How to Road Trip (According To Schroeder), a peanuts fanfic

How to Road Trip (According To Schroeder)

A Peanuts Fanfiction by LivingOnLaughs

Chapter 1

Getting There

"Snoopy, are we there yet?" Sally Brown complained, kicking the white beagle's seat.

"Five more hours if this hold up keeps up, guys" Snoopy thought.

"Sally, we haven't even left the state yet, more less the highway" Linus reminded the girl who called him a Sweet Babboo. Traffic was chaotic.

"Aughh!" cried the blonde girl.

"Chuck, I'm bored" Peppermint Patty barked.

"Well try to hold out, Patty" Charlie Brown suggested.

"Schroeder, when will we get married?" questioned Lucy.

"In the year 2099" the blonde boy sarcastically answered, getting some laughter out of the kids.

"Chuck, do you know HOW boring this road trip is?" the tomboy asked.

"How boring?" some of the kids asked.

"It's so boring, it put Warren Peace to sleep while he wrote Leo's Toy store," joked Peppermint Patty; as expected, she was the only one laughing.

"Not funny, Patricia" groaned Lucy Van Pelt.

"Sorry, Lucille" the freckled tomboy replied. "But look" she explained, pointing to Franklin and Marcie, both in a deep sleep.

"Well we've got to wake at least one of them" Charlie Brown added. "And I'm not going to risk getting my lights knocked out when we reach Needles either"

Schroeder turned towards Lucy. "Hey guys, who wants to sing road songs?" he asked.

"We're not Karen Carpenter!" shouted Lucy.

"I'm in" Peppermint Patty announced.

"Sure thing" added Linus.

"Ditto" Charlie Brown agreed.

"I'll begin" explained Schroeder.

"Beethoven did road songs?!" questioned Snoopy in alarm.

Schroeder: Do ya need a break from modern livin'?

Do ya long to shed your weary load?

If your nerves are raw

And your brain is fried

Just grab a friend and take a ride

Together upon the open road

"C'mon, guys! It's fun!" he exclaimed.

Lucy: All in all, I'd rather have detention

All in all, I'd rather eat a toad

"Yuck!" squirmed Pigpen.

Violet: And the beagle drives like such a klutz

Patty Swanson: That I'm about to hurl my guts

Violet and Patty Swanson: Directly upon the road

Schroeder: There's nothin' can upset me

'Cause now we're on our way

Our trusty map will guide us straight and true

Charlie Brown/Peppermint Patty: Heather dear/Zacky dear, please don't forget me

I will return someday

Though I may be in traction when I do

Schroeder: Me and friends relaxin' like the old days

Lucy: This is worse than dragon breath and acne

Schroeder: In a buddy-buddy kind of mode

Lucy: I'm so mad

Patty Swanson: I think I may explode

Schroeder: When I see that highway, I could cry

Peppermint Patty: Ya know, that's funny

Patty Swanson: So could I

Patty Swanson, Lucy and Schroeder: Just bein' out on the open road

Frieda pulled out a cowboy's hat from the trunk and put it on. "Now WHAT?" questioned Charlie Brown.

Frieda: Howdy, boys

Is this the way to Nashville?

Other driver: Watch it, Mac!

Or you'll be gettin' towed

Prisoner: I'm in no hurry to arrive

'Cause I'll be turnin' sixty-five

The next time I see the open road

Frieda: Just a week of rest and relaxation

Sally: Yeah!

Violet: And the odd romantic episodes

Peppermint Patty: Very odd!

Sally: It's Californ-eye-ay or bust

Pigpen: Look out, you dirtbags

Eat my dust

*Snoopy howls* Schroeder translates: From now on, I own the open road!

Peppermint Patty: Just me and best friend, Marcie

My pipsqueak pioneer

Charlie Brown sighed. "She's not THAT small" he explained.

Passer-byers: Their car ventures forever westward ho

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: Yeehaw!

Violet: Could someone call a taxi

And get me outta here

To Beverly Hills 9-0-2-1-0

Schroeder: Every day another new adventure

Peppermint Patty: Every mile another new zip code

Linus, Rerun and Lucy: And the cares we had are gone for good

Violet and Patty Swanson: And I'd go with them if I could

Charlie Brown: I've got no strings on me

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: And we can all agree

How wonderful to be

On the open road!

Patty Swanson hurled over by the car window. "Someone pull over and maybe open the window…I'm gonna throw up" she explained.

"How about another song?" Schroeder asked.

"THIS time I'M choosing!" the freckled tomboy exclaimed.

"Please choose something to last us five hours" Sally requested.

"Certainly" Peppermint Patty replied.

(To the tune of B-I-N-G-O, when you see this *, clap)

Peppermint Patty: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

S-N-O-O-P-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

Lucy was furious. "That dumb ol dog-" she began.

Linus: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

*-N-O-O-P-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

"I'M NOT SINGING THAT SONG!" shouted Violet in annoyance.

Frieda: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

*-*-O-O-P-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

Charlie Brown smiled, tapping his feet on the car floor merrily.

Schroeder: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

*-*-*-*-P-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

Sally: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

*-*-* *-*-Y

And Snoopy is the driver

"We're in full swing now!" Charlie Brown exclaimed eagerly.

Charlie Brown: We're on the road, in one packed car and Snoopy is the driver!

(Six Claps)

And Snoopy is the driver

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: And Snoopy is the drive-er

"Great song, Peppermint Patty" praised the blonde haired boy as Snoopy nodded his head in agreement.

"Well I know a really good one" Lucy insisted.

"Go right ahead, Lucy" the freckled girl sighed, nudging Franklin a little with her elbow.

Lucy: On the road again

Charlie Brown: I just can't wait to get on the road again

Schroeder: The life I love is makin' music with my friends

Linus: And I can't wait to get on the road again

Rerun: On the road again

Violet: Goin' places that I've never been

Patty Swanson: Seein' things that I may never see again

Lucy: And I can't wait to get on the road again

Schroeder: Here we go, on the road again

Pigpen: Like a band of Gypsies we go down the highway

Peppermint Patty: We're the best of friends

Charlie Brown: Insisting that the world keep turnin' our way

Shermy: And our way is on the road again

Lucy: I just can't wait to get on the road again

Schroeder: The life I love is makin' music with my friends

Charlie Brown and Sally; Linus, Lucy and Rerun: And I can't wait to get on the road again, break free

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: And I can't wait to get on the road again

Patty sighed. "Great song, gang" she praised.

"I agree" Charlie Brown nodded his head.

"Chuck, you kinda like me, don't you?" the freckled girl asked.

"Well…" he began.

Linus sighed as Sally nuzzled closer to him. "It's gonna be a long five hours" he sighed, sucking his thumb happily.

"It's also gonna be a bumpy ride" complained Violet.

"That reminds me and Linus of a song" Sally squealed.

"Then sing it, Johny Cash" teased Lucy.

Linus: I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

Sally: It's gonna be a bumpy ride

Charlie Brown: I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

Peppermint Patty: It's gonna be a bumpy ride

Shermy: I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

Patty Swanson: It's gonna be a bumpy ride

Violet: I'm gonna pull you over, pull you under

Pigpen: Make your body surrender to mine

Schroeder: Girl you can make me suffer, do whatever

Lucy: Cause I know you're one of a kind

Charlie Brown: Tell me who can love you, nobody

Linus: Hold you, nobody

Sally: Make your body wind, like me

Shermy: You will never find someone like me

Peppermint Patty: Who can love you, nobody

Charlie Brown: Hold you,

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock, Snoopy and Charlie Brown: nobody

Patty Swanson: Make your body wind, like me

Shermy: You will never find someone like me

I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

Patty Swanson: It's gonna be a bumpy ride

Rerun: I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

Lucy could only sigh. "It's gonna be a bumpy ride" she groaned.

Charlie Brown: Imma spin you around, push your buttons

Peppermint Patty: Buy you plenty of stuff

Lucy: Then I'll take you down, to the bottom

Schroeder: Work you all the way to the top

All the kids but Franklin, Marcie, Woodstock and Snoopy: Tell me who can love you, nobody

Hold you, nobody

Make your body wind, like me

You will never find someone like me

Who can love you, nobody

Hold you, nobody

Make your body wind, like me

You will never find someone like me

I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

Its gonna be a bumpy ride

I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

It's gonna be a bumpy ride

I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

It's gonna be a bumpy ride

On top of my love gain and you're gonna get it tonight

I'm focused I'm ready girl I'm gonna give it to you right

I' gonna pull you over, pull you under

Make your body surrender to mine

Girl you can make me suffer, do whatever

Cause I know you're one of a kind

I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

It's gonna be a bumpy ride

I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

It's gonna be a bumpy ride

I wanna boom bang bang with your body yo

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo

It's gonna be a bumpy ride

"Best. Song. EVER!" screamed Peppermint Patty.

"I know, right?" added Charlie Brown.

"Agreed" Lucy smiled.

"Back to Beethoven" announced Schroeder.

"Can't we have ONE MORE song, Schroeder?" questioned the fussbudget.

"Fine" sighed her blonde boyfriend. "What's it gonna be?" he asked the kids.

"What's going on exactly?" questioned Franklin.

"Road songs" Schroeder obviously stated.

"Did we wake you two?" asked Charlie Brown, blushing in humiliation. "Were we too loud?" he added, feeling ashamed if they were.

"No…I woke up after you guys started singing that last song, I just kept my mouth shut and began sight-seeing," he explained. "As for Marcie, she's probably still sleeping…PROBABLY"

"Well, how about you choose the song?" Lucy asked.

"I'd be glad to" smiled the African-American boy, handing Snoopy some earplugs.

"What're these for?" questioned Snoopy.

"Hey Schroe, my man, nice choice of song" Franklin smiled.

"Wow, thanks…usually I partake in Beethoven" the blonde musician smiled.

Franklin smiled at the thought. "So, who wants to hear a song?" he asked, looking out at the sky to see a setting sun.

"We do!" cheered the kids.

"Okay then" the curly haired boy replied.

Franklin: Once there was a way,

To get back homeward.

Charlie Brown: Once there was a way

To get back home.

Linus *to Sally*: Sleep, pretty darling,

Dot not cry

And I will sing a lullaby.

Lucy, Linus, Charlie Brown, Shermy and Violet: Golden slumbers,

Fill your eyes

Smiles await you when you rise

Sleep pretty darling

Do not cry

And I will sing a lullaby.

Franklin: Once there was a way

To get back homeward

Schroeder: Once there was *yawn* a way

To get back home

Lucy *to Schroeder*: Sleep, pretty darling

Do not cry

Franklin: And I will sing a lullaby.

Charlie Brown yawned a little. "Franklin that was a beautiful suggestion" he praised.

"Don't worry, Charlie Brown, we'll be at our destination soon" his friend responded. "Besides, you guys need the sleep" he added.

"Well we're everything but *yawn* tired!" denied Peppermint Patty.

Lucy nodded her head in agreement. "In fact, I have a song to sing" she added.

"You do?!" the kids who haven't nodded off yet asked.

Lucy nodded her head again. "Yeah, you blockheads"

Lucy: Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes

And save these questions for another day

I think I know what you've been asking me

I think you know what I've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you

Then you should always know

Wherever you may go, no matter where you are

I never will be far away

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep

And still so many things I want to say

Remember all the songs you sang for me

When we went sailing on an emerald bay

And like a boat out on the ocean

I'm rocking you to sleep

The water's dark and deep, inside this ancient heart

You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream

And dream how wonderful our life will be

Someday our child may cry, and if you sing this lullaby

Then in your heart there will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone

But lullabies go on and on

They never die

That's how you and I will be

"Zzzzz" snored her yellow-haired boyfriend.

"Isn't that just cute, Charlie Brown?" asked Lucy.

"It sure is, Lucy" smiled the lovable loser as Peppermint Patty used his shoulder as her pillow, snoring like mad.

"We'll be at the airport soon" Franklin reminded the kids.

Snoopy sighed. "I'll need a world famous disguise if I'm gonna join them" he told himself.