A/N: Sooo I haven't been very active here lately, and figured I should post something. This is just a random fic I wrote over a year ago for Christmas, but then did nothing with.

The inspiration for this came from a random tumblr post, but I can't seem to find it - I'm sure I reblogged it but I can't find it anymore... Also, it's been years since I read/watched Bleach so most of my current knowledge comes from fanfiction, so things might be a bit off. Maybe you should consider this an UA (universe alteration). Anyways, hope you like it!

Property Damage

Ichigo was celebrating Christmas with his family when a hell butterfly flew to him. He glanced at his dad and sisters who looked at him curiously.

"I guess I should see what that's about," the substitute shinigami said awkwardly. When he got the approval of his family members, he ran the stairs back up to his room. There he let the butterfly land on his hand and give him whatever message someone had seen necessary to bother him with on Christmas day. (The reiatsu was not of someone he recognized.)

"Kurosaki Ichigo, we have discovered that you have damaged government property, and we ask you not to do it again."

What? Sure, Ichigo and his friends had caused some damage when they rushed off to save Rukia, but he didn't quite see why he would be reminded of that again. And he hadn't even been to soul society after that!

Still quite befuddled from the message, Ichigo nevertheless went back downstairs to continue the celebration. The reminder of the shinigami caused him to miss his friends slightly and wish that they were there with him.

Well, apparently on Christmas, wishes can come true.

In this case by crashing through his window in the middle of the night.

"What the fuck, guys?! Can't you even enter my room properly?!" Ichigo yelled at his friends, who had – once again – come through the window and not the door, like normal people did.

"Ichigo! We came to warn you!" Renji shouted back, apparently out of breath. Rukia was in much the same condition and nodding rapidly to support Renji's words. Great, some dangerous thing was apparently happening on Christmas night. Why was he not surprised.

"What is it? Did more Espadas appear? Did Aizen do something?" Ichigo asked urgently.

"No no, it's something much worse! My brother is coming here, looking highly murderous!" Rukia exclaimed. She looked so panicked that it took a moment for her words to register on Ichigo's mind.

"… What?"

"Kuchiki-taichou is upset with you for some reason!" Renji explained, or well, tried to, as that didn't really explain anything. Ichigo didn't really even see what he had done that could have made Byakuya mad at him.

"I see…" Ichigo said doubtfully, but before his friends had a chance to beat some common sense into his head and get him to run far away, someone else dashed through the (now open) window.

Namely, the head of the Kuchiki clan himself.

Rukia and Renji cowered before him when he glared at them, but Ichigo just stared at the man confusedly when he turned that gaze onto him.

"So, what's up, Byakuya?" Ichigo deadpanned. His friends pretty much face vaulted behind him (where they had sneaked for safety reasons).

"Kurosaki…" The glare was definitely murderous, huh, apparently Rukia had been right about that.

"What?" the substitute shinigami questioned again. He couldn't for the life of him remember what he could have done to upset the other man.

"I was pulled into questioning because of you," Byakuya bit out.

"Huh? What did I do? Does this have something to do with the message I received about 'damaging government property' or whatever?"

… Oh. The Kuchiki clan head looked even more homicidal now.

"I would assume so. You, in your infinite stupidity, 'damaged' me," Byakuya, well, pretty much growled. Ichigo was sure that he should have been afraid for his life like his friends seemed to be, but he couldn't help but feel a shiver of arousal run through him.

Maybe he did have a death wish, like so many had suspected before.

"But we haven't even fought for weeks! What's this about?" Ichigo demanded when he couldn't come up with an answer himself. It was true, though; they hadn't fought since the discovery of Aizen's treachery.

"Yoruichi thought it amusing to steal my scarf," Byakuya explained, except, again, the explanation lacked anything that would help Ichigo understand the situation.

"Sooo? What about it?" the teenager asked. Byakuya's hand twitched as if wanting to grab his sword, but then ended up pulling the scarf (which had apparently been returned to him at some point) down.

"This!" he exclaimed while motioned towards his neck, which was red and purple in places, as if…

Oh.

Oh.

"Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I'll make it up to you…" Ichigo wasn't ashamed to say that he was pretty much pleading with the other man. Byakuya twitched again, but before he had a chance to do anything, Rukia piped up. Ichigo felt like he could kiss her before he realized what she was actually saying.

"Nii-sama, are those hickeys?"

Ichigo made a run for it (like he probably should have done from the start).

Later, when all of soul society was filled with rumours about the Kuchiki clan head and the substitute shinigami, Byakuya could be seen walking down the streets with a smug air surrounding him. Most suspected this was because he had dragged Ichigo down with him (by telling the higher up who had 'damaged' him) and then gone to beat him up, while a select few figured the smugness was due to amazing make up sex.

Those few had no idea how right they were.

A/N: In case any of you like the Avengers, I should mention that I post stories about them (mostly Tony) on AO3. I'm there under the same username.