Just a short crackish oneshot me and my friend Amethyst Dragon Rider decided to write after she found a joke about an Italian and a Greek arguing about who's empire was more awesome (Prussia's by default)
No I'm on Greece's side. Not only because I play him in an RP, but because I've always liked Ancient Greece way more than Rome. Though both of them have their place in history and without one the other would not have had the impact it did. Without Greece Rome would have lacked deities and a basis for their culture and without Rome the remnants of Greek culture would not have spread to Europe on the wings of little Roman soldier birds.
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Heracles Karpusi wandered through the streets of Rome, taking in the sights. Sure, it was a nice city and all, but he didn't see what people thought was so great about it. He had stuff twice as cool and twice as old over at his place. Romano was just a poser, especially since his grandpa had ripped off a lot of his mother's culture.
Speaking of the little devil, where was he? He'd lost track of the Italian awhile back and had just contented himself with wandering around the city and occasionally napping in the warm Italian sun.
The aforementioned Italian grumbled to himself as he searched for his Greek guest, whom his younger brother had insisted he take outside to sight-see. Having been unable to resist Feliciano's puppy-dog eyes, Lovino had obliged, if grudgingly.
Honestly, he'd just gotten distracted for five minutes (stupid tomatoes, being so delicious), and the Greek had run off somewhere else without waiting for him. Damnit!
"Oi, bastardo, there you are!" Lovino exclaimed, finally spotting Hercules walking along the street, "Where the hell did you go?"
"Well I lost sight of you so I figured I'd explore your place a bit, see what all the fuss was about. I like the sun and the smell of tomatoes, but I don't think Rome can live up to the hype. My place is way older and influenced the modern world much more. Plus, your Grandpa just copied my mother. For an empire that was supposed to be so artistic that certainly isn't very creative." He said,
nonchalant. It was almost as if he didn't realize what he was saying was rude at all. To him it was just a fact
Lovino glared, hands balling up into fists. Damn this guy, how dare he insult Grandpa Rome like that? "Oh yeah? What makes you so much better than us, hm?"
"Well, the Acropolis for one." He shrugged, bending down to pet a passing cat. He picked the animal up and held it to his chest, knowing it was a stray from years of experience.
"
Hmph. We have the Colosseum." Lovino retaliated, ignoring the cat in favor of glaring more heatedly at Hercules.
Hercules narrowed his eyes a bit at the hostile Italian, determined now to get the best of him in this argument. "Well we had Aristotle." Take that, tomato face.
We had Damascus." Lovino replied, holding back a smirk. Beat that, bastard.
Heracles clenched his jaw, green eyes sparking. Oh now Lovi'd gone and done it. He managed to make Greece mad. "Yeah well you know what you stupid, lazy, tomato-faced bastard? We invented sex! Top that!"
At this, Lovino made no more attempt to hold back his smirk, and with a surprisingly calm voice, he replied, "Yes, and we introduced it to women."
Heracles' jaw dropped as he stood in stunned silence, unable to reply in anyway. "Well...you have a point." He said at last, making his way back through the streets of Rome so he could find an airport and go home with his tail between his legs, utterly defeated.
Laughing triumphantly, Lovino made his way back home. When Feliciano asked where Heracles had gone, Lovino merely said that the Greek had had to go back home for some reason.
The Italian spent the rest of the day in a peculiarly good mood.
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And there you have it! I love the Ancient civilizations and their penchant for homoerotic activities. Why can't we have random gay orgies in the street? xDDDD jkjk
…or not…
Yeah, I am
…or am I?
The biggest question here is…
Do you want to pet Greece's pussy?