Let's Prove Them Wrong
Why couldn't I let those words escape from my mouth? The words of passion, truth. Why didn't I have the courage to tell him what I thought? What I really thought.
"Come on Jongin. You have to express yourself, let him know how you really feel. Who knows, maybe he feels the same way too." Explains Beakhyun, "If you want him to love you, then you have to give him love right? ".
How did he always know what to say? He's never dated or been in love before! It's like he has the answers to life.
Shit, if we don't go now were going to be late, hurry up and get your stuff hyung.
I dashed to the door, shoved on my DC high tops and we ran out the door. "If were late again Ms. is going to kill us."
I went to St. Peters Academy, the name sounds fancy but trust me its not. The school was known for it's talent shows, acting, instruments, singing, and dancing - which I liked the best. I've been in dance since I can remember. It's my passion.
But, as far as impressive goes, I'm no comparison to Do Kyung Soo. He's voice, his eyes, his words... Every aspect of him, makes me go crazy. He is beautiful. And he's how I found out that I'm gay. Last year, my first year of high school, I was placed in the same class as Beakhyun and Kyung Soo. I remember walking into the room and my ears being filled with this …with this voice, this song, that seemed so familiar, so right. As if it just came over me like it was a wave and washed me away. I was left standing there, staring at the owner of this voice. "Oh, sorry I didn't know anyone else was here". He had said with a smile that was warm and sweet. I remember him asking me if I was okay, since I was stuck in a daze just looking at him. I was so embarrassed.
As we entered the school, made our ways down the busy and buzzing hallways and reached the door to our classroom. You could hear the laughter of Chanyeol, the class clown, cracking jokes at our class president Suho. "Yes very funny Chanyeol," Reacted Suho with a sarcastic tone.
Beakhyun swung into the room, "Morning everyone!" Always in a good mood.
I slowly made my way to the door, my heart raced, scared to see Kyung Soo face. As I took my first steps into the room, I was greeted by two long arms wrapping around my shoulders.
"Good morning, Cutie."
It was Kris, he was the tallest guy in our school and very popular with the ladies, and I mean VERY popular. Girls just transfer to our school just to be near him. "Morning Kris." I replied attempting to removes his arms. But no luck he had me to tight. He always treated me this way, but only me, when I'm not around he is always acts cool and clam. I guess that's just for his fan girls.
I didn't want Kyung Soo to see me with Kris like this but I just couldn't get him off of me. "Kris why are you always clinging to me." I asked, trying to release myself from his monstrous grip.
"Because you always get so mad. It's cute."
I sighed and looked up. There was Kyung Soo reading a book at his desk. My heart started pounding so much that it physically hurt. I wanted to hide my face, yet I wanted him to turn and look at me. I wanted to see his smile, hear his voice. He turned and our eyes met. I could feel my face instantly go beat red. He turned away fast and returned to his book.
Kris finally released me from his grip and I escaped to my desk. " Kris why are you here? Class is going to start soon." Asked Suho, annoyed.
"Oh, come on Prez chill out. I just came in here to visit my Jongin." I buried my head in my arms on my desk. I was so embarrassed. Man, why does he have to say those thing about me? He he can be so annoying. Thanks to him, there are so many rumors that I'm his sex toy, his secret gay lover, or other things.
The bell rang and the class rushed to our seats, as Kris ran out the door to his class and yelled from halfway out the door, "See you after school Jonginie!" I dug my head more into my desk. "O god, why? Why do I have to be tormented by that idiot?" I mumbled to myself.
Class started and Ms. Lee walked into the room. She was strict with her long straight black hair, dark eyes, and constant frown.
"Good morning class. As you know our school festival is only a month away. It is now time to start the preparations. Last night at the faculty meeting, each classroom was assigned different responsibility. Our class is in charge of setting up the auditorium for the talent show. I need two people to work on the decorations, two people to find talent for the show, and 1 person to direct the show. The rest of the class will stay in our room and set up our in class activity. Any volunteers?"
" Oh, oh, Ms! Ms, Ms!"
"Yes Chanyeol…?" She sighed.
"I'll help find the talent." He smirked.
"Okay, anyone else want to help Chanyeol find the talent?" Ms. asked.
"Beakhyun hyung will help me!" Explained Chaneyeol.
"Oh, um sure. I'll help him Ms." Answered Beakhyun with a hesitant smile. He can't say no to anyone.
"Alright that's settled, I need two people to make decorations, anyone?"
Well I guess that's okay. If I'm busy in the auditorium then Kris can't bug me. "I'll do it Ms," I said as I put my hand up.
"Me too, Ms."
That was a voice I knew, a voice that always made me swoon. I turned around to see the voice's owner, Kyung Soo, with his hand in the air.
What is going on? Kyung Soo and I, working all alone together… It couldn't be true.
"Thanks you Jongin, Kyung Soo. All right now all that's left is the director." Said Ms. "Why don't you do it, Suho? You'll do just fine."
"Ms, come on, just because I'm class president doesn't mean I have to be director," Suho rejected.
"To bad," She explained. "Now open your history text books to chapter four."
The lunch bell rang and awoke our bored, sleepy class. Well everyone but Chanyeol who treats history class like a lullaby.
As I was getting up, "Jongin, can you take Kyung Soo and go look at the auditorium? To get some ideas on what to do?" asked Ms. Lee.
I didn't answer right away, I guess I was in a bit of a shock, "Sure Ms," I finally replied.
I walked out of the class, with Kyung Soo following, I made sure to walk ahead, trying to collect myself. Why did I have to act this way? Before we could talk, laugh and smile with each other, it's just when I realized how I truly felt about him, that I just couldn't look him in the eyes with out having a heart attack.
"Hey slow down." Called Kyung Soo.
I stopped dead in my tracks so fast that he ended up slamming into my back. "Hey, Jongin what's the matter?" He grabbed my upper arms and started to turn me around. When my eyes met his I started to panic. I wanted to scream.
"Umm…Nothing I'm fine." I broke free of his grasp and continued walking.
He followed behind me wearing a puzzled expression until we reach the auditorium.
I opened the door, "Hello is anyone in here?" No one answered. Great so I am really alone with him now. We walked down the house to the stage area, when suddenly I felt a hand on my sleeve. I turned to see Kyung Soo face with a worried expression.
"Jongin, why are you being so distant? What's wrong with you?" I tried to make words to come out, any words that could provide him with comfort. But I couldn't.
"I...I like you..." I whispered, horrified at the sound of my voice speaking without my permission.
"What? I didn't catch that."
He didn't hear me, are you serious?! I finally said it and he doesn't hear me. I fucked up.
"Never mind," I climbed up on stage. "We should paint a mural here, and add lighting across here." I volunteered waving my arms in different directions.
I couldn't tell if my heart was beating. It felt broken as if he did reject me. I failed at my confession.
"Jongin, I'm going to head back now." He turned his back to me and walk out the doors before I could say another word.
"What the hell Jongin?! HOW CAN YOU MESS UP LIKE THIS?! I'M SO STUPID!" I didn't realize I was yelling until I heard my echo throughout the auditorium. "You like him don't you Jongin? Why are you so stupid?" I asked myself.
"I don't know, why are you?" A voice said in reply.
I looked around. "Who's there?"
A boy came from the left wing of the stage, I recognized him, but I didn't know his name. He was tall, thin, had light almost blonde hair. He had a great smile and a long neck that held his almond face.
"Why are you so stupid? Perhaps it's because you are love with a man?" The stranger said.
"Who are you?" I asked furiously.
"My name is Sehun, Oh Sehun. I'm in class C. Your gay, huh?"
"I guess I am, since I have feeling for a man." I answered. "Does that bother you?" I asked.
"Yes, a little, but as long as you don't hang around me, I wont bother you." He answered.
"And are you going to be telling people what you heard today?"
"Maybe I will, you never know. Depends. How good are you at cleaning?"
Cleaning? What this boy is going to make me do favors for him? To keep his dirty mouth shut?!
"Clean what?" I asked, getting seriously pissed.
"The auditorium of course. You see it's my job to do it every Friday after school. I find it really annoying, so if you do it for me for the next 2 months until my punishment is over then I won't tell a soul of you sexuality and feelings for Kyung Soo," He smiled unkindly. "Do we have a deal?"
What an ass! But...I don't want Kyung Soo to find out this way, not through rumors. He would get weirded out, or worse hate me.
"Fine I will clean for you, just keep you mouth shut." I answered.
"Okay we have a deal. I will meet you here at 6:00pm on Friday. Don't be late." He said walking away.
"Your going to be here? I thought you wanted me to stay away from you?" I sneered.
"Just don't develop an interests in me and we will be fine." He left the way he came.
I return to the class room mumbling, "I hate my life," the whole way there.