Wow. Apologies in advance for all the weirdness…It's in order of the movie…so far.

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, people would already be singing my version of the Nightmare Before Christmas…which I also do not own.

When Gai suggested having a Christmas musical that year, there was not a single person who wasn't thinking 'Nightmare Before Christmas." But then Gai wrangled himself the title of director. Lee was ecstatic, of course, and offered to be the stage manager - thank god Kakashi stepped in at that point.

The auditions were to be held four hours, one minute and thirty-seven seconds later. By some miracle, people appeared in the village in that time who wouldn't have made it in a week otherwise. (Cause that's the way this story works.) The Sand Sibs were there, and it seemed all of Konoha was trying out. Also, shady figures in the background were seen, most likely the missing-nin we all know and love…but we hate Orochimaru. (A/N: nothing personal. He's so cute when he's younger! But not now.)

Gai made a short, sweet, simple, understated speech before the auditions began…yeah, right!

"This musical will be the toast of the town! It will ignite the flame of passion in everyone who sees it! It will invoke tears and laughter and cheers! If you think you are good enough to create a fusion of music, dance, and acting that will burn in the hearts of anyone who is lucky enough to cherish it, you may audition now!" There was some half-hearted clapping and Lee gave his sensei a standing ovation, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"First up, we have about half of Konoha, singing 'This is Halloween.'" Gai looked up to see all the people crammed onto the small stage. Neji stepped forward (cuz he's cool like that) and addressed the panel of experts - Gai, Kakashi and, um, Kurenai. And all the jounin, except for Asuma, who was outside smoking.

"Actually, we've modified the song. It's much better this way." Suddenly, everyone trying out started to panic, and wrote out their own lyrics, not wanting to be one-upped. The Konoha citizens started their song.

Boy and girls of every age

Would you like to see something strange?

Come with us and you will see

Giant faces on distant peaks

This is Konoha, this is Konoha

The strongest shinobi village

This is Konoha, gotta love the hot spring spas! (A/N: RANDOM…but there seems to be a lot)

Time and again, Orochimaru tries his best to pillage

It's our town

Everyone believes

In this Village, the Hidden Leaf

(Teuchi)

I am the man who runs Ichiraku

My daughter and I make better ramen than you!

(Iruka)

I am a teacher at the Academy

I teach young kids to be shinobi

This is Konoha, this is Konoha

Konoha! Konoha! Konoha! Konoha!

In this town we call home

Everyone hails Hokage (she's strong!)

In this town, don't we love it now?

Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

Round corners, shinobi hide where you can't see

They're all waiting to pounce, ambush and

Yeah, this is Konoha

Red from blood we fight voila! (A/N: also random…)

We always win!

And that's just fine

Say it once, say it twice,

No matter how you toss the dice

Konoha comes up on top

Everyone agrees, everyone believes

In our Village of Hidden Leaf

(Hiashi Hyuuga)

We are the great and noble Hyuuga clan

We reign supreme with our Byakugan

(Hinata)

I think you sound a little pretentious

We Hyuuga's aren't really so vicious

(Neji)

With some training that will be fixed

Your weak will and timidity will be nixed

This is Konoha, this is Konoha

Konoha[x6

Genin, listen everywhere

The Chuunin Exams are quite the scare

If you live, what does that mean?

You may never become chuunin

In this town, don't we love it now?

All the great ninja come from Konoha

We'll kick your sorry butt all the way down the block

This is Hidden Leaf, everyone cheer

Won't you please make way for our honoured Hokage

Tsunade is racking up quite a debt

Probably not good for economy

But whatever, this is Konoha

Konoha[x4

In this town, we call home

Wills of fire blaze undone

(La lala lalala…)

Gai wiped tears from his eyes and proudly proclaimed this, 'the best audition yet!' Kakashi, with his trademark bored look, mumbled something about it being the first audition. But no one listened to him, since his mask muffled his voice.

Kurenai rubbed her temples, the off-key singing (especially from Shizune, who was not being Tsunade's lapdog) and waved her hand for the next audition.

"'Jack's Lament', sung by…"

Everyone went all quiet when they saw Itachi Uchiha step onto the stage. Sasuke may or may not have been there, but he was being polite and civil to his brother, and letting him sing in his beautiful tenor voice.

Itachi glared at the panel, Sharingan activated…until people complained that he could make the judges think he was singing well, which was an unfair advantage. So Itachi, being a polite and civil mass murderer, shut off his eyes.

"I have also changed the words…so you may understand what I felt before the sudden, regrettable assassination of my clan… may they rest in peace." A few eyes twitched.

There are few who deny

At what I do I am the best

For my talents are renowned far and wide

When it come to using weapons and a perfect aim

I excel without ever even trying

With the slightest little effort

Of my illusionary charms

I have seen great shinobi give a shriek

With a wave of my hand

You're ensnared in my mind

I can sweep the very strongest off their feet

Yet year after year, it's the same old cheer

And I grow so weary of Father's ideas

That I, Itachi, the prodigy

Should become ANBU like everyone thinks

Oh, somewhere deep behind my red eyes

An emptiness and rage survive

There's something out there, across the sky

A reason that I am alive

I'm master of Sharingan, and a jounin foregone

And I'll trap you in my genjutsu

To: a guy who wants me dead, turn back, don't risk your head

'Cause you know I will easily beat you

And since I'm Uchiha, I can kind of bend the law

'Cause my dad thinks he can fix me up for good

But what can he do, he hasn't got a clue

What strength I really have, is that understood?

But who here would ever understand

That the genius boy, Uchiha pride and joy

Does tire of his life, if they only understood

He'd give it all up, if he only could

Oh there's an empty place in my heart

That calls for me to soon depart

The fame and praise come year after year

Does nothing for these empty tears

Gai clapped loudly and fire burned in his eyes. All the girls sighed and swooned as the tall, dark, handsome man left the stage. Kakashi relaxed in his chair, relieved that no one had died…yet. Kurenai blushed. A lot. She was glad Asuma was outside, and no one saw her vanish backstage.

"Next audition, we have our young Kazekage trying his hand at singing, with 'What's This.'" Gaara's fangirls cheered so loudly a few jounin went up to knock them out.

"I have also rewritten the lyrics -"

"Okay, everyone has their own lyrics! We get it!" Kurenai said suddenly. Gaara blinked slowly and continued.

"This song is about how I was feeling when Naruto beat me during the invasion of Konoha…which I forgot I was told to never bring up again…and what I was thinking, then and a bit after."

What's this, what's this?

My blood is everywhere

What's this?

He fights because he cares

What's this?

He says that you are strong

When you belong

Was this the secret all along?

What's this?

What's this, what's this?

There's something very wrong

What's this?

How could he last this long?

What's this?

I have to bring Shukaku out to fight him

He has a giant fox come bite him

He PUNCHES ME and keeps on fighting

What is this? What's this?

This kid could never beat me

You can bet that he'd be dead

But somehow he's determined

And it's me losing instead!

Is this what I've been missing

Oh, I can't believe my eyes

But deep down I want to feel the warmth come from inside

Oh look, what's this?

His stamina's insane

I miss?

And fail to cause him pain

He's inspired!

Long as his friend is slowly dying

I don't think he'll ever tire!

What's this?

What's this, he fights

With millions of clones

What a sight!

And who would ever think

And why?

He was so terrified of me before

But now he runs no more

And there's a power deep inside

That's why he won't swallow his pride

Why won't he die, why won't he die

Why does he care so much for them?!!

What's this?

Oh my, what now?

His chakra's burning red

He's stuck

But still uses his head

No way

I'm losing to this guy, don't care if I

If Ichibi's strength has run dry

And I'm not secure inside my demon…grrr…

What's this?

My defences are all missing

Though his attacks are very poor

He takes a brutal beating

And returns to have some more

Is this the awesome power that his so-called love bestows?

Is this true strength, and if it is

Where can I get a dose?

So now, I try

To show kindness and

What is it, what's something worth fighting for?

This empty place inside of me is filling up

I simply cannot get enough

Oh I want it, oh I want it, oh I want it for my own

I've got to know, I've got to try

And find someone worth fighting for

What is it?

(Sunagakure?...Hmm)

Screams from his revived fangirls dominated the theatre, but many others cheered for Gaara's lovely tone, the indifferent Kazekage retreating backstage, where he collected the bet money from Kankurou.

"Fantastic! This is what we're looking for!" Gai yelled, knocking Kakashi over with his exuberant gestures. Kurenai was still AWOL. And though his brother was searching for him, Itachi was also missing. (A/N: COUGAR!!!!!!)

Thanks for reading my randomness!!! Please review and help me decide which songs to do next! Thanks :)