AN: No words can describe how much I love all of you. Thank you for sticking by me through everything. I'm sorry; life's been crazy lately, on Monday, I'm going to NYC for a meeting for casting to be an extra possibly for GG! But anyway, this story came to me in one of my dreams and I always wanted to write it down, it will most likely be multi-chapter, and it's sort of AU, depending on your perception. I really hope you enjoy it, I like nice people who review and alert my stories, but I do not appreciate people who write mean and hurtful things on any authors' works. Just don't bother doing it, okay ranting done. This is more for background information and this has nothing to do with the current storylines on GG, aka 3.17 etc, but I really hope you find this intriguing. Love Emily.
The cloudy and dark sky and the brownish- green grass depicted exactly how she was feeling, lackluster, dull, and dismal. Blair sat quietly by her window, crouching in a comfortable position, just staring into a vacant field of grass. Ugh, she was getting so sick of seeing that revolting grass every day. It wasn't even green, why have grass if it's going to be russet and puke-like green. With Serena sleeping next door and Humphrey and Abrahms snoozing down in the bedroom nearest the end of the aged hallway, this was her favorite time, her alone time, and silently hope the sun would come up for that day. It had been two month since he left. Two long, treacherous, months, she waited to no avail. It still pained her so much to think about it, like pouring acid on an open wound, all you could think about was the pain. She missed him like the sun misses the flowers – like the sun misses the flowers in the depths of winter. [1] This was their little hide-away cottage, up in Vermont. At first she didn't agree to this, she would go nowhere near where that infamous hobo barista was raised. But of course, she gave in, she loved him too much. A good thing though was that their cottage was very secluded, quaint, and they were no neighbors. God only knows how much of that land he bought, apparently it was enough. The land was beautiful in the late summer months, she had to admit it. She loved when the sun would kiss her cheeks and her bare feet squished in the 'at the time' green grass- the perfect green.
This was their second time visiting the cottage, which had yet to be named. All five of them, Chuck, Blair, Serena, Humphrey, and Vanessa had ventured out to escape city life for once. Vanessa of course invited herself, and was quickly by a strangely hesitant and annoyed Dan. Serena wasn't at Brown and had her passion for adventure. Lily was taking care of Bass Inc, so Chuck was free to enjoy life, and Blair had decided to make like Serena and defer college for a while to enjoy her youth. Chuck and Blair were sick of honking horns, smelly people rubbing all on you when you were walking the streets, and the people in their lives. Parents are so over-rated in the Upper East Side, you were lucky if you had one parent that actually gave a shit where you were at night. Chuck's parents have both been dead for some time, and Blair's might as well have been. They had a week of pure bliss in their petite heaven. A week of beautiful sun, invigorating walks, junk food, getting drunk of their asses and belting out music no matter how off tune. But then, he left, without even a single goodbye, just a stupid note. During her alone time she reflects on what she could've done wrong, and the night before it happened, never forgetting one single detail.
The scent of lilacs filled their mysterious and warm refuge. After hours of love making Chuck and Blair just lay in their stunning, lavish bed stroking each other's arms lovingly. It had only been 3 months since Chuck had confessed his love for Blair. He loves her more every day, but he isn't sure he shows or tells her that much. He feels so guilty knowing what he's been thinking about doing, but it needs to be done. The thing he has been looking for – for years has reappeared again, and he needs to catch it before it disintegrates into nothing again. He has to do this on his own, or he'll regret it forever.
"You do know I love you right?" Chuck breathed out questioningly. "I mean, you do, don't you?"
"Yes, but I'm still convinced I love you more" Blair giggled while stroking his bare chest.
"Not possible" her heart melted at the remark.
"Just know that I'll always love you – no matter what happens to come our way - no matter what obstacles we might face, just remember that Blair. Whenever you feel like you're alone and scared, remember that."
"And you Chuck, should always know that I love every minute – second, we spend together, almost as much as I love you itself. Not quite though, I think I love you too much." She smiled against his neck.
They were slowly but surely drifting off into an impeccable sleep. Their eyes were drooping like the sun setting after a long summer day.
"Goodnight Chuck, I love you."
"Good night Blair, I love you so much, please remember for me."
Those were the last words she heard his voice speak. Whenever she sat by her window, she would replay every moment of that conversation, and always beat herself up for never saying something back to him after that. But what pains her most is the memory of him not being there when she awoke.
She stretched her pale arms out above her head. It was a good night of sleep – very good indeed. She felt so rested and was ready to face the world with Chuck and Serena – and those other two people. She turned over and reached her hand to – an empty space? It was cold too, where the hell was he? A little creeped out, she got up to go get dressed, when on her dresser, she found the worst entity of goodbye there was – a letter. Placed on top of the letter were wildflowers from her tiny garden. Frazzled, she picked up the card and began reading.
Blair,
Please understand. Something from my past is catching up with me. I have to go catch it, or I will regret it forever. This has nothing to do with our relationship; my hands are physically shaking as I am writing this because you are so damn beautiful when you are sleeping. Remember what I told you, and wait at the cottage, I'll come back, I will, no matter what it takes. I will come back for you.
With love,
C.B
Her hands clutched the letter as one teardrop slid down her porcelain face. Quickly she wrapped her fluffy black robe around her delicate waist and rushed – loudly down her weak and rickety staircase, waking up everybody. She cannot lose her cool.
"Serena! Serena! Get your ass up, or I will take you down." Shit, she was definitely losing her cool.
"Blair, what's wrong did your nail polish chip or something?" Serena asked rubbing her eyes.
"Serena, Chuck is gone – he left and he's not coming back for a while." She said it as calmly as she could.
"Blair what are you talking about, he probably making breakfast or something."
"No, Serena he left a note. He's gone – for good."
She handed Serena the letter, and her eyes scanned over it rather fast, but her quirky smile slowly dropped.
"Blair, the letter said he left but it also said he's coming back, no biggie. " Ugh, she always had to smile.
"Obviously, you don't know Chuck Sub Context. It definitely means he won't return for a long time, and we have to stay here. So no I'd say it is a biggie, a big fucking biggie." Blair practically screamed gradually losing control.
"Wait this is a huge misunderstanding – I'm dreaming, Chuck's sleeping upstairs, where I should be too, excuse me." Blair realized and hurried off.
Serena finally realized this was Blair in denial. Denial was the first stage of the Five Stages of Grief. Lily would always go on and on about it when Bart died. She couldn't believe it; Blair is taking this the same way it would be as if Chuck died. This would explain her strange behavior; her thoughts were interrupted by a piercing shriek.
She ran up the stairs to find Blair crouched on the bed, smelling and gripping on to Chuck's abandoned pillow. Cigarettes and cologne.
"He really is gone S." Blair whispered dejectedly.
"B, B it's okay, it's will all be okay, things always have a way of working itself out in the end." Serena stated confidently.
And somehow for Blair – that saying would always stick with her.
The sun never did come up, and Blair dismally got up from her seat, and walked away. One thing about Blair, she hated waiting for things, past the point of no return.
"He'll come back." Blair whispered against the wind. "And the sun will come out when he does."
[1] – From 'A Knight's Tale – love that movie & Heath Ledger.
AN: Thank you so much for reading this, and stay tuned for the next chapter, this might be a long and very dramatic story. Please be aware that this is the result of a dream I had, so it might not be all that logical, but bear with me. Oh and Vanessa haters, don't worry, I have a special plan for her leaving. And for future reference C/B won't be the only romance in this story ;]. You have to stay tuned and review/alert to find out. For every review or alert I get, I do a little touchdown dance. I love you all, and share your thoughts. Emily.