A/N: Thanks to all my beta readers. I really wanted to get this right so I appreciate all the eyes I had: carmensandiego, kelbelle, carrielynn, and moviestar29. This is for all my GG girls: at LJ, TWoP and real life.

Disclaimer: Neither the characters nor the town of Stars Hollow belong to me, but rather to Amy Sherman-Palladino.

Sidestepping

Part One: The Way Things Start

Jason was just leaving when Lorelai returned to the Dragonfly. She veered towards the stables, praying he hadn't seen her. Her heart seized up again as she thought of Rory curled up back at home, in her bed. She continued down a path, tripping slightly as her heel struck the ground unevenly. Her mind raced as her thoughts turned to Luke. Luke was back at the inn. Luke. Whose hands had been on her hips, whose lips had been on hers not long ago. It seemed so surreal now. He was the dream and Rory was the reality—her true life smacking her in the face. For the second time that night her heart sank. How did Luke fit into all this? Obviously her issues with Jason weren't resolved, not to mention those with her parents or Rory. Lorelai wound her way back to the front of the inn only to find Luke on the steps.

"Lorelai? What happened? Did Jason find you?"

Lorelai tried to reassure him. "It's nothing...and everything." She exhaled loudly, sinking down next to him as she bit her lip to keep from crying even more. She hated crying in front of Luke. And he probably hated it too, but he didn't show it that night.

"Hey, it's me." He nudged her legs with his fist.

"It's Rory. And the inn. My parents. And God damnit, Jason! I just feel like I never get a break."

"I've told you the inn will be fine. It looks amazing and tonight was great. Jason might need someone to talk to him if you know what I mean--" Lorelai tried to laugh but it just made things worse. She started crying again. "Aw geez, Lorelai. Let me help."

"Believe me, there's nothing I want more right now, but I can't. You've done enough." Luke looked stung. She stomped her foot. "No, that's not what I meant." She wiped uselessly at her face. "You've done plenty. And tonight...I just can't—Luke—I can't let you in."

"Then when, Lorelai? When?"

"Honestly?" She looked at him. Big mistake. All his emotion was in his eyes. Raw. "I—I don't know." She tripped up the porch stairs and inside.

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Lorelai hadn't been in her room ten minutes when there was a knock on the door. What now? She tried to wipe away the tears before opening the door. It was Luke.

"Lorelai," he said softly. She couldn't help it, she let him hold her—he was so safe and warm and he smelled amazing. "What happened?"

"I can handle it." She sniffled and tried to move away from him.

"Obviously you can't. Lorelai, please. We're friends—don't you tell friends what's wrong?"

"We're more than that now, Luke." She said sadly, forcing herself to move away from him.

"And maybe that's my fault. But either way, I don't like to be pushed away."

"Luke," she said exasperatedly. "I just have some things to deal with first, okay?" She bit her lip, knowing she had spoken too harshly.

"I get it. I'll see you tomorrow." Luke said bitterly, closing the door behind him. Lorelai threw herself on the bed as he left. She shouldn't have gotten mad at him, he was just trying to help, but Lorelai couldn't help it. She couldn't think straight when he was around; she kept replaying those kisses in her mind. But she knew that as much as she wanted this chance with Luke, taking it right now would be a mistake. There was too much happening. She hadn't been lying about that.

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There was Rory, her parents, the inn. She supposed she used them all as excuses to put off—whatever they were, wherever they were headed. It wasn't only her, Luke let her use them, they were his excuses too: We can talk later, go make sure Rory's okay or the inn's not on fire. Make sure you don't break my heart.

Too late.

That night they were both standing still. Now only he was; Standing there wondering how things had gotten to this—back to where she didn't even notice him and even when she looked at him, he knew she wasn't seeing him—not like she had that night. The book had made it seem so much easier.

Every time she entered the diner she had the intention of bringing up their movie date. But she faltered again and again. There was a static-ness between them. Things were fuzzy again. When she looked at him she didn't know where they stood. She didn't see what they could be, what she had imagined—known, the night he kissed her.

At night, Lorelai watched one of the endless VH1 commentaries—70s, 80s, 90s, Best Week Ever—it was all the same to her. It was something she would have found funny and sat laughing at for hours, but now she just found it inane and dull. She found The Bell Jar on Rory's shelves and became engrossed in it. Her daughter wasn't around to be worried about her mother's literary choices. Lorelai couldn't sleep, often getting up to pull out old photographs and journals from high school. One night during her insomnia, she even thought about Rachel: wondering whether she would have advice. Wondering why Luke hadn't gone after her because Rachel had seemed such a perfect fit: down to earth, calm, with a natural beauty. Lorelai couldn't imagine why Luke would want someone like her, but then Luke wanting her was enough to make her cry herself to sleep.

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Damn cats. Lorelai had tossed and turned all night and now those stupid cats were out there meowing and running across her porch. Lorelai rolled out of bed and managed to make it downstairs in the dark without injuring herself. "Shut up!" She opened the door and yelled at the cats, hoping to scare them off.

"Lorelai?" It took everything she had not to scream.

"Luke? God, you know how to scare a person." She clutched her chest. "And what the hell are you doing here? It's like three in the morning."

Luke shoved his hands in his pockets, looking unsure of himself. "I'm not really sure. I couldn't sleep so I was taking a walk and I ended up here."

The softness of his voice surprised her and Lorelai blinked rapidly to make sure Luke really was sitting on her porch and this wasn't a dream. "Well, come in."

He did as he was told and followed her to the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink? I don't have peppermint tea but I have chamomile." Luke looked impressed. "It helps me sleep." She whispered conspiratorially.

"That's fine." Luke sat at the table, looking at his hands in his lap, trying to conjure up the words to—"Lorelai?"

"Luke," she said at the same time. Luke let her forge ahead. "I'm stupid. And I'm sorry. I really want to--"

"Try this?" She nodded. "Thank God, me too." Lorelai smiled and Luke got up to hug her tightly to him.

tbc....