So, I had this idea since yesterday and I wanted to write it and share it because I think this will explain to you and myself that even though I hated that last episode with every fiber of my being and will never take it seriously. I think this will give you some kind of idea on how they were truly feelings after their "divorce" because I will never believe they would divorce but if that ending were true then if they were truly in character and not acting like robots who didn't care about each other, they would actually still be pining for each other and still in love because I will never buy what they were trying to say in that finale. So, here's my take on what I think B/R are really going through in the aftermath of their "divorce". Again, I hate, still hate that finale so I hope this will be a good kind of way to make them endgame and not look really bad as character, people and their relationship shouldn't be the way it was in that last episode.
This will have some bad language, cursing and lots of sex so I will rate this to go along with the chapters after this. I hope you like this it will give anyone who needs closure with the B/R relationship a way to be more settled and at ease in their minds about this.
It's a never ending battle, they fight, make up, they fight, make up, they fight, they breakup. It never ends, because neither of them want it to. They are Barney and Robin, they have so many issues but there is one thing, one thing that both know is true and that's the fact that they love each other. How will they go on in their lives if they can't get over each other. They don't want to end it, they want to just live in a world where everything's perfect but both know that life is a battle, life doesn't give you things you have to fight for them even if it kills you, even if your heart can go on you can't live your life on what ifs. For, Barney and Robin nothing was easy but somethings might be worth the fight in the end.
She loves him, he loves her, they love each other but the fights might be bigger than their love. It might just be the thing that slowly kills them a little each day. Every time they're apart, the longer it is to move on or just forget but neither knew how to do that. Neither knew what they wanted until it was lost even though they want it to never get lost. Their lives are lived separately but their hearts, their hearts are still with each other. The things they want to change or do over again seem to get lost more and more whenever they're apart.
In two different countries, in two different states of mind, in two simplest of hearts, they know that the love they have won't ever go away. If they closed their eyes for just a moment, both can imagine, go back to the days that they were happy and thought they would be together forever but life doesn't work that way. Fairy tales, they don't exists, they aren't real this is life and it's how they're living it, it's how they try to avoid the pain of being completely utterly in love but never getting it right. Maybe, just maybe it's true, they just don't work, maybe, they can't work or maybe it's just that they aren't meant to be. In, two worlds, in two different countries, in two different states of mind, two hearts are equally breaking more and more each day that time passes.
Her heart broke when he said he loved her. It broke even more when he wanted a divorce. And, it hurt even more when it became true and he walked away without a single tear. Okay, maybe they both walked away without any tears but still it hurt like hell.
"Do you want out, Barney?" She can't believe she just said that, she didn't mean to just blurt this out but it's out there now and she can't take it back. Even if she didn't mean it, even if she so desperately wanted to take it back but she can't and she felt a ping to heart that's when time stopped for her. That's when everything she thought was true became not true and all too real. She didn't mean it, but it had been coming on in her head for a few weeks now and once again it was a battle of her heart versus her mind and once again both are messing with her. This isn't fare, this isn't what she really wants but once she said it, it was out there, like a text you can't get back once it's sent. This hurt like hell but it was coming a mile away and she can't control what her heart once because her mouth and brain wants it more than her heart.
"Look, I love you." And, he meant it because words couldn't be more true than those three words. "But, I can't do this anymore. I thought I could, I thought we could but obviously it isn't in the cards for us to go the distance. I think, even though I don't. I think we need to part ways. Maybe for some time, maybe for a couple of weeks or maybe forever. I just can't do this anymore. I love you but you obviously seem to care more about your job more than me." That hurt more than anything else they been through. Telling Robin the truth, at one time he would've lied. At one time he would've lied but he had made a promise to her that he wants to keep it's the one thing he truly wants to keep so he does.
"I want a..." He struggles to get this out but without tears or strain in his voice he finishes. "Divorce." It is stung, it stung like a mother fuckin bee. He's never been so honest and truthful in his life but all he knows now is that he does want out even if it does kill him. "I made a promise, a vow to you and I'm keeping that promise not to lie to you. As much as I want to, I can't do this anymore, not to you, not to me, not to whatever it is we have with each other. I wish, I wish things can be different but it isn't and I'm sorry." And, with that he got up and went to pack his things without talking anymore than he needed to and left without feeling anything. In fact, he was numb from head to toe but still seemed to allow himself to breathe long enough to leave without talking.
That was the last time they really talked to each other. After that, Robin came back home to a dark and alone apartment to get her things and move out. Neither of them could or wanted to be around each other because the pain was just too much for them to take.
It was only a month later when they ran into each other by accident. Robin, had been covering some stories in Argentina, Spain, and then Mexico which brought her back home to New York even if she thinks it isn't her home anymore it's still her home. It was at their old hangout, Maclaren's it was the first time since they signed the divorce papers that they saw each other and it was painful.
"Oh, hi." She said shyly, looking down at the ground below her trying not to make eye contact with him because if she did she would just break down and she didn't want to show him how much she had been missing him. She didn't want to show him that she's crying, well not at this moment but she had been for over the past month since he left. Every night, every morning it was an ongoing flow of unstoppable tears that she kept in once he stepped out that door in Argentina and out of her life for good possibly forever.
"Hi..." He says, also not making eye contact with her because if he did he would break and he didn't want to show her his weakness, not now, not ever really because it wasn't just her that was crying anytime he thought of her or anytime he sees something that reminds him of her or someone who reminds him of her. For a month he was locked in his apartment not making much contact with the outside world. His friends, they all had their own busy lives while he was in his apartment alone and crying over making the biggest mistake he's ever made. But, he won't tell her that, he won't tell anyone that. He will go on and pretend because that's what he knows it's what he always did when something so painful doesn't let him show his feelings and emotions in public.
"How are you?" He is still looking down at his shoes now, trying desperately to not look at her because if he did… He can't show her how miserable he's been for the past month.
She isn't even looking at him either, it's just too hard, too painful of a mark he left when he left her. It was too painful to look directly at him, her lost love that she thought she would spend forever with. But, this isn't a fairytale. This isn't some animated movie where her night in shining armor comes to rescue her from her evil step mother. No, this is reality. This is life.
"I'm okay..." That last word lingered in the air around them and all they could do is still look down.
"And, you?" She's too broken, of course he knew that already because he once told her that she was just as messed up as he was and he wasn't wrong. He knew her too well, better than she understood herself, it's why she knows he's her soul mate. It's scary how well he knows her and maybe that's why she's been scared of her feelings for him for along time, along, long time which she really doesn't know when but it seems it just never goes away. It's there, it will always be there no matter how hard she tries to ignore and push away her feelings it's still there and it's not going anywhere.
"Great, great… Just great." And, she knew, she knew he wasn't doing great it's what she and they said that day at Ted and Tracy's house. She knew, just like herself that he's simply not doing great at all it's why he's not looking at her and it's why she can't look at him either.
That was all they said before going inside their favorite bar. Inside, they just ignored each other and not even looked at each other once on this evening. They just met up with their friends, chatted with them and not with each other and then went their separate ways back home.