A/N: This is my first fanfiction so I would appreciate any constructive criticism. Flames are allowed, I personally don't care for them. Flood my inbox, give me more reviews, and I'll ignore you in return! Everyone wins! I am writing this story on my free time so I'll likely have a new chapter out every month or two. I'll try my best to update often, but as a guy said in a movie I still have yet to see beginning to end in one sitting, "Stuff happens." Now note the rating and ask yourself if that rating would offer any explicts, so don't ask for any. Besides it's too much work for me to try and do something like that.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Bleach. Honestly, do you think I'd be writing this if I had the power to change it in canon?

"Talking"

'Thinking/Sarcasm/Etc.'

Super Emphasis/"Spoken with Super Emphasis"

(Author's Notes in the story)

I'll add more to the key as they appear.

It was early in the morning, at about four o'clock AM in Seireitei. Most people would usually be sleeping or relaxing during their spare time in the after-life, especially with such a serene, peaceful, and calming environment surrounding them. However, this person was obviously not most people.

This person was obviously female with a very petite build and white, yet ever so slightly tanned skin. She seemed to have dark violet/blue hair with two long braids running from under her hair down her small figure to the small of her back where there was a gold ring at the end of each braid. She wore a haori, the symbol for a captain of the Gotei Thirteen, which had the kanji for two on the back. This person held a stern gaze with a scowl on her face and gray eyes and furrowed brows completing the 'stick up the ass' look. Her name? Well, to you she would say 'Soifon-taicho' but I, as the author, get to call her Soifon. She is the second division commander, leader of the Onimitsukido, one of the fastest shingami in Seireitei, as well as one of the most powerful women in existence.

She was currently on her way toward the fourth division barracks for another one of her bi-annual special meetings with Unohana, the taicho of squad two. These meetings began some forty-nine years ago, exactly twelve months after they learned 'she' left. Soifon stopped that train of thought from continuing.

Soifon then started questioning why she had to go to these meetings, though she was at least grateful that Unohana always managed to work around her already overloaded schedule to do this instead of forcing her fukutaicho, if she could even call the fat oaf that, to do the work. Normally people would love to hand their work over to their fukutaichos, however, this certain one was a bit trickier than normal. He was fat, great! Must have some cunning on the battlfield to use that blubber? no. He was slow, not just by second division standards but by general shinigami standards. So he must be strong? Not at all. Then he is a tactician? no. A leader? no. An excuse to not have a different lieutenant that is even worse? Not possible. Most would then question how he got the position then. The answer is simple, politics.

Soifon's thoughts of her 'fukutaicho' were cut somewhat short by the appearance of the fourth division barracks. She set off directly in the direction of the taicho's office, barely a few hundred feet away from her now, a relatively short distance compared to the distance she'd just traveled to get to the barracks. She saw the door in sight and let a brief sigh lose and stretched her muscles slightly for the headache she knew was coming from visiting Unohana again, as something odd always gets brought up here... worse yet, she actually goes along with whatever she does.

Soifon knocked on the door. Not long after a voice cut through the calming silence in reply to the knock.

"Come in Soifon-dono." Unohana's reply sounded. As Soifon came in and looked toward the desk where Unohana sat in wait for her, obviously tired from the lack of sleep if the look of her eyes was anything to go by. (This is where I'd put a description of Unohana, but I only put the appearence of important characters/when characters look different/for OCs).

Soifon's prepared reply was curt and to the point, in a futile attempt to rush through the meeting, which she found to be a waste of her time every year, "You wished to see me Unohana-dono?"

"Yes I did, you might want to take a seat because I have a few things to discuss with you." Unohana's look left no room for argument or any form of reply. Soifon simply, yet briskly crossed the remainder of the room to the seat she had motioned to and sat down stiffly, scowl still ever present on her face. "I wanted to ask why you have so much of your time spent on working? It is unhealthy and could almost be considered as worse than how you reacted fifty years ago when you locked yourself up for almost nine months. Only until I had to fetch you so you could be present for your taicho promotion. But I suppose you have answered that question enough times." It was true, Unohana seemed to always open these meetings with that same question of why Soifon had always worked as hard as she did, probably in a wasted effort to be able to hold the meetings at a more reasonable hour, or maybe it did serve a purpose to the meeting itself, Soifon could never figure it out. "But onto today's agenda. I would like to ask you how well you have been so far ever since 'she' left. I believe today is an appropriate date to ask this question, considering it is the day before the fiftieth anniversary of her departure."

Soifon, to her credit, hadn't twitched a muscle throughout the presentation of the meeting's proposed purpose, though Soifon could tell there was something underneath the cleaver cover story the fourth division taicho concocted. She would play along for now. "I am doing fine. I can breath, I can fight, I can feel, and I can die. If this is the point of this meeting then I must excuse myself, I have business to prepare for tomorrow." Soifon was about to get up to leave when she noticed another topic about to come out, luckily 'her' training had helped her with reading people like a book, she found it almost too easy, or it would have been slightly awkward or uncharacteristic for her 'bad ass' persona.

"Soifon-dono, you cannot lock yourself up like this every year, we both know what business you speak of. It's going to be fifty years since 'she' had left tomorrow, why don't you go out? It will do you good to see the outside world during those twenty-four hours instead of wallowing in sorrow, beating up on your training ground the whole day." Soifon could tell she was getting close, she would go along for a bit more and she might finally get what she had come to be asked about, or she could merely walk out and let her entire division suffer at the hands of the fourth division whenever the would get injured in the extreme training regime of the second division... she was actually legitimately concidering the second option. But she decided against it, it wasn't professional to bring others into your own personal matters.

"I am sorry Unohana-dono, but as you know" 'to at least some degree' she thought near immediately in the middle of what she had begun to say, "I do not wish for others to see any form of weakness coming from my person. I fear the repercussion of any form of weakness and how they would affect my squad, especially with my fukutaicho..." Soifon was referencing to how a taicho represents their squad, any befallment of theirs looks bad on the entire squad, or how any personality portrayed by the taicho reflects on how the squad looks. It was also common knowledge to those who knew Soifon at least somewhat well that she loathed her fukutaicho with every fiber of her being, unbeknownst to his feeble mind. But the only people who knew her even that well were only the Sotaicho, by force, and Unohana, through the meetings, which she only attended because of Unohana's threats.

"Then how about I give you something to do during the day, perhaps?" Unohana began while Soifon was happy she was finally about to end this meeting. "I shall make you an offer you cannot refuse." She emphasized, obviously stating that any form of argument or denial of the offer would come with long term torture, off the records, of course, to either her. In the form of a mountain's worth of paper work, which she'd have to do herself. Or her division, in the previously stated form.

Soifon, begrudgingly heard her out, thinking something along the lines of 'what could it be, there's nothing in all of Seireitei that I couldn't do.' (*cough* famous last words *cough*) She continued to boast proudly in her mind so she could actually ma- err... female up for the task she was being 'asked' to do.

The words that left Unohana's mouth next shocked her too her core. And the open ended threat that came with it made Soifon think that the phrase 'stuck between a rock and a hard place' wasn't descript enough... She made her decisions, once more, if not more-so, begrudgingly.

-====== The Next Day ======-

Soifon was fuming. First she had to set aside time yesterday to speak with Unohana, then she had to deal with her version of tact in conversation, which was far too round-a-bout for her tastes. Next she actually had to legitimately consider a preposterous offer where she, quite literally to her, had to consider which of the two was the 'lesser of two evils.' She picked her option and now she actually had to actually take the day off! (The nerve!). Soifon still couldn't understand why Unohana was doing this 'for her' when she doesn't even want this.

Soifon then found the place she was heading for. The place she had always hoped never again see in her life, and especially not personally. To her it was the worst hell imaginable, a place where she had only been to once before and gave her the worst headache she'd ever had.

She then walked up to the large structure and stood in front of the seemingly glowing door. She then knocked three times on the Marechiyo clan estate's door.

A/N: Oh no! I left a cliff hanger! Don't worry I won't leave you hanging for all too long! I'm still wondering what she is doing at the Marechiyo estate. Did she take the offer or the punishment? Will you even learn next chapter? Why won't the author give us such vital informa- oh wait... I am the author! Bwahahahaha! I put on a wide grin and squint my eyes and say in the most childish voice I have it in me to use: Bye Bye!