A/N: I'm definitely liking the Female Kaname x Zero pairing:3 I am still going to update Her Selfish Desires. I just got this idea from talking to one of my friends on DA. I decided to go for it after I got enough inspiration to write it:) Before you read this story, you should know this:
Kaname didn't let Shizuka out of her cage, so she isn't the cause of Zero's hatred for vampires. This takes place after Rido is killed by Zero and Yuki. Yuki thinks of Zero as a brother, while Zero does for Yuki. Zero only has feelings for Kaname, due to her showing him kindness (Like Kaname did to Yuki, and Yuki did to Zero in the canon plot). However Zero is conflicted with himself, due to her status as a pureblood, his enemy. Ai is Kaname and Zero's daughter in this, though I am well aware she is Kaname and Yuki's daughter in the canon plot (since I finish the manga, and patiently waiting for the next special chapter). However, in this she will be Kaname and Zero's daughter. This is kind of following the manga a bit, but it's mostly AU. There will be timeskips here, and there. This is a short story.
Now that you know, hope you enjoy. Also the title of the story is from a song by Daithi de Nogla (Loved that man!). Credit goes to him!
Story Contains : Bad Grammar and Spelling, Timeskips, Flashbacks, AU, Female Kaname, Swearing, Possible OOC (Out of Character ), Manga Spoilers (For those that only watch the anime), Angst, Lemons, Tsundere Hunter, Hurt and Comfort, Romance, Drama, Dark Past, Family feels, etc.
Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight or it's characters. That all belongs to the lovely Matsuri Hino-sama.
-Chapter 1: Two Years Later... -
Kuran Mansion - Kaname
Kaname tapped her fingers silently on the table, listening to the Aristocrats talk during this meeting. She wasn't there physically, due to her familiar ability. She is able to create a part of herself to be there, and allow herself to remain in her family manor once more. There is a down side effect to it. It takes a lot of energy out of her. She does this for occasions such as this.
She's been doing this for about two years.
Two years have passed, since the vampire council, the Senate, been eliminated. Without a council to govern their species, their only options are the Purebloods to lead them. Which she unfortunately has to take the position. Most of her kind is asleep. While others are curious on what the Kurans are going to do.
After all, this is all her doing. If she hadn't destroy the Senate. The situation wouldn't be this bad, but it was for the greater good. With this, she can finally set things right with the vampires as well with the humans. Like she should have done many years ago. However... she cannot take the position just yet. Not in the condition she is in.
"After everything that you've done... I still desire only your blood... Kaname."
Kaname flinch, feeling her hunger come back from the memory. She ignored it yet again, and tried to focus on the meeting.
Ever since that day two years ago, she's been suffering from this never ending hunger. It causes her to swallow bottles after bottles of blood tablets. Once in awhile, she would take blood from her sister, who is worried about her nonstop. Kaname knows why she is suffering from this. To put it bluntly. She is pregnant.
That's right.
She, Kaname Kuran, is pregnant with a child.
Only a few people know about her condition. Yuki, when she accidentally attack her during her first trimester. Seiren was told by her along with Hanabusa, Ruka, and Akatsuki. They prove themselves enough to where she can trust them with this information.
Other than that, it's still a secret. She intends to keep it that way as long as she could. Without a doubt, her child will be desire, or even targeted by vampires that seek out vengeance, or want the blood of the purest Pureblood in existence. Not to mention her pregnancy leaves her in such a vulnerable state.
It takes vampires for about two to five years to give birth. She doesn't even know when she will give birth. It could be an only matter of time before she does. And she hates not knowing, and having a control in this annoying state she is in.
A child was never what she expected. She never thought it would happened, but it did. All because of that day two years ago. If only she was careful, but yet again she allowed her personal feelings come before her goal...
Two Years Ago - Kaname
Kaname continue to stare at him. Watching him with a stoic eyes, but yet underneath the cold mask she is trying to hold on in front of him. Her heart clench in undeniable pain.
She knew it was going to come this.
She knew the moment she awaken Yuki, and Rido's death that this day would come.
She knew, but yet she never thought the pain would hurt this much.
Kaname walk towards the window in room, completely ignoring the gun he's aiming at her. She stares outside as she watch her fellow Night Class members leaving the grounds. Far across, Hanabusa and Ruka are fighting over who will carry Yuki's luggage. This is really the end of this school life she live.
"... Now that Rido is gone, and my chains are now free. I will take Yuki away from Cross Academy. She will be safe with me, and will learn how to handle her new life as a Pureblood once again." Kaname stated in a matter of fact tone.
Keep it simple. She had to. This was it. There is no going back, what they had together is gone. It's meant to be this way.
She turn to face him again. His cold lavender eyes piercing deeply at her. Many emotions swirling all through those orbs, and all of them she knows far too well. After all, she was one of the most closest people that is dear to him. It is quite ironic, since a few moments ago he claim to kill all Purebloods and yet he cares for one very deeply.
She continue on to speak to him. "There you will have a purpose to continue to live in the hell you're in." A cold hard truth, but this is the path they now both walk on.
Kaname walks towards the door, and stops in front of it. She holds the doorknob in her hand, thinking about what to say next. So many things she want to say, but cannot. Will not. For her sake, and his.
This has to end.
"Though I wonder... the next time we meet. Will you be able to pull that trigger on us. On me, Zero..."
She was about to turn the handle, and go out. Until Zero presses his hand on the door to make it shut. He trapped her between the door, and his body. She could feel the end of his gun pressing into her back. She wasn't surprise at that. It seem like him to do such a thing.
It made her eyes soften. As she tries to keep her usual appearance. Kaname cannot deny her true feelings. It's going to be a cruel, and painful life to live without him. And she won't deny that if he ended her life here, and now. She will be okay with that.
"... Was this all part of your plan?" Zero asked her in a harsh tone. Kaname didn't say anything. She knew he was referring about their relationship. She felt his gun press more into her back, due to her lack of response. "To have me at that palm of your hands, and play whenever you want like all you Purebloods do."
"..."
"Is that why you made me stay in Day Class, because you knew I would protect Yuki? That I wouldn't allow her to get hurt by vampires!" His voice raising as more doubt, and assumption rumble in his mind.
"..."
"I wonder if what you felt was all a lie." Zero hissed, digging his gun in her back more, and more. He was angry, and had every right to be. There are some truth to what he says, but most of it is not all what he thinks it is.
Kaname takes a deep breath. Just this once. She will allow herself to have this moment. Only once, and then no more.
"... Yes." She says as she lets go of the doorknob, and leans her head on the door.
He deserves at least some truth... Not all.
"I plan on Yuki living as a human, and you in the Day Class would make sure she would live the life she deserved... but Rido left me no choice, but to awaken her in the life my parents and I try to keep her from. I told myself that I would use my life to make Yuki a human, should she ever be awaken once again, but... now I don't want to. "
Kaname turn around to face him, having the gun now pressing on her chest. She stares up at him with a stern expression, but yet with those gentle eyes that she know he loves from her. While his eyes were filled hurt, and anger. She smiled softly, "You... was something that shouldn't have happen, but it did... Your very existence has become... a hindrance to my goal."
Zero's eyes narrow down. "And what is your goal?"
Kaname merely chuckle softly. "That would be reveal in another time... but know this, Zero... I never intended to have you dragged into all of this, nor having you to feel for me. It was all unintentional along with my feelings for you..."
She looked away from him. She didn't necessary like showing this side of herself to him, because it makes her feel all the more expose to him. To get close to someone again, and the fear of losing that person will become even greater for her to bear once more.
Yet, she cannot help to ache for him as he does for her.
"Selfish just like a Pureblood... I claim to want Yuki to be happy, but yet I don't want to use my own life to give her that happiness." She lightly joke. Zero didn't say anything. It wasn't like she expected him to. Kaname look towards the window, and could sense that Yuki is nearly done with getting all of her luggage. "...I must be going now. Yuki needs-"
Kaname stops what she was saying when Zero put his gun away, and lean down towards her neck. She close her mouth shut. Obviously, talk isn't what he wants any more. He wanted something else. Something that only she can do for him.
She tilt her head to the side to give him more access without saying a word, or hesitating. For some reason it only made him more agitated, because he suddenly grabbed her hands and slammed them against the door. His fangs instantly dove deep into her neck, causing her to gasp out a bit from the force of it.
Most likely he is annoyed at her ability to not show much as emotions as he is doing right now, or maybe he wanted her to confirm what he claim was true. Not tell him that she actually cares about him. He wanted his claims to be true. To make the pain inside both of their hearts much easier to bear.
Kaname close her eyes as he drinks her blood. Even if Zero doesn't believe her. She can show him in her blood that her feelings for him are true what she said moments ago.
"Ah..."
She felt him press into her more as he drank hungrily. Eventually he pulled away, causing Kaname to breathe slightly heavily from losing a sum amount of blood.
His head still leaning by her neck. Her skin shudder by his hot breath that hits it every few seconds. "After everything that you've done... despite knowing what kind of a woman you are." Zero laugh softly, he brushes the strands of her hair away from her neck to reveal more of her skin. "I still desire only your blood... Kaname."
She didn't deny him after that. How could she? Hearing him confess that he still felt the same way about her, despite everything. It made her unleash her forbidden feelings she has for him. Thus leaving them in a heat of pure, and raw passion that almost lasted a few hours.
Both of them knew they must go their separate ways soon enough, but those few hours is all they needed, and wanted. That was the last time she ever has saw Zero Kiryuu. The vampire hunter that wants to kill her, and the man that she loves.
Once again, she is thrown in the pit of darkness after their separation.
Kuran Mansion - Kaname
The meeting didn't last very long. It was mostly preparation for a soiree that all the noble vampires are attending in a few months. They asked her to attend along with her sister. She didn't give them her official answer. All she said is will see. After it was over, she quickly devour blood tablets. Not wanting Yuki to see her in this state again. She doesn't want her sister to offer her blood to her. No matter how much she craves from a living person.
"I almost forgot how monstrous we can be." Kaname wipe the artificial blood from the corner of her lips.
A mere human would be instantly drain due to this double thirst. The young Pureblood stare down at her bulging stomach, and felt a light smile appear on her face as she felt a kick. Even so if what happened was a mistake. She cannot deny that she loves, and will cherish this child she will soon bear.
"Kaname-sama." She turn to see Seiren bow before her. The Pureblood gesture her to stand, which she did. "I apologies for my intrusion, but Lord Aido is here to see you. He mention something about a proposal you should think about-"
"And I told him to not ask such nonsense to Kaname-sama!" Hanabusa appear behind Seiren. Kaname frown at him as she sit up in her seat. Even though she may trust him enough, she would wish he would wait for his turn. Hanabusa tried his best to remain his posture, and bow before her. "Forgive me for not asking to come in here, but I tried to tell my father you will not agree to such a thing."
Kaname press her head on the palm of her hand as she lean in her seat. Curious, she asked him. "Oh? And who is this person Lord Aido recommended to me?"
"That would be Hanabusa, Kaname-sama." Ruka walk into the room with papers. The reports on the mission she sent her on a few days ago. Ruka sigh as she press her hand on her face. "I feel pity for his father. If only he realize how much of an idiot and disgrace his son would be to make as a husband for Kaname-sama."
"Oh like you're a much better option!" Hanabusa spatted back. "At least I am qualify to be a partner for her!" He poked at her admiration, and crush for Kaname. The pureblood is aware of these two feelings towards her, but sadly she does not feel the same way.
Ruka's eyes widen in surprise. "What?! Do you think you're capable of being the perfect husband for her?! As if! You're worse as-"
"Enough." Kaname raised her voice, causing the two of them to be silent. She turn towards Ruka. "Set the reports on my desk, and get Akatsuki. There is another thing I would like you both to do."
Ruka nodded. "Yes, Kaname-sama." She walk over to her desk, and set the reports down. She smirk at Hanabusa. "At least she doesn't punish me as much as she does to you." She says before leaving the room.
Kaname turned her attention to Hanabusa, causing him to jump from her sharp stare. "Aido, tell your father I have to sadly decline the offer, and I shall speak to him on another day." She said as Hanabusa nodded before hurrying out of the room.
Kaname lean in her chair, and rubbed her face as she summon a familiar of herself. One that is obviously not pregnant. She wouldn't want Nagamichi, Lord Aido, question her on who the father. She is not sure if she should trust him with information.
She knows Hanabusa would do a poor job of telling his father what he told. So she better go help him, or do it herself.
"I can never get used to you doing that, Onee-sama." Kaname turned to see Yuki walking into the room with her latest textbook. Kaname waved her familiar, and Seiren out of the room. Yuki sits down in a chair that is near her. "You're going to have to teach me how to do that, because I don't think Aido-senpai is able to."
Kaname smirk, "Of course, but first you must bring up your grades." She said as she watch Yuki laugh softly knowing full well that she knows she is failing, despite Hanabusa's constant tutors. "I apologies for having you locked in here like a bird in a cage, but... it seems we still have enemies that want to harm our family due to the Senate's downfall."
"I understand." Kaname frown at her, making Yuki laugh. "Honestly, Onee-sama. I am okay. Aido-senpai, and Ruka-senpai been helping me catch up on my classes, and I've been writing letters to Yori... but..."
"You will see her soon. I assure you. For now you must continue to lay low-" Kaname flinch as she felt the hunger come again. She tried to ignore the worried look on her sister's face. She reach for the blood tablets, and ate a few tablets before Yuki said something. "I'm fine."
Yuki didn't buy it. She set her book on the side of her, and press her hands on her lap. "Onee-sama... Don't you think it's time to tell Zero-"
"No."
"But he deserves to know-"
"Yuki. No."
"..."
Kaname sighs, she didn't mean to raise her voice at her, but this isn't the first time she had ask her this. Yuki is well aware of her sister's past relationship she had with the hunter. After all, she was their main supporter, and still is. "Kiryuu has been busy with the Hunter Association, and will be the next new president."
"Yes, but Zero wouldn't-"
"He has declared to end all Purebloods. You mustn't forget on that day he nearly shot the two of us. If it wasn't for Cross, and his master to stop him." She said sternly, reminding Yuki of the hatred Zero has towards their kind.
Yuki's eyes lower at that. "Yeah... but I know Zero. If he knew you were pregnant with his child. He wouldn't be working every day, and night as a vampire hunter. He should be here, right by your side, Onee-sama." She declared. She didn't want her to suffer in this intense hunger by herself, and not drinking from the one you love is even more crueler than death itself. "I don't want you to continue to suffer... for me, or for anyone..."
Kaname smiled softly, her sister always has her way with words. She presses her hand on her stomach. Feeling the light kick below the palm of her hand. "There is a thin line between friendship, and rivalry. Hatred, and love... For Zero there will always be that line that separates the two..."
Cross Academy - Zero
"As the next president, you must consider-"
"No." He replied as the headmaster follow him down the hallway in his dorm. All of the students are in class, and right now he is secretly wishing for them to not be. Anything to get his adopted father away from him. He already answer his question, but he seem determined that he would change his mind.
Kaien frown, "You're not thinking this through clearly... They will help us. The vampires are growing more relentless, and without the Senate to bring order. There has to be a new leader for them to follow. Someone to guide them." He stated.
Which was true. More people are being killed, or going missing. Meaning more vampires for him to kill, which he doesn't mind. It all helps ease everything that he doesn't want to deal with.
"Someone like her as our ally could help-"
"No! I will not-" Zero takes a deep breath to calm himself down. He control his anger, and try not to raise his voice again. After a mere mention of her name, he always gets like this. Never. He will never have anything to do with that woman again. "I will not associate with Kuran, especially a Pureblood vampire."
Zero walks away, but Kaien grabs his arm to prevent him. "I understand that you are still mad at her, and perhaps even at Yuki as well. But Zero." Kaien tighten his grip, his eyes lower as he spoke to his adopted son. "If you allow this hatred for vampires continue. It will consume you. Do you think Yuki, or Kaname would want to see you like this?"
An image of Yuki flash in his mind. Her smile, and annoyed expression whenever he teases her makes him miss his adopted sister dearly. However, when the image of Kaname appear in his mind. The hunger he tried to burrow deep within him began to come back, reminding him what he is, and what he is no longer could be due to her kind. Even so, his strong desire to pierce her white neck is still there. It's sickening, and revolting that she still has a hold on him after so long.
Zero jerk his arm out of Kaien's hold. "They made their choice as I made mine. I will not change my decision. This is path I will walk until the day all of those monsters are gone." He said as he walk away from him. Leaving the headmaster in a baffle state. He didn't care. He should know by now he will never change his decision.
"If you keep frowning like that. You will scare everyone away, and you say Purebloods are frightening. I beg differ with a face like that."
Zero gripped his throat as he felt his hunger return. He kept walking, and ignore it once more. "No..."
"Kuran? You earned the right to call me Kaname... Unless you're afraid to disrespect a Pureblood... Kiryuu."
"Shut up..."
"I think you may be more possessive than me. You better be careful. A vampire hunter having a Pureblood as a lover is look down upon. Then again... you never were the type to listen."
"I said shut up!" He slam his hand into the wall on the right side of him, causing it to crack beneath his fist. Zero grabbed the package of blood tablet from his pocket, and swallow them down. He didn't know how many. He didn't care. He needs to tame the beast within, and seal her away once more. "Now... begone."
The images of her went away. Zero takes a deep breath, and slowly steady his heartbeat that is beating fast. He didn't even notice someone was walking behind him, who is none other than Kaito. He was too focus on making sure she will no longer return his mind once again.
Sealing that dark desire he feels for the Pureblood away.
"Honestly, if you're going to have a temper tantrum. Go do it outside... You're 19 years old. Act like it, Mr. President." Zero turned to look back at Kaito. He was holding a book in his hand, while the other papers. Most likely from his students.
Zero frown at his friend, and former partner. "Shut up. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in class." Zero stated in a harsh tone.
Kaito shrugged. "Well it seems your father wanted it to end early, and by the way. Congratulation on the promotion." He said in a sarcastic voice as he patted Zero on the shoulder, which he brush off in a few seconds. "I guess Cross must be truly desperate to have a moody punk to be the next leader for Hunter Association, or he must be a complete moron to think a person like you is suitable for the job. Both seems to fit it to me."
Zero scoff, "What do you want? I know you're not here to congratulate me."
Kaito look around to make sure they're alone. He pulls out a piece of paper from his pocket, and hands it to Zero. "It seems a few of our best hunters, including you, are needed to watch a vampire soree that is being held to decide for the next vampire leader. Lucky you, you're going to be surrounded by many vampires, including Purebloods. Dream come true."
Zero rolled his eyes. He put the paper in his pocket. "Whatever, we can't kill any of them unless they harm someone at the party."
"Well, I didn't think you would start to actually follow the rules."
"Shut up." Zero walks away from Kaito, and heads down the hallway straight to his room.
"... You should also know." Kaito call out to him from down the hallway loudly. Zero stop in his tracks to look back at Kaito. With his vampire hearing, he could hear voices behind Kaito. Signaling that the male Day students are in the building, and coming to where they are. "She will be there."
Zero didn't say anything. He merely smirk, and walks away from him.
Kaito sigh, and rub the back of his head. "Kaname Kuran as the new vampire leader, and Zero Kiryuu as the new president of the Hunter Association... This isn't going to end very well."
A/N: Ren (Zero and Yuki's son from the canon plot) might be in this, and will be Zero and Kaname's son. Haven't decided yet, but for now it's just Ai. Hopefully I didn't make Kaname too OOC. Kaname's personality is hard for me to write. I won't lie XD
Anyways, I hope you enjoy this. Please leave a comment. I love to know what you guys think, and gives me motivation to update faster:)