her from afar.
1st of September 1980 – Great Hall – Hogwarts – Scotland
Severus was shaking as Dumbledore introduced him as the pupils' new Potion teacher. It wasn't that he was doubting his ability to teach the topic to a bunch of snivelling brats but rather the fact that he could feel the cold glares of his new colleagues piercing a hole in his back. McGonagall hadn't said anything when the headmaster had told her Severus was going to be her coworker but the way her lips had suddenly pursed and her frown deepened had said it all. She would watch him...
To top it all, Dumbledore seemed strangely out of it since the birth of Potter and Lily's son and Severus knew he was preparing something. It made his skin crawl knowing someone as clever and ruthless as him – because Severus couldn't be fooled. Dumbledore was as cunning and ruthless, if not more than his previous master. He just hid it astonishingly well – was playing with Lily's life as if she were a mere pawn.
He knew, because Dumbledore had told him, that the Potters had decided to go into hidding, chosing the Fidelius as their shield. A stupid move that didn't surprise him coming from James Potter and, if he was honest with himself, from Lily. She'd always been fiercely loyal and far too trusting of people. It shouldn't worry him so that they'd chosen Black as their secret keeper. The man, he had to give him that, was brave, up to the point of foolishness and stupidly protective of Potter, a favor he would certainly expand to Potter's progeny and wife, as mush as it pained Severus to admit it. However, chosing Black was much to predictible a move and Voldemort was already looking for the man. They'd have been better off chosing Lupin or Pettigrew for that matter.
A sudden clearing of McGonagall's throat brought him back to the present and he clapped half heartedly as Piers Morgan was sent to Slytherin.
It was going to be a long year.
26th of August 1981 – Godric's Hollow – West Country
Harry's first year passed in a blur and Lily was busying herself in work while her daughter was playing on the small broom, Sirius had gifted her at Christmas. She knew her time with Harry was coming to an end. She could feel it in her bones and she knew James did too from the way he always hugged her harder when he came back from the small missions Dumbledore sent him on. Voldemort was closing in on them and she was trying to come up with the perfect spell to protect her daughter from the man. She only hoped that when he did find them, she'd have had the time to put her other child to safety.
This second pregnacy had come as a surprise since they hadn't been trying to have another child but when they'd found out they'd had to adapt. Since Sirius was Harry's godfather, Lily had felt it natural to ask Severus to be their second baby's. James, surprisingly had agreed and had even decided he would try and mend things with Lily's childhood friend. She had smiled in response at his announcement but knew deep down that it would take Severus a long time, years perhaps, before he'd forgive his rival. Perhaps it'd take him even longer to realise that what he thought was love for her was only a sad, grief and gratitude induced obsession. He'd been so deprieved of love as a child that he'd thought himself infatuated with the only girl who'd finally decided to accpet him for who he truly was. Sev'. She felt sad knowing that she wouldn't be around to see him fall in love with the woman fate had intended for him. He needed all the love he could get to make up for all those years he'd had to live without it.
Before she could think further upon the matter however, Lightning miaowed, seemingly tired with Harry's relentless teasing of his fur and Lily smiled as she took in the soft look Harry was giving the cat. Love.
And suddenly, it was as if Lightning had struck her. Jumping to her feet she retrieved a quill, ink and parchment. She knew what she had to do.
31st of October 1981 – Godric's Hollow – West Country
A storm was raging outside and James had spent the last quarter of an hour trying to get Lightning to come out from under the couch when a strange feeling made him jump to his feet. Running to the window, he watched in horror as a tall and thin wizard made his way towards the door.
« Lily », he yelled, realising who it was at the last minute. « Take Harry and go ! It's him ! Go ! Run ! I'll hold him off ! »
But Lily did not go. In fact she got out of the kitchen, carrying a crying Harry with her and embraced him tightly for a small while before retrieving her wand on the couch.
« I love you », James told her as he kissed Harry's forhead. « Now go ! »
He did not watch as she quickly climbed the stairs, focusing instead on the doorknob who was slowly being turned. There he was. James knew he didn't hold a candle to the wizard who was laughing, his high-pitched, delighted tone turning to rage as James cut off part of his cheek. The green, familiar light of the Avada errupted from the wand he carried and James felt darkness engulf him.
Lily closed her eyes as she heard Voldemort laugh. Before her, Harry was shaking and weeping silently as if conscious that she had to stay quiet. She did not even blink as her crying mother cut her hair off before tossing it behind her covers.
« Harry you are so loved », she whispered urgently, meeting her daughter's serious gaze. « Moma loves you. Dada loves you. Harry be safe. Be strong. »
The tears suddenly stopped as she heard Voldemort climbing the stairs. Wand in hand, she cast the enchantment she'd learnt with Flitwick and waited for the blast. She was ready. Behind her Harry was silent, looking every bit the little boy Lily hoped to pass her off as.
«Not Harry », she found herself begging though, hoping against hope that he would listen. « Not Harry », she repeated as the reptilian man tried to push her aside forcefully. « Please. I'll do anything ! »
« Stand aside », he hissed.
« No. »
« Stand aside girl ! »
She didn't move. Green eyes aflame she stood her ground, wand in hand, until he disarmed her and uttered the avada again. The whole room lightened up as her body hit the ground but he ignored it in favor of the small child watching him with dry eyes.
«So, you are supposed to be my downfall », he laughed cruelly.
The baby just stared at him in answer. It did not blink, didn't cry, just sat there in his cot, watching with interest as he raised his wand and the green light emerged from it for the third time that night.
But instead of falling backwards like his parents had done, the child toppled over as he tried to see why the tall and dark wizard screeched, pain etching itself on his face as his body descended into nothingness. The long, bone-like wand fell to the floor and Harry's forehead began to bleed making her cry as Lightning came up and curled himself around her, purring softly as if to offer comfort.
31st of October 1981 – Hogwarts – Scotland
The storm wasn't a normal one. Severus was certain of it. Wizard meteorologists who were far more suited to predict the weather than muggle ones were at a loss and it bode no good. He was about to tell Dumbledore about it when pain shot in his left arm, making him faint. Only Dumbledore surprising reflexes allowed him not to hurt his head in the process and when he came back to his senses, the old man was watching him, the twinkle in his eyes gone.
« What happened ? », he asked.
« Voldemort has been defeated », the headmaster replied, failing to hide his tears.
« You mean the child... » Severus was shaking, sweat pearling from his brow as he processed the information.
« I have a great service to ask of you Severus », Dumbledore stated after a while. « Something I wouldn't ask unless I could prevent it... »
« Ask away.»
«I need you to go to Godric's Hollow and see what happened there. Take Hagrid with you. He'll halp you. »
Severus noded, confused. Why did he have to go to Godric's Hollow ? But he stood up either way and exited the headmaster's office quickly, his long stride taking him to Hagrid's hut in no time...
« What d' yah want ? », came the gruff response as the half giant opened the door.
«You need to come with me. Dumbledore's orders. », he replied with equal disdain.
« Where ? »
« Godric's Hollow. »
Hagrid's face lightened up and he took Severus' arm without any more questions.
31st of October 1981 – Godric's Hollow – West Country
They arrived in a small village whose cottages had been decorated according to festivities.
« I can't believe the Potters went to this length to decorate their house », a small witch said as they passed her. «Halloween's the theme but to cast a glamour this size to make it appear as if the house had been destroyed... That's too much effort... Oh can't that blasted rain stop for Merlin's sake !»
Severus took a moment to process what she'd just said but once he understood he began to run in the dirrection she'd pointed to while talking. Heart beating in his throat he kept running even if the rain made the stones slippery under his feet and sure enough, happened upon a small cottage who was in ruins.
« This isn't a glamour », he chocked, pausing at the entrance. He could feel the Dark Lord's magic but he was sure the man himself wasn't present.
Carefully, so as not to be taken by surprise should a Death-Eater attack him he drew out his wand and made his way inside.
It was clear at first sight that a fight had taken place here. Glass was shattered everywhere, and things were broken, from the cosy furniture to the glass protecting pictures of the family. Lily's smile seemed sad as she watched the scene from her frame and Severus pushed away the sudden thought that she had... No, he told himslef. She was alive.
She was alive...but it seemed less and less likely as Severus followed the trails of blood, happening upon Potter's body on the way up. His eyes seemed far less mean than in his memory deprived of the smirk that had always adorned the teenager's face when he tanted him. Like this he seemed almost peaceful.
Which was more than Severus could say for himself. His hands were shaking madly now and only sheer determination kept him going. The fear of what he'd discover in the bedroom was eating at him and when he spotted Lily, his Lily on the floor, her gaze as unfocused and deathlike as her husband he shouted.
Crouching beside her, he looked for a pulse he knew wouldn't be there with something akin to despair, tears falling on his long crooked nose as he craddled his dead friend.
He did not know how long he spent like this, barely conscious of what happened around him.
Hagrid was wailing downstairs seemingly doing the same to Potter's body and somewhere behind his cries, Severus heard the quiet weeping of a child. Raising his head he was met by the sight of a small infant who cuddled a ginger cat. The child was bleeding and Severus' first instinct as he noticed the dark hair and spectacles was to wish for him to rot in hell. He slowly got to his feet however and appraoched the cot. The cat hissed threateningly before allowing him to gather the small child in his arms and take him away.
« Here », he told Hagrid as he put the boy into his strong arms.
« What of Lil... »
« Dead », Severus replied coldly, feeling as if his insides had turned to ice.
He shut the door behind him afterwards and apparated to Hogsmeade as soon as he could without risking to splinch himself.
1st of November 1981 – Hogwarts – Scotland
The sun had already risen when Dumbledore joined him in his office, looking every bit the old man he was. A sound escaped Severus' throat ressembling the cry of a wounded animal.
« I thought...you were going to...keep her safe... », he said, feeling like he couldn't breathe properly anymore.
« She and James put their faith in the wrong person », the man replied calmly. « Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping Voldemort would spare her ? »
The words did nothing to appease him. In fact, had it not been for the pain lingering in his left arm, he would have passed out from hyperventilation.
« Her child survives... »
As if he cared ! The brat could die for all he cared !
« Her child lives », Dumbledore repeated. «He has her eyes. Precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and color of Lily Evans's eyes I am sure ? »
« DON'T ! », Severus found himself bellowing. « Gone... dead... »
« Is this remorse Severus ? »
« I wish... I wish I were dead... »
« And what use would that be to anyone ? If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, your way forward is clear »
Severus's pain was so intense Dumbledore's words took a long time in reaching him.
« What...What do you mean ? »
« You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's child... »
« He doesn't need protection. The Dark Lord has gone... »
« The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does. »
It seemed a while before Severus was able to talk but finally he found his voice.
« Very well. Very well. But never...Never tell, Dumbledore ! This must be between us ! Swear it ! I cannot bear...especially Potter's offspring... I want your word ! »
« My word Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you ? » Severus noded, his expression ferocious and Dumbledore sighed. « If you insist... »
Of the following minutes, Severus would remember very little. He would remember the oath Dumbledore swore to him, the silence afterwards while he tried to find his breathing again and the way he'd finally arose from his seat, looking determined. He'd left Severus behind that day. But since then, he was the true spy. He was Snape.