Title: The Stars Will Cry (complete)
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: This is not a very happy fic. Read at your own discretion.
Word Count: 4500+ total
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Summary: When all hope is lost, how strong can love be? In the end, in spite of everything, love may not conquer all.
A/N: This is a series of drabbles, so it would be preferable to read this in order. It takes place directly after CoD and goes on until the end of the war. I had a very hard time writing this fic in particular (having gone through many edits and reworkings of the plot), and I'm a bit nervous. For the Shuffle Challenge at the community katarazuko at LJ.
The Stars Will Cry
one. Open Your Eyes – Snow Patrol
Night had fallen all around them in a deafening silence broken only by the crackling of the fire. She huddled closer to the flames with a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders, but a bitter cold continued to bite relentlessly through her skin, her flesh, freezing the core of her very bones. A violent shiver wracked her body, but it wasn't even a cold night.
Toph and Sokka were nearby, fast asleep, but she was unable to join them. She had never been so terrified in her life until today, and her nerves still thrummed anxiously from the aftershocks. Her body was exhausted beyond belief and her muscles screamed in protest whenever she tried to move, but her mind was alert, trapped in a constant state of alarm.
Her eyes locked on Aang's peacefully sleeping form, his chest rising and falling with each deep breath, and her heart suddenly felt painfully constricted. She had thought that she had lost him, and that had nearly scared her to death. The water from the oasis had saved him, but how much he would recover was still uncertain. Had Aang died in those caves… Katara shook her head, refusing to let her thoughts venture there. The Avatar, the savior of the world, was alive and safe for now, and that was all that mattered.
She stared into the fire, her vivid blue eyes watching the hypnotic dance of the flames, twisting in the air and extending their arms into the heavens, reaching higher and higher only to fall back down again as if nothing had happened, and again, swaying in tune with the rhythm of the wind. The fire played shadows across her face, contouring the ridges and valleys of her features, bathing her in melancholy. She was reminded of him.
Everything seemed surreal, but perhaps it was only because she had been disillusioned, succumbing without a thought to foolish optimism, wishing so much to be able to believe him. And so, she had willingly believed that he had changed, that he had finally understood what was really important and could finally distinguish between right and wrong. She had been sorely disappointed.
Honor. She wanted to scoff.
Some see determination and perseverance as good qualities, but when this single-mindedness was applied to him, she wanted to scream. When will he ever learn? When will he see? How can a person walk through life, so blind to the truth and reality?
Maybe he wanted to believe the lies; so enticing as their empty promises dangled before him but just outside his reach. The truth was an ugly thing, hidden behind the exquisite veil of lies, but not quite indiscernible. However, he chose not to look more closely, desperate to believe the beautiful, irresistible lies. Then, perhaps, the two of them shared something else in common.
She had had high hopes for him, but they had all been shattered. He was nothing more than an immature boy, blindly hanging on to the last tenuous thread of hope with everything he had. She wanted to help him, to take his hand and guide him outside of his own meticulously constructed prison of illusions until he saw the light, the world, and the real, tangible promises it held. She wanted him to open his eyes and see, but she knew she couldn't.
two. Somewhere I Belong – Linkin Park
He staggered through the dense forest, his legs barely supporting him as he fought his way through the underbrush. His fingers clutched anything he could find tightly, keeping him on his feet, but he was so weak, so weak. A breathless groan escaped from his parched lips as he willed his protesting muscles forward. He swayed on his feet, feeling nauseous and lightheaded. However, he only hoped that his gaping wounds would not leave a bloody trail in his wake for them to find.
Suddenly, a twig snapped in front of him and the bushes stirred. He stopped dead in his tracks, his heart pounding ferociously against his ribcage. He grasped the tree branch so tightly in his fist that his knuckles turned white, and he sharpened his senses, anticipating an ambush.
Yet, the ambush never came.
Instead, a long, dark brown braid swung into view, quickly followed by the full emergence of a girl in blue, her eyes scanning the ground around her. It was only when she saw his boots that she jumped back in alarm, stifling a scream with her hand and dropping the stack of wood that she held in her arms.
"Zuko!" she hissed when she recovered herself.
His sight was becoming increasingly unfocused, and he swayed slightly again but did not respond. He was sure that if he opened his mouth, what was left of his meager breakfast would spill out.
"What happened?" she asked anxiously. "Are you all right?"
Of course I'm not, you stupid peasant! He wanted to scream but kept his mouth clamped firmly shut.
When he swayed dangerously this time, he could feel his grip on the tree branch loosening as he tilted forward involuntarily, stars exploding before his eyes.
A pair of arms caught him with a grunt in mid-fall, and he felt himself being laid gently on the ground, or as gently as was possible. The last thing he saw before his vision faded to black was her bright blue eyes brimming with concern and a hand encased by glowing water.
When he woke and his eyes focused, he almost wished that he was still unconscious. Two pairs of eyes glowered down at him as if the owners would want nothing more than to tear him limb by limb. And he thought with resignation, perhaps he deserved nothing better.
"The jerk's awake," spat Sokka.
He heard footsteps approaching and a pair of much more sympathetic eyes looked at him.
"How are you feeling?" asked Katara gently, almost uncertainly.
Now that she mentioned it, he was feeling considerably better than before, and he said so. He was rewarded with a wide smile.
"Good," she said, still beaming. "I was afraid I might have missed something."
"Who cares if you missed something?" said Sokka, annoyed. "We still don't know why he's here! For all we know, this could be a trap!"
"Sokka's got a point, you know," said Aang more calmly. "I mean, the second part. This could be a trap."
"I don't think so," said Katara firmly.
"Well, let's ask him some questions then!" said Sokka, glaring at the Prince of the Fire Nation. "What are you doing here and where did you get all those wounds?"
Zuko sniffed contemptuously. "I don't need to tell you anything, peasant."
"Zuko," Katara warned, her eyes narrowed slightly. "If you don't cooperate with us, we won't help you at all."
"Yeah," agreed Sokka. "We might even leave you here to fend for yourself. You never know what kinds of creatures lurk in these parts."
"Sokka!" she reprimanded before turning back to Zuko. "We're giving you a chance to tell us what happened. You shouldn't waste it."
He hesitated and released a long sigh. "I left."
"What do you mean you 'left'?" asked Aang.
"I couldn't take it anymore, so I left," he answered simply, not meeting anyone's eyes.
There was a long silence in which Sokka fumed, Aang looked annoyed, and Katara just watched him curiously.
"Was it Azula?" she finally whispered softly.
He closed his eyes, and before he could stop them, the images flashed past behind his eyelids. Azula and his father had both been livid at his most recent failure. In her fit of rage, she had blasted him with a powerful stroke of lightning, barely missing his heart and almost paralyzing him. He had been subsequently thrown unceremoniously into the dungeons, deep underground.
You're a worthless, pathetic excuse for a prince! Her voice seemed to be shouting in his ears, echoing, hammering in his skull.
His escape had been detected by the guards, and when he had reached the outer walls of the palace, the guards had begun to fire, shooting arrows tipped with fire. Mai had even sent daggers flying after him, though perhaps with a little less effort than usual. Firebenders had thrown fireballs at him, and those who wielded swords had also tried to stop his progress outside of Ba Sing Se. The injuries he had sustained were debilitating, but at the time, he had only been functioning on instinct and the adrenaline that pumped through his bloodstream.
I want him back, dead or alive! Azula's voice screeched in his ear again.
He had only lost his pursuers when he had sprinted blindly into the forest.
When he reopened his eyes, he saw Katara's features soft with compassion and understanding, as if she could read his thoughts, as if she could see that he had once again become a fugitive.
That night, he had been given a spot on the outer edges of the campsite, but he could still hear the four friends whispering amongst themselves. Sokka remained resolute that Zuko was up to no good, but Toph and Aang were beginning to think, to wonder about other possibilities. Only Katara was defending him.
When she came to check on the state of his wounds, he had to ask her.
"Why?"
"Because I saw you, the real you, in the crystal caves," she said without hesitation. "Because I know that you're a complicated person. I have faith in you, Zuko."
He said nothing in response, but a semblance of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
Perhaps there was hope after all.
three. The Secret's in the Telling – Dashboard Confessional
Months passed, and Zuko's presence in their traveling group had been generally accepted and even welcomed to some extent because the most efficient way for Aang to master Firebending was through Zuko.
As time ticked by, Zuko and Katara could not deny that there was an unspoken understanding between them, and they were becoming closer with each day. Neither could say when the first hints of something more were felt, but it was always the little things. They would sometimes steal furtive glances at each other, blush when they brushed against each other, and even Toph complained about the speed of their heartbeats when they were near each other. However, it was the little thoughtful actions that seemed to speak the loudest. No words could express the extent of her appreciation when he carried her firewood for her without a word when the pile in her arms had become too heavy and unmanageable. No words could express the feelings that were bursting through his chest when she quietly rubbed an ointment on a ghastly rash that had developed around his collar and no one wanted to be near him.
But there had been and continued to be more important things in their lives that required attention.
Now, the culmination of everyone's hard work in the war was about to occur. The Avatar had been successful in forming a powerful army against the Fire Nation comprised of warriors from each nation. The Resistance had turned out to be particularly strong, and they had surrounded the Fire Nation capital, waiting for night to fall, when the Firebenders would be at their weakest. The fall of the Fire Nation capital would be the final stroke in the hundred years' war, and the world seemed to teeter on edge. A victory in the impending battle would end the war, but a loss would perhaps weaken the Fire Nation but would drag on this war that everyone was already weary of fighting. For everyone's sake, this battle would be decisive and quick. The last thing the Resistance needed was for Sozin's comet to streak across the sky.
It was a restless day for almost everyone, and Zuko and Katara were no exception.
"Are you scared, Zuko?" asked Katara quietly, hugging her knees to her chest as she watched the prince, who was sprawled over his sleeping bag.
For a long moment, he did not answer, and the heavy silence hung thickly in their tent.
"Aren't we all?" he finally whispered, almost inaudibly.
"I suppose," she acquiesced, nodding once. "I just… I just can't believe that we're going to be in a battle tomorrow morning. It still seems so… unreal. For so long now, the only people I've really fought against were Azula, Mai, and Ty Lee… and you. It's going to be so different out there, facing entire armies. What if…"
"You're a master Waterbender," he cut in matter-of-factly. "It won't be much different."
"It will be," she said resolutely. "We'll have you on our side. Who knows, maybe all that anger you have will come out and really help us!" She grinned at him.
He did not smile, and his face remained impassive. Slowly, her own smile faded.
"You know," he began, "I never thought my life would turn out this way. I never thought that I would find acceptance among you. I thought it was my destiny to be alone, the banished prince, my exile and shame forever marked for the world to see."
Absentmindedly, his fingertips brushed over the scar on his face.
"I used to wonder what I had done to deserve that," he murmured. "But it was always Uncle—"
He swallowed and fell silent, shutting his eyes.
"What happened to your uncle was not you fault, Zuko," she said, approaching him and reaching for his hand.
Suddenly, his gold eyes snapped open, and he jumped up, wrenching his hand away. "Yes it WAS!" he shouted, greatly startling her. "If I hadn't betrayed him, if only I had listened, he would still be ALIVE!"
Unshed tears brimmed in his eyes, and he seethed, shaking with each unsteady breath.
"It's all my fault!" he said, his voice pained and tortured. "Don't pretend otherwise! If I hadn't been so stupid…!"
"Zuko!" She had also stood up, her cheeks tinged pink with anger. "It's just this kind of thing that makes you so, so… argh!"
She began pacing up and down in the tent, and his narrowed eyes followed her movements.
"You're impossible!" she said exasperatedly. "When are you going to stop wallowing in your self-pity and realize that some things can't be changed? No wonder you're always so angry! You bring everything, all your problems, unto yourself, and what do you expect others to do? You claim that your uncle's gone because you didn't listen to him, but you haven't changed a bit! You still don't listen to a word anyone says, and you're always so convinced that you're right and no one understands you!"
She now stood still before him, looking up into his eyes intensely.
"Stop it, Zuko," she said more calmly. "Make your uncle proud, and be the person I know you can be."
For what seemed to be hours, neither moved. Then, suddenly, his lips pressed down on hers into a tentative, awkward kiss. She flinched in shock, but once she recovered, she found herself wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him down closer and deepening the kiss. Both were breathless when they finally broke apart.
"Why, Zuko?" she asked quietly even though her heart was ready to burst from her ambivalent, bittersweet emotions.
He shrugged, looking extremely uncomfortable.
"It's our last chance," he answered simply, without meeting her questioning gaze.
"It may be our last night, our last hope," she added, understanding.
When they came together this time, neither knew who had initiated the kiss, but when they sank into each other's embrace, the kiss became desperate as they fought for dominance, for their last shred of hope, and for the future. All rational thought fled their minds as they drowned themselves in sensations. Tears slid down her face, and they broke apart as a sob escaped from her lips.
"Don't you dare die on me tonight, Zuko!" she demanded, tears glistening on her face. "Promise me. Promise me that you won't get yourself killed out there!"
"You know I can't promise anything like that!" he replied in alarm.
"Damn it, Zuko!" she said, giving his shoulders a slight shake. "Just promise me!"
Lie if you have to, she thought desperately.
"I—I…" He couldn't, he couldn't. "I promise, Katara." His voice sounded strained.
Her sobs quieted significantly, and she smiled lightly. "Thank you," she murmured.
To her surprise, his fingers found hers in a gesture of comfort, and she squeezed his hand tightly before leaning against him, feeling his arm wrap around her waist.
The air was cooling outside, giving the first hints of the advent of dusk, but they remained inside their tents, surrounded by the silent and unpresumptuous warmth that emanated from their bodies and the unspoken love that crackled like electricity between them. Their hearts pounded a steady, synchronized rhythm, and they knew that this secret would be taken with them to their graves.
The last light of the day retreated from the small fissures in the opening of their tent, and its dreamlike glow was replaced by dark shadows. Both moved to leave, but he grabbed her arm, opening his mouth, but his words were swallowed by a feverish kiss.
She gave him one last smile, one last lingering, longing look, before disappearing through the crack in the tent, feeling strangely as if a gaping hole had formed in the darkest chamber of her heart.
four. Dare You to Move – Switchfoot
They were running toward the palace, with Zuko in the lead, Aang closely following at his heels, and Katara and Toph bringing up the rear. Sokka darted to and fro. The group left a slew of wounded in their wake, but they had no time to bear them any mind as they trudged up the stairs. A small regiment from the Resistance had moved to blockade the advancing Fire Nation guards that had been following the group closely. More guards emerged from the palace, rushing down the steps to attempt to forestall the group's progress, fire erupting from their hands, but they couldn't stop. When they finally broke free from the melee, they saw three lone figures standing coolly above them, on the porch before the enormous door to the palace.
Panting, they made their way to the top, but there was no time to rest. Azula's smirk told them as much as she moved to her fighting stance.
Katara saw Zuko falter, but a determined look crossed his face.
"I'll try to hold them off, but get the Avatar inside!" he shouted to the rest of his group.
Aang, Sokka, and Toph were already struggling their way through Mai and Ty Lee, but Katara hesitated, yearning to join them, but also feeling sick at the thought of having to leave Zuko behind, where he wouldn't stand a chance!
"Zuko—" she began but was quickly interrupted.
"Go with them!" he yelled impatiently. "It's time we face our destinies!"
Lightning spewed from Azula's fingers, crackling ominously, but he dodged just in time, rolling over to the side. He quickly got back unto his feet, but Azula was one step ahead, lightning glinting on the tips of her fingers. Just in time, a whip of water slashed through the air and knocked Azula off her feet.
"Go, Katara!" he said urgently as fire glowed in his hands. He looked frightening and murderous.
Aang and the others had already entered the palace, followed relentlessly by Mai and Ty Lee.
"Don't order me around, Zuko!" she snapped, her water whip breaking Azula's lightning bolt in half.
"Listen!" he said, his voice infused with anxiety. "Go to your friends; they need you!"
"NO!" she shouted defiantly. "I'm not leaving you here by yourself!"
He looked ready to cry in frustration, but it was Azula's cold, derisive voice that spoke.
"How sweet. Zuzu's got himself a girlfriend."
Zuko charged, but suddenly, an ear-splitting scream sounded from inside the palace, and Katara froze, her heart pounding furiously in her ears. She and Zuko exchanged a brief glance.
"GO!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.
She hesitated again, but finally, she ran to the door, toward the source of the scream but not before glancing at him one last time. She did not even realize that tears were flowing freely down her cheeks. It was only much later that she saw him, falling, falling…
She knelt down in the ashes of what was left of the crowning glory of the Fire Nation and faced its prince.
Dawn was fully upon them now, and the sky was tainted with crimson and gold, the brilliant shards of light piercing through the black smoke that rose into the steadily warming air.
Weary cheers were heard in the distance, across the bloodied fields of grass, littered with blackened bodies. The Resistance had won; Ozai and the Fire Nation had been stopped. It was all over. That alone was cause for celebration, but Katara couldn't and wouldn't join them as she watched him, spread-eagled on what was left of the lawn, looking more peaceful than she had ever seen him.
"Zuko," she mouthed shakily, tracing a finger along the contours of his face.
He did not stir.
"Please…" she whispered, grabbing his cold hand in her own.
He's only asleep. Only asleep.
But her violent sobs shook her entire body.
"You promised!" she shouted bitterly at him. "You promised!"
Her fists beat against his chest vainly; however, she refused to believe the futility of her actions. He couldn't be… he couldn't…
"This isn't funny," she choked out. "Stop it, Zuko! If you don't stop it right now, I'll never forgive you!"
Her head dropped onto his chest hopelessly.
"I'll never forgive you," she repeated weakly, knowing that it made them both liars.
She couldn't help but wonder about what could have been between them, what kind of man he could have become. He would have made a fine Fire Lord.
"Wake up. Wake up! Don't you dare do this to me!" she bellowed hoarsely. "I hate you! I hate you, Zuko!"
She could hear footsteps by her side, but she didn't look up, her face now hidden in her hands. The newcomer plopped down beside her.
A steady hand was placed unto her shoulder reassuringly, and she felt herself being pulled into a silent hug. She fell into the embrace willingly, sobbing into her brother's shirt as he rubbed her back in smooth circles until she quieted.
If only she had stayed with him. If only she had not listened. If only she had told him that she loved him. If only she could pretend that today had never happened. If only.
five. Anthem of Our Dying Day – Story of the Year
A violent tempest poured down from the black skies, washing away the ashes, the blood, the sins. The Fire Nation rarely saw storms like these, but the cleaning and purging of filth was long overdue. The catharsis was far from refreshing, however. It was painful, and it had come at a terrible cost.
Katara stood on the rocky beach, her bare feet sinking into the soggy sand as she watched the waves crash on the jagged rocks, spitting salty foam with each collision. Her simple gown was soaked through, and her skin was cold and clammy, but she barely felt the chill, numbed to the core.
The war that had been fought for a hundred years had finally come to a close. The end had been very fast once it began, but now the Fire Nation needed to be reconstructed in these times of unstable peace. Another war could very well break out, and she was convinced that the world would not be able to handle another since this one had already ravaged the resources of the world and the energy of its people.
The celebrations had continued after nearly a week, but they were preceded by a memorial. Attending that memorial proved to be the hardest thing she had ever done, for it had reopened all of her wounds. She had had to force herself to sit through his funeral, where he had been hailed as a hero, and her heart had nearly burst with pride and sorrow.
Aang had insisted that his ashes be scattered in the sea, and the symbolism had not been lost on Katara, and she wondered if he had known all along.
Now whenever she looked at the sea, she was not only reminded of her home but also of him, and she thought someday, someday…
She had been informed about the details of his death, how bravely he had fought. When she and her friends had been in the palace, he was locked in a duel with Azula. She had heard that when Azula hit him with a bolt of lightning, he had fallen off the edge of the elevated porch into the tumult of warriors and soldiers below but not before taking his sister down with him. The palace had been constructed on the slope of a mountain, and the fall had been long. He had been killed on impact while Azula had died much more gruesomely, impaled on a soldier's spear.
Suddenly, hatred surged in her chest. She hated the Fire Nation, for what it represented, for what it had done to her, to Zuko, to the thousands of innocent people in the world, and all because of a few greedy men. Her hands fisted tightly, and her nails dug into her palm. Oh how she wished she could bend all this water from the sea and make it drown this noxious island and erase it from the face of the planet! But her anger and hatred left as suddenly as it came, leaving her feeling very exhausted.
The rain continued to pelt down, and she closed her eyes.
She missed him already.
"Katara," said a voice nervously behind her.
"Hi Aang," she said, forcing a smile.
He held out a small package, wrapped delicately in silk. "I think this belongs to you now," said Aang. "He… gave it to me for… safekeeping."
"He did?" she asked, incredulous.
Aang shifted uncomfortably.
"Okay, fine," he said sheepishly after a pause. "I found it. I went into his tent after you two left, and… I wanted to know what you guys were doing, and I found this in his things."
"That's stealing, Aang," she said patiently, but taking the small package anyway.
He flushed, looking nervous.
"Sorry, Katara," he said. "I didn't want him to—Well, I wanted to ask him about it, but…"
"It's all right," she said. "It doesn't really matter anymore."
Aang looked visibly relieved.
"Come inside soon, all right?" he said, full of concern. "I don't want you getting sick."
"I will, thank you," she said, and Aang left her alone.
When she opened the package and saw its contents, she felt an icy coldness sweep down her body, and she stumbled back a few steps. Her breathing was uneven, and her hand shook forcefully, nearly dropping the object. Her heart seemed to squeeze excruciatingly, and her eyes welled with moisture. She sat down on the sand, her lips pressed tightly together in defiance as she willed her tears back.
The purple ribbon floated delicately in the wind, and attached to it was a pendant with elegant red and blue carvings.
End.
A/N: Please review!