This story is written by me, Twitty, and my good pal Nuttrbuttr. Aren't our names just the tops? Aliases ftw.
*Disclaimer*: I don't get why people even put disclaimers. But, lest I get sued, I shall stick to the status quo and do what all the cool kids are doing. No own! Om nom nom. That is what the cool kids do, right?
A girl of small stature hummed tunelessly at the kitchen counter, strands of her light brown locks falling over her jovial, determined eyes. She pushed them back into place with a patient wrist, as her hands were a bit busy at the moment. Busy with what, exactly? Why, crafting her orange gelatin into the shape of a cat's head, of course! Sometimes people would accuse her of having an "animal-shaped food fetish," but whenever this occurred, she always just laughed and inquired, "What's a fetish?" Tohru sighed, thinking of how it just seemed that no one wanted to tell her!
"There! All done!" she exclaimed with sudden gusto, her tawny eyes portraying her innermost joy perfectly. She held up the fruits of her labor triumphantly, admiring the orange gelatin's striking resemblance to a certain kitty cat she knew.
"Dearest cat-shaped gelatin," began Tohru, blushing a bit upon realizing how foolish it seemed to be talking to an inanimate object, before remembering that it was ok because she was the only one home, "Please realize that after all of the hard work I put into making you, you should give me just this one tiny wish: Please allow all of my deepest wishes to come true." After a moment of absolute silence, she came to terms with her own pure silliness, and at last put down the gelatin. The space cadet turned around to exit the kitchen, laughing softly and wiping her hands off on her hot pink, lacey apron Ayame-san had been so kind as to make specifically for her. It read, in fancy, ivory letters: "Clean MY Kitchen!" Although Tohru didn't quite know what the words meant, she still wore the apron as a token of her gratitude towards Ayame-san; plus, she did think it was rather cute. When she had shown Shigure-san, he'd only snickered into his hand and given her a thumbs-up. She couldn't wait to show Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun --
"Tohru..." growled an unfamiliar voice from behind her, cutting off her internal rambling. Said teenager turned on her heel, quick as a bullet, causing her hair and skirt to twirl about her, which just added to the all around dramatic affect of the whole scene. Upon absorbing the sight which greeted her oaken eyes, she blinked several times and rubbed said hues; because, if her eyes did not deceive her, the cat-shaped gelatin had just SPOKEN to her!
"H-hello?" she squeaked, fumbling with her words rather epically.
"Tohru Honda..." began the gelatin in a deep, creepy voice, breathing heavily, "You have committed the ultimate taboo: defied the laws of nature by attempting human transmutation... Are you ready to pay the toll?"
"…"
"AHAHAHA! Oh, I kid, I kid!" it gushed, before becoming suddenly betaken in an implicitly serious mood. "No, but seriously, come with me." There was a flash of alabaster light, and our little heroine found herself completely robbed of her consciousness.
Upon revealing her sepia eyes to the world, quite glad to find that the blinding whiteness had passed, she found herself to be in an entirely different universal plane than that of which she had come to consider "normal." Her immediate reaction was to attempt standing up; as, naturally, any respectable person would. However, by happenstance, she failed miserably, as she found out the hard way that the floor underneath her dainty, simply clad feet was comprised entirely of red Jell-O. Falling down was not at all foreign to Tohru, as she was naturally such a clumsy person; yet, this fall was unlike like any she'd experienced in the past, as the blow she'd been expecting turned out to be completely cushioned -- the ground was, after all, made of slippery, squishy Jell-O. Upon further investigation, Tohru realized that EVERYTHING in correspondence to her current position was made of Jell-O; save for the soft azure sky with puffs of dark gray clouds here and there. However, everything else -- the trees (which there were an awful lot of, she acknowledged -- she was probably in some sort of Jell-O forest), the ground (obviously; she'd just had a 20-minute monologue just about the ground in her head), the forest creatures (as she had finally concluded that this was in fact a Jell-O forest), and even the little cottage only about 20 feet away from her current awkward position.
"How strange..." was all she could manage to mumble.
"Oi! You there!" cried a voice she did not recognize, startling her out of her reverie-like state.
"Huh?" Tohru queried as she whipped her head around to greet the new arrival.
"It's been years since Tony's encountered a human," mused the man made of pink Jell-O. Tohru caught herself staring, and she mentally slapped herself for being so rude. She'd almost completely forgotten all the manners her mother had instilled in her!
"Oh, h-hello! My name is Tohru Honda, nice to meet you!" she exclaimed in such a way only she could manage, an explosion of politeness and sunshine, somehow finding a way to scramble to her feet in the flurry of her panic so that she could bow to the man. Tony stared at her with an unchanging expression for a good fifteen minutes, and Tohru began to get a little uncomfortable. Right when Tohru was deciding that the man was probably mentally unsound – and her mother had always told her to steer clear of the type, mind you – and that she should probably just inch away from him until he was out of sight, Tony's squishy Jell-O face broke into a brilliant, dazzling smile. Seriously, the people here had amazingly white teeth. Did they bleach their teeth once a week or just have very good teeth cleaning ethics? Tohru thought it would be rude to ask.
"You seem like a good kid!" exclaimed Tony suddenly, startling Tohru once again. "Come in my shop here, I'll hook you up." Tohru followed the man into his shop, not stopping to wonder, like a normal teenage girl would, whether or not "hook you up" meant "rape you and then slit your pretty little throat." Wasn't she just the cutest thing ever?!
"Have yourself a seat, right there. I'll be with you in a jiffy!" Tony then scurried off into another room (once again, Tohru failed to wonder whether or not he was going to come back with some sort of Super Molester 2001 device and an empty, waiting body bag). While she waited, Tohru took the offered seat and sang quietly to herself.
"I was so happy when you smiled..." Mumble, mumble, "Far from the sunny days that lie in –" mumble... She then realized that she had forgotten almost all the words and just kept quiet. After a couple minutes, Tony bustled back into the room carrying two peculiar objects (and, don't worry, it was not a Super Molester 2001; or a body bag, for that matter).
"What are those?" queried Tohru, eyeing the objects curiously.
"Super special shoes! They're called the Shoes of Justice! When you put them on, you have to yell, 'Take this! The powers of justice! Justice armor, Justice Shoes! Attack!!'"
"Excuse me, but isn't that just a ripoff of the Headband of Justice from that one anime –"
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is, all you did was replace 'headband' with 'shoes.'"
"You lie, little girl."
"No, I don't."
"You lie, just like the cake."
"OK, you seriously need to stop quoting things, because now everybody who hasn't watched Bleach or played Portal isn't going to know what you're talking about, sir. They're probably already confused enough as it is with the heavy Fullmetal Alchemist reference from earlier."
"Yes, I suppose you are right, young one. Anyways, they are called the Super Duper Anti-Slippery Shoes. The second you put them on those little dancer's feet you got there, you will be able to maneuver about just as well as us Jell-O folks. Go on and give it a try!" Casting Tony a dubious glance, Tohru slipped the "magic shoes" onto her feet and began walking around in circles.
"Wow, they really do work! Thank you, Tony-san!" exclaimed Tohru as she moved around, quite pleased to find that she was walking about just as easily as when she was in the human world. Speaking of worlds...
"Um, excuse me, sir, but what world do I happen to be in?"
Instead of thinking this question strange, the man simply replied nonchalantly, "Why, the Jell-O world, of course, my dear girl!"
"Oh, right, the Jell-O world, of course," she said, nodding her head vigorously. Suddenly, she was stricken with a strong, painful twist of homesickness in her gut. She was a whole world away from the Sohmas... She wondered wistfully how they were going to get dinner tonight. Would they allow Yuki to attempt another one of his monstrosities, or would they just order take-out for the umpteenth time in their lives? She felt her eyes well with tears and internally berated herself for being so emotional when she was with kind company. Tony seemed to pick up on the sudden change in the gust of emotional wind and turned his sympathetic eyes upon the tiny teenage girl, with deep brown eyes so lost and alone.
"Hey, why don't you stay in my shop tonight?" he offered. Tohru turned now frantic eyes unto him, shaking her head vehemently.
"Oh, no, Tony-san! I could never impose on you in such a manner!"
"No, please, I insist!" Tony replied politely. Tohru's eyes darted around the room as she seemed to search for a relief from her quandary.
"Well, if you will be kind enough to allow me to stay a night under your utmost hospitality, then please allow me to return the favor by doing the cooking and cleaning – if just for the night!" Tony stared at her. Playing housemaid.... Kinky. He laughed out loud as he clapped her on the back for her naïve nature.
"Alright, but the pleasure is all mine!" insisted Tony. "I'll just go make up the guest room for you. Feel free to start supper at any time," he added half-jokingly, winking for her benefit. When he was gone, Tohru sighed and collapsed onto a comfy chair in the small, cozy shop. A little voice in the back of her mind nagged at her, informing her that she had a very long journey ahead of her. She simply brushed it off, however, and got to work on the Miso stew.
Make sure to review! Please? Whatever, nobody reads A/N's anyway. Nor do they heed the author's pleas. So, bye, my love. Fly, my pretties -- sprout your wings of adulthood and freedom and begone from this land! 3