A/N: Another fic from me, and it's one of my rare NON-humor ones. I thought I'd have a go at angst, seeing as it's been so long since I've posted anything. Please review and tell me what you think of my first attempt at the angst genre, even if you think it sucked.
Inspired by X-Treme X-Men #3
Pairings: Psylocke and Thunderbird
Archive: It's not. If for some reason you want to, e-mail me.
E-mail: TARGETER14@AOL.com
***
I don't know what I was thinking as the medics finally zipped up the bag, hiding her beautiful face away. My body- my mind- both had gone completely numb. Everything that had been right, was suddenly wrong. I felt like the world had stopped spinning, like gravity had ceased to exist.
Like all those little constants in our lives that we take for granted were suddenly gone.
Betsy...my soul whispered brokenly. I'd have said the words, but it was like I too had died, and my body no longer worked. My eyes were boring into that green bag. My mind had finally caught up to me, and it was saying that maybe if I kept looking at it, she'd come back. That she'd laugh that wonderful, mocking laugh, would unzip that bag, and leap out, declaring that it was all a joke. I couldn't look away, because I knew that if I did then that would mean she really was dead. I didn't want her to be dead.
If I had been standing, I don't think I'd have stayed that way for long. Suddenly, I felt incredibly tired, and every muscle ached. My body felt like it was made of jelly. I had been sitting on the floor with my back against the wall while movement went on around me, and as my bones ceased to work, I slid like a puddle to the floor and lay there. I didn't care how ridiculous I must have looked- I just lay there, staring at the bag.
Something hot burnt my eyes, but I ignored it. My vision began to blur, but I couldn't blink- refused to blink- for fear that in the split second it took for my eyes to be rejuvinated, Betsy, my beautiful Betsy, would die. My mind was convinced that she was alive.
My lips were burning now, from the chaste kiss I had given her still form only moments before. I was trying to do a reinactment of Sleeping Beauty then. When our lips touched, I had expected the wonderful soft warmth I had felt oh so many times before. I had expected to see her dark eyes open so close to mine. I had expected movement, to feel her mouth smile against mine.
What I got was a terrifying stillness, and the icy touch that can only come from death imprinting on someone. That one, loving kiss I had given in an attempt to breathe life back into the one I held so dear, had in that one moment, made more of an impact on me than all of the happy moments I had had with Betsy. It was so horribly...final.
With a start, I realised that my second half was gone. There was a huge, gaping hole inside of me that would never be filled again. People always say that after you lose love once, it always returns to you. It might be a bit changed for the new person, but it's there. I knew, however, I wouldn't ever feel love, true love like I'd had for Betsy, again. I would have a gap in me that no one else could fill. No matter what happened to me in my life, there would always be a part missing, and I would never be the same again.
One of my hands was lying in my path of vision. I moved it, slightly, and it closed. I could feel Betsy's hand in mine, could see the slim fingers with the purple nail varnish on her nails. I remembered the first time I had ever held her hand. It had been one of the most wonderful experiences of my life, such a simple little pleasure that I had savoured. Her hands...they were always warm, and moving. I could feel the throb of life in her wrist beating close to the pulse in mine. Slowly, I had raised her hand to my mouth at the time, eyes locked on hers, and kissed her wrist right where the pulse was strongest.
That was gone now. I was slowly accepting that Betsy, one who had been brimming over with life, had overflowed until there was nothing left. Still, I remained staring at that bag, that damnable bag, the one where they had hidden her from me.
There were people around me now. Bishop, he was shaking me, but I didn't respond. Rogue, she was there too, yelling, but I had gone deaf to all but the sound of Betsy's sweet laugh ringing in my ears. Storm was here now, gesturing wildly to someone out of my line of sight. A swarm of medics came into my peripheral vision, and internally, I yelled at them, as I realised they were going to walk in between me and Betsy.
No! You're doctors, you're supposed to keep people alive! She'll die if you come between us! I screamed at them from inside. I wanted to yell, do something, try to stop them, but no words would come out of my mouth. My lips, still burning, refused to shape the words, and my tongue lay still in my mouth.
Everyone was either gathered around me or Beast's prone form now. Everyone looked worried, and I could see them talking, but I couldn't hear. One woman, a doctor, she was walking into my vision. I saw her feet move as if in slow motion, pounding against the floor. The vibration went through my head, making my teeth ache, and I needed to talk to her and tell her to go away.
In my head, Betsy's laugh had disappeared. Instead, it was replaced by the thudding of two hearts, beating in time with each others. That was the bond that was shared by us, Psylocke and Thunderbird. We were soulmates, our souls always entwined around the others through everything. The beating of the two hearts was steady, though slow. Beating....beating...
The doctor cut off my view of Betsy.
I blinked.
One heart stopped.
The world started again. Gravity returned to normal, the world started spinning, and I could move my body again. I sat bolt upright, tears forming as suddenly as the switching on of a light. "No..." I whispered, voice rasping harshly in the back of my throat. A slow, keening wail escaped me, piercing the air. Everybody nearby turned to face me, pity in their eyes. Storm and Bishop each held a side of me, supporting me physically. Emotionally, I was falling.
I stared at the horrible olive green body bag. She was dead now. Gone. I hadn't kept looking at her. If I'd spoken..."I'll kill the bastard who took you away, Bets." I said softly, but fiercly. "I promise."
Vow made, I passed out.
***
Ok, this little ficlet was written at around 11:30. It's not beta-read, it's just random typing. Please, tell me what you think! Also, if anyone cares, I'll have the fourth chapter of What If?- Green Eyed Girl up soon. Ah well, I'm off to type a little more on my first Gundam Wing fic...R/R!!