Author's note:
Some of the characters from Glee are British in this story. The nationalities are listed below to help you differentiate. I hope I can give some of my fellow Klainers some happiness during this very tense hiatus.
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. They all belong to FOX and Ryan Murphy.
Nationalities
American:
Kurt Hummel – Lima, Ohio
Quinn Fabray – Ohio
Mercedes Jones – Michigan
Noah Puckerman – Ohio
Sugar Motta – New York
Sam Evans – Texas
Rachel Berry – Lima, Ohio
Santana Lopez – Lima, Ohio
Kitty Wilde – California
Chandler Keihl – New York
British:
Blaine Anderson (English - Surrey)
Jeff Sterling (English – East London but claims to be from North London)
David Thompson (English - Hertfordshire)
Trent Nixon (Welsh – Carmarthen)
Nick Duvall (Northern Irish - Belfast)
Wesley Montgomery (English – Yorkshire)
The Warbler is a Tramp - Chapter One
CelebSpy
Blaine's night of passion ... again
Another day goes by and more scandals are afoot in Celebville. At this point though, we at CelebSpy would hardly call the latest tidbit on Blaine Anderson a scandal. Sources close to the lead singer of British boy band, The Warblers, have revealed the singer has lured yet another celebrity gentleman to his bachelor pad.
Just last week Mr. Anderson's people released a statement claiming the bad boy serial dater was trying to settle down. Their efforts were in vain though. Three days later Anderson made his point of view extremely clear to a group of paparazzi:
"Who the f***k settles down at nineteen?"
Rumor has it he was spotted canoodling at the after party of the AMAs with none other than Broadway actor Chandler Keihl, who rose to fame in the revival of Bugsy Malone three years ago.
"They looked pretty smitten," our source revealed. "Or at least, Chandler did. He was trying to play hard-to-get, but you know what Blaine's like. All you have to do is look into that dreamy gaze and you're a goner."
The two left the party and reportedly went back to Blaine's swanky New York hotel suite, a development which has left his band mates furious.
"It's bad press for all of them. Their fan base is very young, and parents are starting to see him as a bad role model. It's not even about his sexuality. It's the fact he seems to be throwing himself around. Impressionable young fans will follow his lead," Phil Turnby, celebrity psychologist and author of Celebrity Rehab 101, told the New York Times last week.
Bad role model or not, he doesn't look to be calming down anytime soon, and if the glum face on Chandler is anything to go by, he's already received the boot. Who will Blaine's next squeeze be? We'll keep you posted.
Kurt rolled his eyes and flicked through to another page on his phone's web browser. He should have probably spent his journey to Canary Records going over the key points he wanted to raise during his interview. His dad always used to tear him away from his books the night before a test in high school though, and it's difficult to break habit.
"It won't do to prepare and prepare only to overcook the turkey, kiddo," he used to say, thrusting a copy of Vogue at Kurt and parking him on the couch.
Kurt couldn't help thinking he had a point there; if he didn't know what he wanted to say now, he never would. And if truth be told the more he's read up on the band, the less appealing he finds the position he's interviewing for.
"Mr. Hummel?"
Kurt quickly hid his phone away in his bag and looked up at the beautiful blonde woman in front of him. Her sleek hair was pulled back in a classic ponytail showing off her pale and clear complexion, small, straight nose and high cheekbones. Kurt looked her up and down from her black suit jacket (Dior if he wasn't mistaken), to the sharp points of her Jimmy Choo's.
"When you're done with the inventory, you can follow me," she said sharply.
Kurt flinched, flushing to his ears. Great start, Kurt. He clambered to his feet and hurried after the stern woman down the corridor.
"My name is Ms. Quinn Fabray. You can call me Ms. Fabray or Devil Incarnate if you prefer," she said. At his raised eyebrow she smirked. "The Warbler's call me that more often than anything. You'll be interviewing with a Mr. Wesley Montgomery. You have exactly fifteen minutes to wow him, or get off the premises."
They'd reached a door at the end of the corridor by that point. "Good luck." She turned the doorknob and jerked her head inside. Kurt tried to ignore the condescension behind her smirk, straightened his back, lifted his chin and strode into the room.
Wesley Montgomery had already stood from his seat and walked around his desk to greet him.
"Mr. Hummel I presume?" he said. Kurt was intrigued by his accent. He knew of course that the UK had many accents (or at least he did since becoming addicted to Downton Abbey), but he still expected every English person he met to sound more like the Crawleys than the downstairs staff.
Kurt shook his hand firmly ("A firm handshake is as good as any reference or speech you can give," his dad would say) and smiled in a way he hoped was charming, or at the very least masked his nerves. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Montgomery."
"Please, call me Wes, if it's okay for me to address you as Kurt?"
Kurt's eyebrows rose in surprise. In all the interviews he'd been to since graduating from college, none had ever progressed to first name basis. "I'm fine with that... Wes."
"Excellent," Wes said. "Now, your interview last week was with Thad Stevens, right?" At Kurt's nod of confirmation, he settled one hand over the other on his desk. "I won't beat around the bush here, Kurt. The position I'm trying to fill has been taken by many people in the last three years and, well, by this point I'm far beyond caring too much about formalities when it comes to hiring an assistant."
Kurt nodded, lowering into the seat opposite Wes, although truthfully he didn't quite understand where this was going.
Wes sighed long-sufferingly and dragged his hand through his hair, rested his nails against the desk. "We've had plenty of people interview, a fair few get the job and every single one of them quit on the spot for one reason or another. I'm not trying to put you off the position, it's just we've reached a point where we can't afford to send anyone in half blindfolded."
Kurt gaped at him. What the hell did this band put people through? He had half a mind to say, 'Thank you very much and goodbye,' right then and there. His curiosity was piqued though and he found himself wishing Wes would elaborate.
"The lads are nice guys," Wes said. "We were in school together. I've been managing them ever since they performed on Britain's Got Talent my last year at Dalton Academy."
Kurt nodded. He'd read up on the Warblers' history the day he got the call for the interview.
"They're just... a handful. As an assistant you would be required to follow wherever they go. They do spend time over here in the States, but their full time homes are still in the UK. You would be spending a lot of your time hopping between London, New York and LA, unless of course they are going elsewhere for press and tours. You'd be waking them up in the mornings, keeping tabs on them, running errands, fetching coffee, and taking calls on their behalves, bringing visitors to meet them, making sure they know where they are supposed to be; basically babysitting them so everyone else can get their jobs done. It is hard work, made even harder by the fact the lot of them like to be a nuisance. As their assistant I must warn you they will not make your job easy, should you prove yourself to be the ideal candidate."
Kurt swallowed thickly and nodded. He'd read about the travelling in the job description. In fact, it was the part that terrified and thrilled him the most. He'd never left the US, but he really wanted to, even if he never got to see much of the world around him, too intent on keeping up with his job's duties, just the knowledge he was in a different place would be enough for him. Alas, that didn't make the prospect any less terrifying.
"I understand, Wes," said Kurt. "I know I would be literally jumping in the deep end here, but I've thought it over and I'd like to give it a shot."
Wes surveyed him over his spectacles, an unreadable expression on his face. It made Kurt feel as though he was being cross-examined by an attorney. Wes lifted his spectacles from his face and placed them on the table, rubbing his eyes for a moment.
"I don't doubt that," he began. "Your resume, although smaller than many of the other candidates we've had, is impressive in detail. One of the main reasons we brought you back for a second interview today is because your personality shone through, both in person and on the page. A fashion internship at Vogue, you had a small part as a flying monkey in Wicked, you can fix a car in your sleep," he listed off from the papers in front of him. "I get the impression you would get along with all the guys."
Kurt smiled. He was particularly proud of the five months he spent working at the Gershwin Theatre.
"But," Wes broke off and sighed. "Forgive me for being unorthodox here, but I am going to ask you a question that... ordinarily it wouldn't come up in an interview for legal reasons. You are well within your rights to refuse to answer. But if you do choose to, I assure you, it will not factor into my decision whether or not to offer you the job."
He looked Kurt in the eye steadily. Kurt could only nod in intrigue and gesture for him to continue.
Wes took a deep breath. "The personal blog you supplied in your resume, states that you are gay?"
Kurt blanched visibly. Yes, this was an odd thing to ask in an interview. What on Earth did his sexual orientation have to do with anything? Unsure of where this line of questioning was headed, Kurt dipped his head after a long pause and said, "Yes. I'm very open about that."
Wes nodded and rubbed his eyes again. "Blaine, he uh ... are you aware of tabloid gossip?"
"Are you trying to hire someone for Blaine?" Kurt blurted out before he could stop himself. "Because if you were hoping for a candidate willing to sleep with him, I'm definitely not the man. I'm not for sale."
"No, no, no Kurt. No!" Wes raised both arms, palms out in a soothing gesture, indicating for Kurt to sit down again. Kurt, who hadn't realized he was now standing, perched gingerly on his seat again, ready to spring up at a moment's notice.
"No," Wes began again. "I'm sorry, that was a bad way to start the topic, clearly. I should have opened with this: We want to hire you, Kurt. The reason I ask, is because the lead singer of the band, Blaine... his behavior lately has left us no choice but to warn potential new assistants about the situation they could be getting into. Blaine also prefers the company of men, and his professionalism with members of the team... has been questionable lately."
Kurt blinked his eyes away from Wes's probing gaze sheepishly, and blushed to the roots of his impeccable hairline. "Oh... sorry."
"Don't be," Wes smiled gently. "I'm sorry for my poor wording. If anything your outburst is what I was looking for. Blaine is... difficult," Wes admitted. "He wasn't always. He just- well, never mind how that changed. The point is, we have had gay men take on this job many times over, and Blaine has had unacceptable relations with every single one of them, to put it bluntly. Then when he gets bored (which he always does), the employee quits and leaves us soon after. We're hoping to hire someone who takes pride in their work and he wouldn't be able to seduce, but we can't for obvious discriminatory reasons, only consider straight males. This is me giving you the forewarning, so when I formerly offer you the job, if you wanted to turn us down, you could do so having been fully informed."
"That won't be a problem, Wes," Kurt said decisively.
Kurt was a lot of things, but he certainly didn't sleep around. He liked romance and committed relationships. The idea of him going along with whatever the lead singer of The Warblers wanted was ludicrous to his mind. Not only would it be unprofessional, the boy's reputation alone was enough to put Kurt off. Why risk sleeping with someone who sees men as a means to an end and could have picked up any number of STDs along the way?
"You're sure?" Wes raised his eyebrows hopefully.
"Yes."
"Well, in that case when can you start?"