Requested by: sunsetoizer, fuckboykaspbrak, & streddiesworld (on Tumblr)
Ben and Bill stood up front, one taking off Richie's glasses while the other put a blindfold on Eddie.
"Why did we come to this again?" Mike questions jokingly
"I'm not sure." Beverly answers
"Alright guys, the first one to make it to the alter and say their vows wins." Ben explains
Bill nods to Ben and the two make their way to their seats as Beverly tells the two boys "Go." And they start off, stumbling around, tripping, falling, and bumping into things. Their both extend their arms out, trying to feel for objects in front of them.
Eddie begins to walk around in circles in the opposite end of the church from where the alter is.
"Am I there yet?" Eddie calls
"Not even close" His friends chorus in unison
Meanwhile, Richie stumbles into one of the rows, managing to trip over his grandmother's feet.
"i'M GONNA WIN YOU FUCKING LOSER" Richie exclaims in a cocky manor
"IF I LOSE THIS WEDDING IS CANCELLED" Eddie exclaims
Ben takes out a camera from his pocket and turns it on, beginning to record the entire ordeal.
"They really were made for each other" Ben comments
"You're telling me." Beverly replies with a playful eyeroll
Richie manages to wander out of the building as Eddie walks into a wall. He stumbles around the garden, tripping over bushes and flowers.
Richie was growing more impatient and antsy as time went on, and he eventually decided to just start his vows.
"Okay, fuck it- EDWARD KASPBRAK YOU ARE-" Richie trips over a bush "THE LIGHT OF MY- OW- THE LIGHT IF MY FUCKING LIFE- JESUS CHRIST- WAS THAT A FUCKING DOG- YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO ME-"
He was speaking so loud that the wedding attendees could hear him inside. Eddie stomps his foot after standing back up from walking into another wall.
"tHAT'S NOT FAIR YOU ASSHOLE-"
He does his best to weasel his way through the crowd after stumbling into it, people move away as he passes them, but that doesn't stop him from tripping over Richie's grandmothers feet, just as Richie did earlier. The losers club stands up to follow him as he bursts out the door that Richie had left through. Soon enough, everyone including the priest had wandered outside with the two boys. Richie had continued saying his vows, which prompted Eddie to join in, both eager to wind the competition.
Somehow though, Richie was almost done with his vows, Eddie knew it, Richie knew it, the losers club knew it, and the couples joint families knew it. Suddenly, as Richie was about to walk into another tree, Eddie tackles him to the ground, Richie letting out a screech in reply. Eddie pulls up his blindfold and looks around.
"Ow- what the fuck Eds? Thats cheating!" Richie complains "Tackling is cheating!"
"Richie we're outside." Eddie suddenly says
"Oh and now you're lifting the blindfold too, huh?" Richie raises and eyebrow
"You're dumb." Eddie tells him
"No you." Richie argues
Eddie leans down and kisses Richie, who blindly fumbles to wrap his arms around the shorter boys neck. Richie's mom waves the priest over to them and Bill hurries over to give Richie his glasses.
"Do you, Eddie Kaspbrak, take Richie Toizer to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
"I do," Eddie replies
"And do you Richie-"
"I do," Richie sharply interrupts
"Well, you may now kiss the groom and be joined in holy matrimony." The priest finishes
Everyone cheers as they share another kiss