Hello, there everyone! "The Cam" here. I'm currently in Animal Crossing, USA! So, with the new Super Smash Bros. Tournament coming up, there is much controversy about letting "The Villager" participate in this hectic competition. For those of you that don't know, The Villager hails from where I am, Animal Crossing, and is thought, in some circles, to be a serial killer. On the outside, he seems to be a cute little boy, but on the inside, he is a cold-hearted, angry, creepy…the adjectives go on. He is kicked out of every town he lives in, with someone going missing in each town. Mayor Tortimer Tortoise covers it by saying they "move out", but is that the whole story? The Villager is kicked out of each village he visits, with the same people chasing him to each town. He is pure evil. At least, that's what the residents of the many villages of Animal Crossing believe. I will be covering the story of The Villager, through the eyes of the townsfolk.
(K.K. Slider walks into the room. Cheer track plays.)
Slider: Thank you, thank you!
Me: So, Mr. Slider, people tell me you knew The Villager. Could you tell me how he came to Animal Crossing?
Slider: Yeah, I knew him. I know what you're thinking, "How could the great K.K. Slider stoop so low?" Thing is, he wasn't so bad. Well, yet. He was a friend. I'm heartbroken to think of what he's done. Let's see… The day he left his home. That's where it all began.
We were in a dark room in his family's home in the city. He was old enough now that he could leave home and start his own life. "So, you're finally doing it," I say. He says nothing. He was a mostly silent fella. "Gonna get out on your own. Gonna have your own pad. It'll be great," I continue, "It'll be nice leaving the big city." My voice suddenly turned sad, "…Of course, living alone can be bad too. But as long as you have some friends, It'll be okay. Friends are far out. …I wish you luck, my friend." I had no idea what he'd become. I was just wishing him luck in his goals. "Are you ready for the train ride?" He was on his way.
Me: Thank you, sir. May I trouble you to bring Rover in here?
Slider: Rover, get in here! This man wants to ask you some questions!
So I had finished talking to K.K. Slider, but that still didn't tell me why he was vicious. Rover The Cat rode the same train as The Villager on his way to Animal Crossing. He had given him many tips, so maybe he could tell me more.
(Rover walks in slowly, looking puzzled. He trips on a box in the corner of the room.)
Me: You alright?
Rover: Oh, is that the first question of the interview? 'Cause I think I need to sit in the chair.
Me: No, I was just seeing if you were okay.
Rover: Then, yes, I'm fine!
(Rover sits in the chair.)
Me: So, tell me about the train ride.
Rover: Which are you talking about? I've been on so many train rides.
Me: The one with The Villager.
Rover: I've been on 3 rides with him! One was on a bus.
Me: UGH! The first one!
Rover: Alright, thanks for being specific. (His eyes roll as he says this.) Well, first off, he was rude at the start, but I was polite anyways. He tried not to let me sit with him, but I did anyway. I asked him where he was going, but then he realized he had to get a house. I helped him out and directed him to my buddy in Animal Crossing, Tom Nook. He'd find a house for the kid. He told me how he was loaded with cash. He was lying by the way, 'cause he ended up having to work for Nook to pay off his debt on the house.
Me: So, how did he end up doing?
Rover: Who?
Me: THE VILLAGER!
Rover: Okay, thanks. Everyone thought he ended up well living in Animal Crossing, but nope. He ended up having to pay debt on the house as I already told you, and he had quite the outbursts on certain townsfolk. He was angered since he was the only one that wasn't an animal.
Me: Which townsfolk did he have outbursts on?
Rover: Well, let's see… Tom Nook, Sonny and Don Resetti, Tortimer Tortoise…
Me: Everyone you've listed is part of the ASVKIC Program.
(Lights dramatically grow dimmer)
Rover: What's that?
Me: Secret. Can't tell you. Gotta ask one of the members.
Rover: Well, who are all the members?
Me: I've said too much already.
(Lights go back to normal)
Rover: What was with the lights?
Me: It was dramatic! Duh! Actually, it's lighting issues.
Rover: Jeez! Stop with the "Rover is an idiot" joke. Because if I was an idiot, I wouldn't have recognized that it was a stupid joke!
Me: Well, this is a fanfic! Now, get outta my face.
(Rover quickly runs out so as not to anger Cam, tripping on that box again.)
Well, that was absolutely strange. What an idiot. At least the puzzle pieces are coming together. He was originally just a little boy trying to find a home, but when he got there, he had to pay a really big debt, to a raccoon of all things! Now, let's interview the lecturer of lecturers, Mr. Sonny Resetti himself!
(Resetti digs in through the bottom of the room's floor.)
Me: How the heck could you dig up here, this is in my attic!
Resetti: Why am I here? You must have reset somethin'!
Me: (I raise my eyebrows.) This is a fanfic. Get your facts straight.
Resetti: Well then…Uh… Don't reload the page, I guess?
Me: Fine then. You're here so I can ask you some questions about "The Villager".
Resetti: I'LL ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE!
Me: No, you won't. I'm the interviewer, you're the interviewee. Now, who was The Villager to you?
Resetti: Oh. That guy. Always resettin'. He should know that resettin' screws up NPC's lives! AND I'M AN NPC! It makes me start over from the last save point!
Me: Yep. Now. (Light turns off.) Stupid lighting issues. (I get out a flashlight and shine it on myself, making me look creepy.) Now, tell me all about the ACVKIC Program.
Resetti: That's classified info! Don't know how you've even heard of it!
Me: That blabbermouth…..Uh…..Timmy! Yeah… It was Timmy!
(Resetti just looked at me.)
Me: Yeah, you're right. I'm a reporter, it's my job to snoop around!
Resetti: Well… You hate me! You hate me more than Sonic Fans!
Me: I am a Sonic Fan!
Resetti: THAN YOU HATE ME MORE THAN ANIMAL CROSSING FANS!
Me: I'm making an Animal Crossing fanfic. That's why you're here.
Resetti: Whatever, you hate me! I will tell you nothing!
Me: Back to the questions! Uh… I got nothing. I guess you can go now.
Resetti: NO RESETTIN'!
Me: I SAID YOU CAN GO!
(Mr. Resetti digs back into the floor. He crashes through the floor below and into my basement.)
Resetti: OWWWW! YOU HATE ME MORE THAN DIRTY SOCKS!
(I just sigh.)
So, that showed me absolutely nothing. I only get to interview 5 guys, and I choose Sonny Resetti as one of them! Shoulda gone with Don. Next, I'll interview Tom Nook himself!
(Tom Nook walks in and sits.)
Nook: Alright, let's get this over with, I got a store to run.
Me: No, you don't. The Villager destroyed it yesterday just before Tortimer kicked him outta town.
Nook: Well, there goes my alibi. (Angry face.) That jerk, The Villager.
Me: So, how was he when you first met him?
Nook: I knew something was up when I saw an AXE IN HIS HANDS when he got off the train.
Me: He bought the axe from you.
Nook: Really? Well then, I at the very least was sure he was trouble when he came.
Me: YOU LET HIM WORK AT YOUR STORE TO PAY FOR THE HOUSE!
Nook: Well… Umm… I'm sorry. I COULDN'T TELL HE WAS GONNA BE A MASS MURDERER!
Me: Well, still not proven.
Nook: There's way too much evidence pointing to him being the culprit! They shoulda locked him away already…
Me: At least he's gone from the town. I'm pretty sure he's heading to a new town called "New Leaf" or somethin' like that.
Nook: WHAT?! Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to make a phone call.
Me: You're following The Villager?
Nook: I'm sorry, I can't tell you the rest. But it's for the good of the town.
(Nook pulls out his cell phone to call someone.)
Nook: Hello? Yeah, this is Tom. I've just heard that The Villager is heading for a town called "New Leaf". Good, you've already sent Don. Aaand Resetti is stuck.
(Resetti yells from Cam's basement.)
Resetti: DOWN HERE!
Nook: Can you head over there? An interview? Can't it wait? Oh fine, I'll go pack my bags and leave ASAP. See ya there.
(Nook hangs up the phone.)
Nook: Alright, well, I'll see ya. Actually, I probably won't, but bye-bye anywho.
(Nook jumps down into the basement, takes Resetti out of the ground, and exits out the front door.)
Obviously, there is something going on in town. Must be related to the ACVKIC Program. Well, there's one last interview before I go. The guy Tom was talking to mentioned an interview, so it must be my next guest!
(An old turtle walks into the room, hobble on a cane.)
Tortimer: Ah. Glad you have seating, sonny. Heh heh horf!
Me: Good to see you.
Tortimer: Why thank you, boy. I'm gettin' too old. But I still got my pep!
Me: Okay, let's get to the questions. What were your reasons for kicking The Villager out of the town?
Tortimer: The same reason I've kicked him out of every town. He's got problems. Violent tendencies. Just yesterday, another guy "moved out".
Me: Hmm. I heard that The Villager was heading to some place called "New Leaf". Your thoughts?
Tortimer: We'll get him yet! The ACVKIC won't fail again!
Me: Wait, the ACVKIC? Tell me about the organization. What is the acronym?
Tortimer: I've uh… said more than I shoulda. Can't tell ya nothin'.
Me: I came here for answers. You're the last one that I'm interviewing. If I don't get the answers from you, I daresay I'll go straight to The Villager.
Tortimer: WHAT?! YOU CAN'T FOLLOW THE VILLAGER! WAY TOO RISKY!
Me: Same thing you've been doing.
Tortimer: Eh… You make a good point, sonny. Heh heh horf!
Me: Throwing me off with the catchphrase ain't gonna work, "sonny".
Tortimer: Fine, I'll tell ya. Well…. When I kicked The Villager out of Animal Crossing, he was on the move toward the nearest town. That's when we realized we shoulda locked him up then and there. Thing is, we didn't have a jail. Most of us moved to the next town, forming a group we called the Animal Crossing Villager Keep In Check Program. Of course, we had to keep him in check, making sure nothing went wrong. Each time was the same thing, he either ran away, or the town had no jail and we threw him out. It's been sorta depressing, but I'm feelin' confident we'll get him!
Me: Wow. Seems I got all the answers I need!
(I walk out of the room, clipboard and pencil in hand, saying, "What a great story! The public can't ignore me now!")
End of Interview
Well, in the end, the whole "New Leaf" was different from the others, but NOT in a good way. Tortimer "retired" and The Villager took over as mayor. Eh, not my problem. Still, there is the controversy about him joining the Super Smash Bros. Tournament. We'll see how it turns out. Uh….I don't think I have anything else to say. I guess that's all for now, The Cam will see ya next time! What an interesting story….