Disclaimer: This is a transformative work of fiction loosely based on Eric Kripke's original creation. Definitely no profit being made here.
A/N: Spoilers for all of Season 5. Just to be safe. Begins at the very end of 5.21.
Gambler's Choice
Dean just stared at Bobby for a moment, and suddenly, it all made sense.
"You're right, Bobby. Sam is so much more than we've been giving him credit for. He's always been the smart one, and I've always been the stubborn one. I guess it's really time I learned to listen to him. And learned to accept what our roles were meant to be."
Bobby reached out and grasped Dean's forearm. He squeezed it gently, waiting for Dean to truly accept the inevitable. He had faith that it might take Dean some time to process it, but he also knew that the time had come to put their best foot forward. They were out of options and couldn't afford to keep hiding their heads in the sand. Dean stood up.
"I've got to talk to Sam. We don't have a lot of time to put this plan in motion…."
Dean found Sam right where he expected to – in Bobby's office, researching, making sure his plan was the best it could be, putting the pieces together as only Sam could.
"Sammy?" Dean was a little hesitant to have this conversation.
"Yeah, Dean," Sam immediately set aside what he was doing and gave his brother his undivided attention.
"Um… Bobby and I were talking… and… well… the thing of it is…." Dean was having a hard time articulating everything he wanted to say to his brother.
"It's ok, Dean. I mean. I understand that you and Bobby have your doubts, and I told you, I won't do anything unless we're all agreed. That hasn't changed." Sam's eyes softened as he took in his brother's ragged appearance. The entire apocalypse had changed his brother so much. And when he'd returned from Chicago, he'd obviously been shaken.
"No, Sam. Things have changed. I don't have any doubts. I know that your plan is our only hope. The only hope for the entire world. I'm just sorry that it had to be you. I'm sorry that this whole mess is entirely my fault."
"What? Dean… No… I mean, I was the one who let Lucifer out…" Sam interrupted.
"No. Sam. That wasn't your fault. None of this is your fault. I'm the one who was so hard on you growing up. I never took your side – I just tried to be Dad's good little soldier. I mean… I just didn't know how to do anything else… but it was wrong. I never should have let him push you away… cut you off… leave you unprotected. If I hadn't done that, Brady couldn't have gotten close to you. If I hadn't dragged you away from Stanford, Jess would still be alive. If I hadn't kept Dad's secret, you would have figured out what Yellow Eyes was up to before you were killed. If I hadn't dragged you from Heaven when you died because I was just too scared to be alone – I was weak and couldn't see what the consequences would be…. THAT's what truly started all this…. My weakness," Dean couldn't look his brother in the face.
"No," Sam protested softly.
"It's true. You know it. I know it. I mean I know I'm not the sharpest tack in the box, but even I've been able to work this out. I sold my soul and then was too weak to resist Alastair. I opened the first seal. That's all on me…."
"But I let Ruby manipulate me into releasing Lucifer."
"But Ruby never would have been able to manipulate you if I hadn't left you alone when you needed me most. And you were an addict, Sam – that's not something you can just disregard. You weren't in control… it wasn't you," Dean paused for breath.
"But I released Lucifer…"
"Because I pushed you away. I didn't support you the way I should have. I said exactly the same bullshit to you that I let Dad say and I left you exposed. I think the angels brought me back because they knew I'd let you down, knew that they could use me to get to you. I'm supposed to have your back, Sam, and all I've done is let you down. And it's been no different since I came back from Hell. I mean, I know I wasn't perfect before I went to Hell, but now, I'm not even sure what I'm good for. I pushed you away, when I shouldn't have – I let you go off on your own. Hell, I made you do it. I know you're smarter than I am. And you're a better hunter, stronger now too. I'm sorry, Sam. I haven't had your back. But I want to try to do better. If you'll let me. You point the way, and I'll follow."
Sam swallowed. He wasn't even sure what to say. He'd waited so long for his brother to have faith in him.
"Dean," Sam said quietly, "Where I'm going? You can't follow this time. I need your faith in me in order to succeed – so for that, I'm more thankful than you'll ever know – but I have to do this by myself. On my terms. On my own two feet. But you can't follow."
The brothers could only stare at each other. Dean slowly realized that his brother was right, had likely always been right, and he had just been too blind to see. Now his vision clouded with tears.
"I'm sorry Sam. It's always the same, isn't it? I'm too little, too late. You deserve better…."
"No, Dean. Don't say that," Sam reached out and grasped his brother's shoulder. "Having your faith is truly all I need."
And in that moment, Dean finally believed. Sam would be the one. The one to save the world.
A/N: Just for the record? I don't believe a word of what's written here… but I think that Sera Gamble does…I'm just exorcising some personal demons… and asking - does this really equate with the Dean Winchester we've come to know? Have I been completely deluding myself?