Tamaki: Oh Haruhi, Daddy's here!
[In Tamaki's mind theater:
Haruhi: Oh Tamaki! *runs into Tamaki's arms*
Tamaki: Oh Haruhi.
Haruhi: I'm in Love Love!]
Tamaki: *turns red with happiness*
Haruhi: Tamaki-sempai… I thought I said to lay off the instant coffee for a while.
Tamaki: *innocent* I did… *excited* Did you know there are these things called energy drinks? They're right by the commoner's coffee!
Haruhi: -_-# How many did you have?
Tamaki: *thinks* I… can't… remember. 12 maybe… *thinks again*
Haruhi: *sigh* You're restricted from energy drinks now too. Not that you'll want them after you crash.
Tamaki: But Haruhi! I like them! *suddenly the child in the relationship*
Haruhi: We'll see in a couple of hours.
~2 hours pass~
Tamaki: *In corner of woe* Uugghh…
Haruhi: What did I tell you? *secretly laughing*
Tamaki: Don't yell at your father!
Haruhi: I'm not yelling at you sempai… AND YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!
[Tamaki has flown across the room due to the gale that is Haruhi]
Tamaki: NOW HARUHI, YOU LISTEN TO DADDY! I WANT YOU TO START DRESSING LIKE YOU USED TO! *holds up a picture of Haruhi in a dress*
Haruhi: How I dress has nothing to do with you being my "daddy"… AND YOU SHOULDN'T BLOW UP SOMEONE'S PICTURE WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION!
[While Haruhi isn't paying attention:]
Hikaru: Hey Boss,
Kaoru: We have a new game.
Hikaru: The see who can get Haruhi into a dress first game!
Tamaki: That is a sick, twisted game.
Kyouya: The winner can have these. *holds up pictures of Haruhi in a bathing suit*
Tamaki: O_O *his soul leaves his body* HARUHI! I got this dress for you!
Haruhi: *fire appears in her eyes* I'm not wearing the dress.
Tamaki: T_T Haruhi's mad at me!
Hikaru: Hey Haruhi,
Kaoru: Our mother could use some help.
Hikaru: She's making a new dress to compliment a girl with a flat chest
Kaoru: And she needs a model.
Haruhi: There are plenty of girls who have flat chests in this story, I'm sure. AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING FLAT CHESTED?
Kyouya: Haruhi, I'll cut 1/3 of your debt if you wear a dress.
Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki: *gasp!*
Haruhi: . . . Can I have fancy tuna too?
Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki: *look at Kyouya*
Kyouya: *shrug* Why not?
Haruhi: Hmmmm… alright.
Hikaru, Kaoru, and Tamaki: O_O
Kyouya: You have 24 hours.
Haruhi: … 24 hours to what?
Kyouya: Put on a dress.
Haruhi: What if I don't have one?
Tamaki: Here's one Haruhi! *holds up a dress he's wanted her to wear for ever*
Haruhi: *looks at the dress* Kaoru, you said your mom was making a dress?
Kaoru: Yeah, but it won't be ready to wear,
Hikaru: For another two days.
Tamaki: *brimming with happiness*
Haruhi: *sigh* Does the dress really mean that much to you?
Tamaki: *nods* Mmmhmmm
Haruhi: I do really want fancy tuna…
Tamaki: *nods* Mmmhmmm!
Haruhi: …If you stop looking like a begging puppy, then fine.
Tamaki: YAY!! *gives Haruhi the dress and pushes her to changing room* *grabs his camera*
Haruhi* Now…how do I get this thing on… *ends up tearing the dress* Oops…
Tamaki: Come out Haruhi, let Daddy see how pretty you look!
Haruhi: *sweating* Uhh…just a second!
Hikaru: Is there a problem?
Kaoru: I bet she ripped the dress.
Hikaru: We can fix it Haruhi.
Kaoru: Our mom is a designer.
Haruhi: NO!! Don't come in here!
Tamaki: *at the same time* NO! Daddy forbids it!
Hikaru and Kaoru: *shrug* We were just going to help.
Kyouya: I guess she won't get any fancy tuna.
Honey: Poor Haru-chan!
Haruhi: Well… I guess I could open the curtain a little bit. The tear is only in the back…
Tamaki: NOOOOO! Haruhi must not show her back to ruffians! It is inappropriate for a lady to be exposed in front of boys! Especially those shady twins!
Haruhi: Aren't YOU a boy?
Tamaki: *stammers*
Hikaru: Wow…she got you, Boss.
Kaoru: What to say now?
Tamaki: B-but I am your father! It's different.
Haruhi: No…it's not.
Hikaru: The just doesn't want anyone else to see.
Kaoru: You nasty pervert.
Tamaki: I AM NOT A PERVERT!!! . Mommy! Tell them I'm not a pervert!
Kyouya: Well…you could have stopped the game, but you wanted those pictures of Haruhi in a bathing suit so…
Hikaru: That is true.
Kaoru: and you were the first to try and win.
Tamaki: I'M PROTECTING MY LITTLE GIRL'S INNOCENCE! THOSE *points to Hikaru and Kaoru* DOPPELGANGERS ARE THE PERVERTS!!
Haruhi: The only ones who aren't perverted are Mori-sempai and Honey-sempai.
Honey: *giggles*
Mori: …
Renge: *comes up on her rig* Maybe I can help!! I've always wanted to see Haruhi cosplay as a girl!
Tamaki: Yes! Go! *pushes Renge in with sewing stuffs*
Haruhi: *crashing sounds* Hey! Don't do that! I don't think my arm is supposed to bend that way! Ow!
Renge: All done! He's so CUTE as a girl!
Tamaki: *gets his camera ready*
[All hold breath]
Haruhi: Fine, by the way, I think I look ridiculous. *opens curtains* Umm…why is that dog running toward Tamaki?
Tamaki: *not paying attention* Oh my gosh! You look so pretty! *snapping pictures rapidly* Daddy's so proud of you!
[The dog runs at Tamaki who falls, sending the camera flying into a cup of tea]
Tamaki: MY CAMERA! ALL THE PICTURES OF MY HARUHI!!!!!!!
Haruhi: *laughs* Ah well. At least I get my fancy tuna. *continues laughing*
Tamaki: *crying*
Kyouya: Well, I guess that means I win.
Tamaki: NO!!
Kyouya: I got her in the dress didn't I?
Tamaki: B-b-but it was MY dress.
Haruhi: *just to mix up trouble* Renge was the one who fixed the dress.
Kyouya: So we should split them three ways?
Haruhi: *thinks* Somehow I'm surprised the twins didn't find a way of bending the rules and winning.
Hikaru: Hey!
Kaoru: If you're going to split it like that,
Hikaru: It was our idea,
Kaoru: In the first place!
Haruhi: *mutters* I knew it.
Honey: Me and Takashi ate cake!
Kyouya: So that's it then, we all get one.
Renge: Oooooooooh! Haruhi with his shirt off! YAY!! _
Haruhi: Wait… my shirt off? WHAT KIND OF PICTURES ARE THESE?
Kyouya: Let me just go get them from my desk.
Haruhi: What!?!?! NO!
Kyouya: *starts off to his desk*
Tamaki: *sees Haruhi's distress* Have no fear, Haruhi! I shall save you! *flies towards the desk* *grabs the pictures and runs from the room* YOU SHADY TWINS WILL NEVER SEE MY HARUHI IN A BATHING SUIT! *trips on random banana peel and pictures land in a coincidentally placed fireplace* NO!!
Hikaru and Kaoru: Now you've done it, Boss.
Kaoru: Those pictures were valuble!
Hikaru: Way to go, Boss.
Renge: You stupid, idiotic, phony prince! I wanted to see my love in a bathing suit!
[insulting arrows pierce Tamaki's body]
Tamaki: I…NOOOO!!!
Haruhi: I still get my tuna…right?
Kyouya: Well, what do WE get out of it now? All the pictures are gone.
Haruhi:…Honey can give you cake! *hopefully desperate*
Kyouya: Nope.
Haruhi: *sigh* What about having 1/3 of my debt being forgiven?
Kyouya: If I would give you anything it'd be tuna.
Haruhi: bigger sigh* Fine.