hi there! this is a brand new story, and the first i've ever co-written - thank you eternally to la lisboa, my mindtwin and partner in crime for this piece. we'll (well, i'll) be posting on mondays and fridays, so please enjoy this chapter and we'll see you next week!

disclaimer: we own nothing you recognize, etc.

It happened without warning.

Jane would spend the next decade torturing herself over what she had missed that night, how she could have prevented the unthinkable from happening. She knew she had scanned the street upon exiting the Dirty Robber, but there hadn't been any cars. On the contrary, the streets had been completely empty. In retrospect, maybe that should have been her first clue that something was wrong.

"I'll walk you to your car," Korsak offered as the door to the restaurant closed behind them.

Jane exchanged an exasperated look with Maura before turning back to her partner. "You don't have to do that, you know. We'll be fine."

Korsak smiled. "I know, but it's late." When Jane still looked skeptical, he said, "I'm an old man. Humor me."

"That's very kind of you, Sergeant Korsak," Maura said, effectively ending all further argument. Jane rolled her eyes at Maura, but Maura just smiled and took her hand. "Just because we closed a case tonight doesn't meet the streets are completely safe. There's still plenty of other serial rapist-murderers out there."

"Thanks for reminding me," Jane grumbled, but she grudgingly followed Korsak, Frost, and Maura down the street. It did feel good to close a case, to rack up one more win for the good guys. This had been an especially trying case, since the culprit had managed to accumulate quite the body count before finally being caught.

The sound of rapid acceleration caught Jane's attention. She turned around just in time to see a dark sedan blow through a red light, nearly crashing into the pedestrians crossing the street, before skidding into a lamppost on the sidewalk. She heard Maura gasp beside her and instinctively squeezed her hand.

Frost and Korsak hurried forward to the scene, but Jane stayed back with Maura. She rubbed her eyes tiredly; it was too late to deal with Boston's terrible drivers. From the looks of things, Korsak and Frost had everything under control. The driver of the car hadn't done damage to anything but his vehicle and no one was injured, although one of the pedestrians was screaming at him. Clearly the uniforms could handle this one. Jane saw Korsak reach for his cell phone and she knew he was calling it in.

And that's when it happened.

The first gunshot took her completely by surprise. Jane whirled around, disoriented; where had that come from? She couldn't tell what the shooter had hit, or even where the shots had originated.

Korsak and Frost were still in front of her, still standing, not crying out in any pain. She knew Maura was still standing beside her, as the grip around her hand had suddenly become vice-like. Her heart was racing as she reached for her weapon. She was glad that she hadn't left it back at the precinct when they'd all gone out for drinks.

She never had a chance to take the shot. She remembered seeing the second car drive up, windows down, the flash of metal protruding over the side of the car. It was the image that would haunt her for the rest of her life.

"Maura!" Jane's scream was lost over the crack of the second gunshot. She could still feel Maura's hand in hers, but knew that the sticky sensation on her wrist had to be Maura's blood. She heard the screams of the civilians up by Korsak and Frost as more gunshots went off and had the split-second image of her partners pushing the civilians to the ground before her world went black. The last thing she remembered was holding Maura's hand – feeling her warmth next to her.

When she woke, Jane's hand was cold. She frantically tensed her fingers, but no one squeezed back.

Jane forced her eyes open. The scene had completely changed. Gone were the dark streets of Boston; they had been replaced by a room filled with white. Jane tried to speak, but something was covering her face. With one hand, she tried to pull the oxygen mask off, but something stilled her arm. Jane blinked; it was her mother.

"Janie," Angela whispered, her voice cracking. "I'm so glad you're awake."

Jane could see tears in her mother's eyes, but she knew they weren't from happiness. Something was wrong; something was very, very wrong. Alarmed, Jane bolted upright, ignoring her mother's cries of alarm. She yanked the oxygen mask from her face.

"Ma," Jane rasped. "What're you…?" Her voice trailed off when she noticed the two uniformed officers standing behind her. "What – what happened?" she asked in a shaky voice.

Angela opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She hiccupped, tears spilling down her cheeks. "You – you have a concussion," she got out finally.

"Ma, Ma." Jane rubbed her hand, trying to reassure her, even as her stomach clenched. A concussion at least explained why her head hurt, but it didn't explain her mother's tears. "Ma, don't cry," Jane said.

"It's okay, I'm okay."

But the realization hit her like a sucker punch to the gut. She was okay. What about Korsak and Frost?

What about Maura?

"Ma, where's Maura?" Her heart nearly stopped when Angela only sobbed harder. "Ma, where is she?" Jane asked, her pitch increasing. She looked at the two uniforms, frustrated that they were just standing there. "Do you two know where she is?" she snapped at them.

"Janie," Angela whispered. "Be nice."

"Tell me what happened to Maura," Jane demanded, forcing a note of calm into her voice. "She was right next to me. She's not here now. What happened to her?" Jane rubbed her mother's hand again.

"Ma, please, whatever happened, just tell me. I can take it."

She knew it was a lie, but she had to say something. Her mother's silence was worse than anything.

Angela couldn't meet her daughter's eyes. "She's gone, Jane. Maura's dead."

Jane couldn't move. Her eyes danced between her mother and the two cops guarding her room. Was this their idea of a joke? Was someone going to jump out from behind the ugly, checkered curtains giving the bed some privacy and shout "April Fools!"

No, it was September. Angela would never joke about losing Maura, not given all that she meant to Jane. Not given all she meant to all of them. Not given the fact that – no. Oh, God, no.

"Ma," Jane croaked, her heart breaking with every new second. One one-thousand, two one-thousand. Crack, crack. Jane's lips moved, but she couldn't force words to come out.

"Ma," she tried again. "Ma, the baby."

Jane felt numb as her mother collapsed into her arms. At least the useless uniforms had the decency to turn away. Jane's hands were patting her mother on the back, but she couldn't feel anything. She couldn't accept this. She refused. Maura couldn't be dead; she just couldn't be.

Jane let her mother cry, but she couldn't. She wanted to climb to the roof of the hospital and scream at the top of her lungs. But she couldn't. Because she had no oxygen. Because she couldn't move. Because she had no will.

Because without Maura, life just simply didn't go on.