A GOODBYE IS NOT THE END
"Don't say it".
No, he had to tell her. He couldn't let her believe that lie any longer; she didn't deserve it.
It was painful but he had to do it.
- I am not your son-.
As she insisted that he was wrong, he was tempted to give in, to say that she was right… no, he couldn't do it; he had to be resolved.
He explained the situation. He didn't have a mark, at least not the same mark she believed he had.
Seeing her face changing expression as he was telling those things to her was horrible, he couldn't deny it.
He really didn't want to do that to her, but then what was he supposed to do? Living a lie?
He tried to cheer her up. He thanked her for making him know the feeling of a mother's love, something he had never experienced. And he will never experience it again.
In that short period of time when he was still convinced that he really was Ashnard's son he had been happy, despite all the hardships.
She cried, and he didn't know what to do.
He tentatively put a hand on her shoulder. He felt like he wasn't supposed to be so close to her anymore, not now that they both knew that they weren't mother and son, but mere strangers.
She seemed to appreciate that clumsy gesture, however.
She embraced him.
- You may not be my real son, but I really loved you-, she said.
- I know-, Pelleas replied, with trembling voice and tears in his eyes.
- I know-.
- You can still visit me whenever you want. I'll always be there for you, no matter what-, she also said, caressing his cheek, and he nodded.
He almost believed her.
Maybe she was really meaning it, but he knew that it would have been painful for both of them to continue to see each other.
A part of him also doubted that she would still have room for him in her heart once she would find out who her real son was.
He felt somewhat relieved when she finally left him. He didn't have to pretend that he was alright anymore.
He had never been good at being strong.
"Is there anything you're good at?" a mischievous voice in his head said, but he ignored it.
Despite what the voice was saying he had been witness of the defeat of a goddess; he was there to help too, he did his part.
Of course that fact alone didn't mean much – he hadn't been the only one fighting to save humanity, many people way stronger and more powerful that him were there too- but it had demonstrated that he wasn't really alone, that he could have counted on the friends he had made during that journey, that his existence wasn't without purpose.
There was a place for him in that world, he just had to find it, and that was what he wanted to do.
First of all he was going to give up his throne; he had never desired it and he was aware that he wasn't fit for ruling – Micaiah would have surely done a far better job than him.
He wanted to be able to stand on his own without his judgment being influenced by anyone; he didn't want to depend on others, like he had done for all his life until that moment when he set foot on a battlefield for the first time.
Eventually, every single piece of the mosaic falls in his place; now he fully believed that.
It wasn't much but it was enough to make him look at the future with serene eyes, despite the doubts that sometimes would still show up in his head, doubts that he was deluding himself again.
Maybe it was true, however looking at what he had in front of him, all the people from different countries, laguz and beorc, all together, finally in piece, it was hard to not think:
"The worst is over now. Everything is going to be alright, even for someone like me".
Author's notes: hi, thanks for reading this, I hope you liked it!
Well, there's not much to say about this, apart that I really wanted to analyse Pelleas thoughts at the endgame.
It also really bothers me to think that Almedha decides to not consider him anyomore after all the time she passed with him. I like to think that she geniunely cares for him even after the reveal that he isn't her son, and that she tries to stay in touch; that said, being Almedha the one we are talking about, she doesn't really do a great job.
It's also true that I think that Pelleas wouldn't want to talk to her so much.
I had actually planned to make this fanfic longer, but then I felt that it would have been better to eliminate some things.
And I know that it's more common saying that all the pieces of the puzzle fall in their place, but I'm not really sure puzzles actually exist on Tellius, so I decided to write mosaic instead.
Well, that's all for now. Hopefully I'll be back soon in this section, bye! -Feeldespair