A/N: I'm sure we've all read about how Joss planned to bring Tara back, and it will always break my heart that he was never able to...but the man has also said "there's a time and place for everything, and I believe it's called 'fan fiction'." So...here is that time and place.
Buffy doesn't belong to me.
One of their favorite pastimes in the beginning of their relationship was star-watching. They'd lie together on a blanket at dusk and watch the stars appear, one-by-one, twinkling. Tara knew all the constellations and all the names and she knew every phase of the moon.
"D-do you know who my first friend was?" Tara asked Willow one night as the redhead snuggled up to her.
"Mmm," she hummed a little. "Tell me."
"The stars."
"The stars were your friends?" Willow began to trace patters on her girlfriend's collarbone.
"Yeah. When I was little, and th-things got...bad, I would sneak out a-and lie under the stars. I got a bunch of books ab-about them and learned every little thing I could. I talked to them, and I felt like...I felt like I was one of them. I felt like a star...oh God, oh G-God." she buried her face in her hands, embarrassed.
Willow kissed her jawline. "Baby," she cooed. "You are a star. You're beautiful and shiny and bright."
Tara blushed. "The stars we-were my home," she continued. "And I found you and...I found love, I found home. I'm so happy I found you, Willow," they kissed, warm and deep and soft. The brunette fought tears, smiling up at the sky.
"I'm so happy I found you," Willow replied. "My star."
Then Tara proclaimed she loved her. It was the first time either of them had said it. They certainly knew they did, it just went unspoken, but when she finally stuttered it out as she played with a lock of Willow's hair, she felt so peaceful and happy and home. Under the stars with her love, she was home.
After Tara died, Willow found it nearly impossible to look at the stars. She talked to the little plants she kept on her windowsill. She hadn't talked to her plants since before Tara came along. Much like her girlfriend's stars, plants were Willow's first friends, along with Xander. Whenever she went to her grandmother's house as a child, she spent the whole day getting lost in her massive garden, counting every petal of every flower and telling the leaves of the trees of her childhood troubles. Even in high school, she had plants adorning her room.
Xander was there to listen occasionally, but some feelings Willow felt so deeply she couldn't communicate. There was Kennedy, but when she flirted with her she felt uneasy and sick. She wondered if, one day, she could feel that fluttery feeling in her chest again, if she could feel for another person the way she did Tara. But she went on.
She was waiting for Buffy, who had been out all night. It was becoming something of a common occurrence, and though Willow began to expect it, nothing stopped her worrying. The sun was just beginning to rise and Willow decided to wait on the porch. The air was crisp and new, such a nice change from the stuffy, overpopulated house. She found someone else on the porch, dressed in a tshirt and flannel pajama pants, holding a steaming cup of tea. He turned around, startled as she approached him from behind. "Hi, Giles," she said, almost giggling.
"Bloody hell, Willow, you scared me," he rubbed his eyes, chuckling a little. "What are you doing up so early?"
"I've been up all night," she admitted. "What are you doing?"
"I've been up, too."
"You know, I shouldn't be worried for her, after all these years, but no matter how hard I try to sleep, I stay up thinking and playing 'what if ' with myself." Giles admitted.
"I worry about her, too. But you shouldn't be too stressed, Giles."
"Why? Do you think it'll give my old body a heart attack?" he joked.
"No, because we can get through this, just like we get through everything." Willow wasn't quite sure if she really believed that, but saying it made her feel a little better, if even only for awhile. The sun began to shine through the leaves of a tree and she felt a little warmer inside.
"Do you really believe that, Willow?"
"I want to. Don't you?"
"Of course I do," he replied. They were silent for a moment. "Willow, I worry about you, too."
The redhead chewed her lip. "Why?"
"You are doing a lot better, but I can tell you're sad. And I...suppose I am, too. I miss her."
"Tara?"
"Yes. I think of her just about every day. It just...hasn't been the same."
She willed herself not to cry and hugged her arms to her body. "It hasn't."
"It's alright to be sad about it," he assured her, placing a hand on her back.
She smiled. "Thank you, Giles. I knew I liked you for a reason."
Giles laughed and held her for a moment, then slipped away. "I'm going to make breakfast, you need to come in soon and eat."
"I will."
Willow finally fell asleep on the couch after breakfast. Xander covered her with a blanket and insisted everyone let her sleep. Buffy came home soon after, rousing Willow from her sleep. "Buffy," she breathed, pulling her friend into a hug.
"Hi,"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just a little tired," the blonde admitted. "Look what I got." she presented Willow with a pair of yellow strappy heels.
"Oh...where are those from?"
"The powers that be. They gave me one wish for all the good I've done to the world and...yeah!"
Willow's face fell. "Oh, Buffy, no..."
"You don't like them?"
"Buffy, I can't believe you would do that!" Willow exploded. "You...you could've done so much! But you decided on shoes?"
"Willow, I think you need to go to bed and calm down," Buffy said gently.
"I just...I can't believe you, Buffy." she stormed up the stairs and flung open the door of her room.
There was a girl on her windowsill.
A beautiful, familiar girl with soft brown hair and full lips and smooth skin, with sparkly eyes that reminded Willow of the stars. But it wasn't...not really...she had been up too long...
Neither of them knew what to say, so they just stared at each other from across the room for a moment. "Is it really...?" Willow asked.
"Yes." Tara said.
"How...?"
"The powers that be."
"But...shoes...Buffy..."
"That wasn't real. Buffy asked to bring me back."
Willow dared to step closer and touch her love's cheek. "I can't believe it, you really are...you're here."
"I'm here," Tara repeated, caressing Willow's hand. "You look so tired."
"I am, but I'm afraid to sleep."
"Why, honey?"
"Because I'm afraid when I wake up you'll be gone."
Tara stood up and kissed Willow for a long time. "Did that feel real?"
"Yes."
"It will feel real when you wake up, too. I promise."
So Tara and Willow laid down and slept in each others arms, and Willow clung to her as tight as possible, just in case it really wasn't real.
That night, they snuggled up on a blanket under the stars. "Just like old times," Willow grinned.
"Uh-huh."
"When you were gone...where did you go?"
"I'm not sure exactly where I was, but I was somewhere. There was light and warmth, and I was very happy, I felt like I was among the stars..."
"So you were...home."
"Mm, I was happy, but there was apart of me that was missing."
"What?"
"You. You weren't there. I missed you."
"Oh, baby, I missed you, too." they kissed gently. "It was hell."
"You know, I thought I was home...wherever I was, but...it wasn't my time yet. I think our time will be together."
"Together."
The stars twinkled extra bright that night, and Tara promised them silently she would return to them later, with her Willow.
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed the sapfest.
-Lulamae