We decide to play Candor or Dauntless. After all this party is not very interesting. We're at Zeke's house. We were a crowded bunch at the beginning - mostly around 30 people - the place was full and everybody was dancing. We are celebrating our win in the War Games, we won the flag, and Uriah decided to bother Zeke so that he could host a party in his place.
I'm about to leave when I see Four arrive. He was in the Pit before but now he's arrived with another dauntless member who I don't recognize. I was about to call it a night but then I saw him arriving. I don't know why but I decided to stay. We must be no more than twelve people right now, the others left. I see Christina, Will, Al, Uriah, Zeke, Lynn, Marlene, Shauna, Four, and the new arrived dauntless boy who is called Matt. Cristina says "Let's play Candor or Dauntless."
I don't know what the game is about so I just ask: "what is candor or dauntless?" And everybody stares at me with wide eyes.
"You don't know what is candor or dauntless?" asks Christina. I nod in denial.
'Well you get to pick candor, which is to answer a question, or dauntless that is to be dared to do something, and if you don't want to answer or do the dare, then you have to take out a piece of clothing," explains Will.
I blush myself, although nobody notices. I can't imagine myself taking out clothes in a party, but that's how it is here; besides with the way our bathroom and our mixed rooms are, I think everybody has seen pretty much everything from everybody. However, I always tried to sneak up to the bathroom in the back of the Pit, it's hell of a long walk from our dorms, but there are fewer people there and you get a better sense of privacy.
"Ok, I'll start." says Zeke as we all sit in a circle.
"Tris, candor or dauntless."
"mmm… Dauntless I guess." I say, I don´t want to sound too stiff so I go for the dare/brave part of the game; after all how bad could it be.
"Ok, I dare you to sit on Four's lap for the entire game."
I feel myself blushing again and look from the corner of my eye to Four. He's eyeing me but keeps his head down. I don't want to lose clothes so soon so I accept.
"Ok." I say and stand up. I look towards Four to look for permission, he gives me a slight smile and says "It's ok Tris, I don't bite." I nod and go to sit on his lap, his arms rest hanging on both sides of his body, I wish they could embrace me. I don´t know when I have become so aware of his presence. In classes and in the pit I'm always looking for him. I always want to know if he's watching me and I always want to know if there is another girl on sight that might be his girlfriend. But from what I´ve seen, I'm almost one hundred percent sure that he doesn't have a girlfriend.
"Your turn Tris." says Will.
"Ok Will, candor or dauntless." I ask.
"Candor." He answers.
"Who's your crush in this room?" I ask and look towards Cristina. I see she's rather nervous and doesn't want to look in the direction of Will.
"mmm… that would be… Christina." Finally says Will and gives a shy smile to Christina, she smiles back.
"Ok Four, Candor or Dauntless." asks Will as I feel Four move a little bit behind me, he leans forward and answers 'Candor'. I feel blood rush to my face as I feel his breath behind me tickling one side of my neck as he leans to answer.
"Ok," Will says, "then what's if your worst fear Four?"
I feel Four exhale behind me and then he grabs my waist with both hands and leans to whisper 'Tris could you stand up for a bit please?' I do as he says and I see him removing his t-shirt. Then he motions for me to sit back, I do, but I feel even more nervous with him being naked from waist up. He does something different this time, he puts both of his hands on the sides of my arms. There's nothing to read in this act, but I feel warmer and I must admit I like it better like this. Christina looks towards me, then to Four's hands, and then at me. She raises her eyebrows like questioning me but I just pretend nothing happens.
"Ok," Four says, "Christina candor or dauntless."
"mmm… Dauntless." She answers.
"Ok, I dare to kiss Will." Four says.
Cristina nods and immediately lifts herself to her feet, as Will stands up as well, they both kiss. It starts with a single peck but then they go for at least three times more, while Zeke and Uriah whistle in the back. They part and they look flushed.
"Uriah, dauntless or candor?" says Cristina as she returns to her place.
"Dauntless." says Uriah proud.
"I dare you to kiss Lynn." she says and I hear Lynn say "No way." but Uriah just laughs and without even thinking goes to kiss Lynn. Lynn doesn't like it very much but she says nothing.
A couple of questions and kisses pass between Uriah, Zeke, Marlene, Matt, and Shauna. Four has already loosen his grip on my left arm but has put that hand on my waist. "Are you ok?" He whispers in my ear. I just turn my head halfway and nod. For a moment I just want him to wrap his arms around me and I just want to be able to lean into his back, but those are just illusions with my instructor, and nothing else. Not in a million years would he chose to be with me.
Marlene finally asks "Tris, Candor or Dauntless."
"Dauntless." I say.
"I dare you to look for Peter and tell him that you love him."
Oh my, I wouldn't ever do something like that, not only would be embarrassing, but also because I hate Peter so much that not even as a dare, joke, or whatever, I would mention him something like that.
"Sorry I won't ever do that." I say and everybody stares at me. Marlene adds, "Tris you have to take a piece of clothing if you chose not to do the dare."
I reconsider my decision, but then I'd rather take out of a piece of cloth here between friends than saying anything to Peter, so I take out my shirt. I'm wearing a sports bra, so it's not like it's a big issue, I could easily train with this in public. But then I feel Four getting a little bit restless behind me. Maybe he's gotten tired of me being on top of him, but then I feel his other hand drop my arm and rest it on my waist. I hear him exhale.
"Cristina , Candor or dauntless." I say.
"Dauntless." She says but I don't have any ideas, so Shauna leans into my ear and suggests me a dare; although, I don't know what exactly it means but it sounds funny.
"Do seven minutes in heaven in Zeke's room with Will." Cristina gets up and offers her hand to Will while everybody whistle and make kissing noises.
We don't wait until Cristina gets back so we keep on playing.
Shauna says "I will continue… Four, candor or dauntless."
"Dauntless." He says.
"I dare you to kiss the girl you have on your lap." She says smirking. I freeze. But then I feel his hand on my shoulder and I understand I have to turn to him. He grabs my neck and pulls me toward him. I lose every sense, he kisses me slowly but I feel in heaven. It's so sweet, beautiful, perfect and I don't want it to be over. But it's over and I see people staring at us perplexed until Four interrupts the awkward silence.
"Zeke, Candor or Dauntless." He says, and Zeke goes for Dauntless.
Cristina and Will exit Zeke's room after a couple of minutes. Cristina's hair is dishevelled but she looks extremely happy; so does Will. At this point I have began to feel more comfortable on Four´s lap. His hands are still on my waist, steady.
After some minutes of questions and dares, it´s my turn again. "Tris, Four or candor." Will says. "Candor." I say this time.
"Ok, who´s your crush in this room?" he asks.
I immediately blush and feel everybody waiting for my answer. For some reason Four's hands have dropped to his sides again, like he's preparing himself for listening another name that is not his, but I have to be brave and get this out of me as fast as I can.
"Four." I say.
"I knew it!" Cristina immediately says with a wide smile. Marlene and Shauna elbow each other.
Zeke's has a wide smile like if he was happy for Four. To smooth the tension in the room, I ask immediately.
"Marlene, Candor or Dauntless." She chooses Dauntless and I dare her to dance and sing something in the middle of the room. As she does this, I feel Four's hands on me again, one is on the waist, and the other has slided slowly more to over my stomach.
"I like you too." He whispers and I immediately blush. I wish we were not playing this game anymore, so I could turn around, stare into his eyes and kiss him again. But I do what I wanted to do all the night, I lean into him. He encloses one of his hands around me. I sigh and he does as well.
Then more questions come between all. Zeke goes with Shauna to do 'seven minutes in heaven' in his room, but they stay at least ten minutes. Cristina and Will are sitting next to each other, holding hands. Then Lynn asks Four.
"Four, Dauntless or Candor."
"Dauntless." He says. I'm excited and hoping I will kiss him again but they never ask twice the same thing, so it happens what I was more nervous about.
"I dare you to take Tris to seven minutes in heaven."
Oh my, now I am extremely nervous. I feel Four starting to stand up and so I do. Without thinking too much, he grabs my hand and drags me very fast to the room while everybody starts to whistle and make kissing noises.
As soon as we are inside the bedroom and the door is closed, Four drags me to sit in the border of the bed next to him.
"You know we don't have to do anything Tris, I don´t want to do anything you don't want to do." He says.
I sit next to him and look into his beautiful and intense eyes.
"I know," I say, "But I want to..." and then I lean to give him a quick peck on his lips.
He smiles and kisses me again, but this time both of us let it go deeper. It feels so good that I don't want this to be over, but I need to breathe so we break apart. He starts to play with his fingers around one of my loosen locks of hair.
"I like you a lot Tris." He says and then bends to kiss me again. This time we go further and I feel him leaning over me to the point where I start to fall on the bed. We lay on the bed, with him on top, and he starts to kiss my neck and then my collarbone. I sigh and enjoy the moment, I start to absently run my fingernails through his naked back. I like this feeling of him giving me kisses. Then I start to feel his fingers in my waist, on the sides, on my ribcage. I never felt so much electricity going inside me. I should be stopping, but this is too good for me to stop. I just want to lose myself in his kisses and touches. He goes back to my mouth again and we make out for some minutes more. Then I feel his hand grazing over the side of the swell of my breast. His touches are very light and I start to feel this need for him to touch me even more.
Finally as he kisses again my collarbone, his hands start to pull the strap of my bra very slowly down. The fabric starts to give away to more skin. I can only sigh and pass my fingers through his scalp and the back of his neck. Then I feel the fabric of my sports bar freeing one of the breasts and I feel him spreading some kisses over it until he starts to suck on my nipple. I feel I just have died and went to heaven. But then I think about everything, me being in a party, in a silly game, and my instructor already make his way with me. This feels so wrong for many reasons, even if Four likes me and I like him, we can't be going any further than this, we have to stop, we're in the middle of a party, there are people on the other side of this room.
He has managed to slide my sports bra completely under my breasts. It is just pooling under them, exposing them, while he pays attention to my other nipple and starts to knead with his fingers the other breast.
Without noticing, I start to give away soft moans and that seems to entice him even more. One of his hands is starting to go through my lower stomach, then his fingers start to delve under the waistline of my pants.
"I want you so much." He says, and then I decide I must speak now.
"We need to stop Four."
He stops his movements and looks into my eyes. He sees my fears but he understands. He breathes for some seconds, nods, and starts to pull my bra up again over to cover them. His fingers trail paths upwards and he leans again to kiss me lightly this time.
"What are you doing there? It's already past seven minutes! Don´t do things in my room!" shouts Zeke from the other side of the door.
Four stands up and helps me stand up as well. He grabs my hand and leans his forehead against mine for some seconds. Then he tells me. "I think it's time to leave the party." I nod. We leave Zeke's room and Four says to everybody:
"We are leaving now, it's too late." Everybody watches our joined hands. Then he drags me out of the door. They all remain silent and staring.
We leave the place and go to Four's place where I let him do anything he wants with his hands. We get out of our clothes and lay into his bed.
I never intended this, I never thought that the first time I would be kissing a guy, I would be already having sex with him. But I just want Four so much that I'm not willing to wait. I just want myself to let go into the experience, and I do.