TITLE: The Pathology Of Po
AUTHOR: Lex
EMAIL: lex@bitchenvy.com
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: All Witchblade characters belong to someone other than
me. This work is not-for-profit fanfiction, and no infringement is
intended.
SYNOPSIS: A day in the life of Vicky Po.
THANKS TO: Lynn and Connie for listening to me ramble, naming fic,
and threatening bodily harm.
=================================================
Things I Have To Do Today:
1. Catch the bastard who keeps replacing the eyeballs of the
unclaimed cadavers with donut holes. This is a) desecration of the
dead and b) a waste of baked goods.
2. Autopsy the three new DBs brought in this AM. Two are white
males, late twenties, early thirties, and one black male, same age
range. All three are extremely muscular, with black dragons tattooed
on their right forearms. Apparent causes of death are, respectively,
gunshot, crossbow bolt (!) and death by giant rock.
3. Make Jake McCartey suffer. He is an asshole, and the next time he
comes in here with his "I need some information, wench" attitude, I'm
going to shove a scalpel up his ass. Was he raised in a fucking barn
or what? Must be all that hair gel affecting his brain.
4. Buy a 'thinking of you' card for Pez. She seems really down
lately, and I cannot stand by and allow that to happen. Andy
(dickhead) keeps calling me to talk about her. Like I want to discuss
her with that fucking cro-mag! Buy a clue, pal, she's not interested.
5. Post betaed fic to the ScullySlash list. I like the way this one
turned out, I think it really showcases my love of Scully, as well as
my forensic knowledge.
6. Buy a new carton of smokes. I know I should quit, but it's either
the smokes or the bourbon, and I've yet to accidentally stitch myself
to a cadaver under the influence of the smokes.
7. Buy cat litter before I have to declare my apartment a biohazard.
Nothing says "won't you come in?" to potential dates like the stench
of overflowing cat boxes.
8. Call mother to turn down her *generous* offer to set me up with
the undertaker she met at Cousin Selma's wake. I know, I know, we
both work with the dead, but I'd just as soon mingle with the living
more often, you know? Besides, if I smell any more formaldehyde, I
might go insane.
9. Call shrink about weird deja-vu that keeps happening. It's been
constant for about a week now, and it's starting to freak me out. I
mean, I know I'm boring, but come on, I haven't lived this whole week
before!!!
10. Stop by Pez' apartment on way home. (?) I don't want to
intrude, but it's really bothering me that she hasn't even come down
to see me in the past few days. Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Not
even a "Hey,Vic, can you tell me what year this incredibly rare piece
of metal was forged?" Danny mentioned that she was acting weird, and
even Asshole McCartey seems worried. This cannot be a good thing.
THE END
AUTHOR: Lex
EMAIL: lex@bitchenvy.com
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: All Witchblade characters belong to someone other than
me. This work is not-for-profit fanfiction, and no infringement is
intended.
SYNOPSIS: A day in the life of Vicky Po.
THANKS TO: Lynn and Connie for listening to me ramble, naming fic,
and threatening bodily harm.
=================================================
Things I Have To Do Today:
1. Catch the bastard who keeps replacing the eyeballs of the
unclaimed cadavers with donut holes. This is a) desecration of the
dead and b) a waste of baked goods.
2. Autopsy the three new DBs brought in this AM. Two are white
males, late twenties, early thirties, and one black male, same age
range. All three are extremely muscular, with black dragons tattooed
on their right forearms. Apparent causes of death are, respectively,
gunshot, crossbow bolt (!) and death by giant rock.
3. Make Jake McCartey suffer. He is an asshole, and the next time he
comes in here with his "I need some information, wench" attitude, I'm
going to shove a scalpel up his ass. Was he raised in a fucking barn
or what? Must be all that hair gel affecting his brain.
4. Buy a 'thinking of you' card for Pez. She seems really down
lately, and I cannot stand by and allow that to happen. Andy
(dickhead) keeps calling me to talk about her. Like I want to discuss
her with that fucking cro-mag! Buy a clue, pal, she's not interested.
5. Post betaed fic to the ScullySlash list. I like the way this one
turned out, I think it really showcases my love of Scully, as well as
my forensic knowledge.
6. Buy a new carton of smokes. I know I should quit, but it's either
the smokes or the bourbon, and I've yet to accidentally stitch myself
to a cadaver under the influence of the smokes.
7. Buy cat litter before I have to declare my apartment a biohazard.
Nothing says "won't you come in?" to potential dates like the stench
of overflowing cat boxes.
8. Call mother to turn down her *generous* offer to set me up with
the undertaker she met at Cousin Selma's wake. I know, I know, we
both work with the dead, but I'd just as soon mingle with the living
more often, you know? Besides, if I smell any more formaldehyde, I
might go insane.
9. Call shrink about weird deja-vu that keeps happening. It's been
constant for about a week now, and it's starting to freak me out. I
mean, I know I'm boring, but come on, I haven't lived this whole week
before!!!
10. Stop by Pez' apartment on way home. (?) I don't want to
intrude, but it's really bothering me that she hasn't even come down
to see me in the past few days. Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Not
even a "Hey,Vic, can you tell me what year this incredibly rare piece
of metal was forged?" Danny mentioned that she was acting weird, and
even Asshole McCartey seems worried. This cannot be a good thing.
THE END