A/N: This a collaboration story between me and Aceidia.
Dearest, kind and very sweet little brother whom I love,
How have you been? I mean, like what have you been up to more like. I mean, you've got that awesome new place. (That I don't have), and I am on vacation here in the middle of Heuco Mundo. Camping more like, because you tossed me out a window… My broken ribs are fine and at least there are plenty of other hollows to eat.
You should try some. They taste like marshmallows, but with sand. Lots of it.
I'll bring you back some. Hopefully you got some with this letter.
I am really glad you have that nice place I can see from my little tent. It must be really cozy and nice and I would love to see it sometime. (Like soon. 'Cause it's frickin' cold out here at night. How you could be so cruel, I don't know.) Disregard that last sentence. You're great. Smart and have my good looks. (And still have more luck with the ladies than I. Why?! You're a creep!)
Anyhow, brother dear, I would love if it if you opened your window and tossed me a pair of googles. (Too much sand!)
I hope you are doing well. (In your castle you won't let me in and have taken to etching 'Stay Out Yylfordt - or Else' on the door. And if you don't let me in soon, I'm gonna scream! I hear from Grimmjow, you even have a soda machine! Wow!) Anyhow… Congrats on your promotion, (And that stupid number eight you have tattooed somewhere. (Your butt?) It's my least favorite number in the whole wide world!)
I must try and start a fire here, so I must bid you farewell for now, my dearest brother.
Bye,
Yylfordz Grantz
(Your older and very nice brother you tossed out the window like trash!)
P.s. I really hate your guts. (Or should I say, gutz? Idk.)