PRIDE
I remember when we were young and invincible. We thought there was no end to our conquest of the world, which is ridiculous in hindsight, I know. You seemed like you would never stop rising and I believed my hand would ever slip for yours. I let you go, in the end; you didn't drop me because I pushed you to the ground.
The world didn't crumble at our feet like the walls of Ba Sing Se. We were teenagers, I guess, and we were stupid because of it. When we were teenagers, it felt like we were in love when maybe it was just an infatuation or obsession.
You did have good reason to be proud. You were marvelous and you knew it and I thought you were perfect and that I could never die. Or maybe I thought you were immortal. That makes more sense.
On the first day, I was frightened but I smiled my way through it.
"Do you want to talk?" I asked you. Maybe I was begging; you were so pale, frail and alone but still a proud creature who knew she was better than everybody else.
But death is the great equalizer, people always said to me.
It doesn't matter how powerful or incredible you are. Royals die just like peasants but with more jewels surrounding them and more fuss about their death before they burn on a pyre and their ashes are slowly forgotten.
"Do you?" I repeated.
"I don't want you to suddenly care about me now that I am dying," were the first words you said to me in years. You were cold. You acted like you were too good for me.
I left you because you were too proud to try to change, to tell me you loved me even once, to be honest with me, to be vulnerable once in a while. I wanted to consider myself more than your ghost. I wanted to take pride in who I was instead of obsessing over who I was with you.
"I just love you, is all," I said. I must have told you a thousand times tonight but it didn't seem like you were listening. "I'm sorry."
You said nothing.
Your regal pride was more important to you than tying loose ends in the world of the living. I was not going to leave until you drew your last breath. Of that I was certain.
There was only one dilemma.
How was I supposed to make you fall in love with me again before it was too late?