Mighty Queen

Nasuada looked out at the crimson-red sky setting in the horizon, far behind the high stone walls of the city. The distance of the sun made it easy for Nasuada to imagine going behind the horizon, all the way to Overhav, where Eragon lived with the dragons, the elves and Brimstürk - the first dragon-rider to be trained at the land far away. Nasuada believed that Eragon was content at Overhav, or so he had seemed when they last had talked, though she realized that was a long time ago. Time ran away so quickly now, that, with all the might and worries of being a queen, Nasuada barely noticed it passing.

Her life was neither miserable nor joyful. It simply was, and even though she enjoyed being a queen she felt something missing in her life, and she knew exactly what was it was. It had been more than two years since the fall of Galbatorix and Nasuada had not heard a single word from Murtagh since that very day. She didn't expect him to ever come back, in fact, she was confident that he had moved on, and she knew that it was more than time for herself to do the same - to find a mate and to raise an heir. But she had yet to find a man fitting for the task, and she was dangerously aware of the small hope in her heart. She knew she should not feel to it, but how could she not; after all they had gone through together?

With a last, longing, glance at the setting sun, Nasuada turned her back at the fading heat source and walked back into her room.

Nasuada didn't dwell on the matter any more the following days, for she was as busy as ever, with the security-arrangements for the new eggs and the rebuilding of the citadel - a process that was still going much to slow for Nasuada's liking. She was also anxious over the arrival of king Orrin. She had spent every free moment she had, which was not often, trying to find the arguments that would convince him to agree to the new treaty.

King Orrin finally arrived to days later. They immediately started the meeting, both of them eager to settle matters. But the meeting was not going as Nasuada had wished, and it took far longer than she had expected. At late in the afternoon, the meeting was still far from over, with Nasuada and Orrin sitting quiet, trying to figure out how to convince the other to their plans. One of Nasuada's servants came into the room, bowed at her majesty, and announced he had a guest in tow. Nasuada was just about to answer that whoever wished to see her would have to wait until the meeting was finished when she saw the man that entered the room. Her heart jumped over a heart-beat and she forgot whatever it was she was about to say.

In the doorway to the hall, in ragged leather clothes, and with a stern look upon his face stood Murtagh. He, too, seemed to lose some of his self-control when he saw Nasuada, for he did not utter a greeting but fell into a gaze of her majesty. Both of them were tongue-struck, and a flood of thoughts rushed through Nasuada's mind, most of them cursing him for the time of his arrival.

It was Orrin who finally broke the silence as he said, with an utterly cold voice,

"Murtagh, kingkiller. I see that you feel fit to accompany us. How delightful." Though his tone indicated that "delightful" was the farthest thing on his mind.

Murtagh kneeled toward Nasuada, bowed, and said,

"Your majesty." Nasuada returned his greeting by saying his name, something that aroused far more feelings than she wished it had.

When the meeting finally was over, after what had felt like an eternity, Nasuada retreated to her room. There she had Farica set up a hot bath for her.

Nasuada sighed as she lowered herself into the hot water. It seemed to relieve most of her anxieties. When she, half an hour later, dressed herself in her night robe and got ready for bed, she already felt much better, her thought collected and focused. Then she heard a knock on her door. Nasuada stayed where she was, waiting for Farica to receive whatever message anyone was bringing. She sat down on one of the chairs in her chamber, thinking on how she should proceed with the meetings the next day, for the situation seemed utterly hopeless.

Farica came into the room with an expression on her face that Nasuada couldn't quite figure out.

"Your highness, Murtagh is here. He wishes to speak to you". Her comment took Nasuada a bit aback; it was not what she had expected. She quickly regained her composure.

"Tell him that if he wishes to speak to me he shall rightfully get the chance to do so tomorrow."

"Yes your highness", Farica turned away and walked over to the door to deliver the message, and soon Nasuada could hear Murtagh's voice behind the oak-door.

"I insist upon speaking to her right now." Nasuada felt herself sighing again. Then she stood up and walked over to the door.

"What is of so big importance that you have to come see me at this hour?" she asked, even though she could guess the reason for his visit.

"You know why", he answered; the tone brining back memories of times in the hall of the Soothsayer. Reluctantly she let him into the room.

"Could you leave us alone?" she said to Farica who quickly dispersed. Then she turned back to Murtagh.

"We can't do this, and you know that very well", she said, far more confident than she felt. Nasuada saw some of the fire within Murtagh fade out and he lowered his gaze to the floor, seeming to try to find the right words. Then he raised his eyes and met her gaze,

"I know that." he said with a sigh.

"Then why do you come here?" she asked impatiently.

"I…" he started but Nasuada interrupted him. "Two years, and not a single word. For all I know you could be dead"

"But I'm not", he said with a tone she couldn't quite place.

"I see that", she said dryly and let her glance walk over his lean body. He took a step towards her, reaching out his arms.

"Nasuada", he murmured and the gentleness in his voice made something burst inside of her.

"Please don't do this", she whispered, desperately. He repeated her name and this time it took her all her willpower not to throw herself into his arms. She lowered her gaze, concentrating on not making a mistake, trusting her body to keep to the decision her mind knew was the right one.

"I love you", Murtagh whispered and this time, his voice was only inches away from her and she could feel his warm breath on her chin. Strong as her mind was, she couldn't keep the tears from building up in her eyes. She wanted to give in to him, to tell him that she loved him too, to have all the pieces of the world fall into place. But she knew that could never happen. So she did the only thing she could do. She gathered her thoughts and with a grim expression of her face she turned her gaze upwards and locked her eyes with his.

"Then why", she growled, "Have you not contacted me in all this time? I thought you had moved on. And Murtagh, I have", she said, though the moment the word slipped out of her mouth she felt how untrue it was. But Murtagh seemed not to have noticed how she flinched when she said the words for he took a step back.

"Then maybe I made a mistake by coming here after all", his voice was thick, despite his effort to hide his emotions. "I apologize", he said and left for the door as Nasuada stood, frozen in despair, and watched him as he walked away from her for the last time.

"Wait" she whispered, her voice cracking, and the sound barely audible. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob. Slowly, he turned around to face her. His expression was grim and with a voice as hard as steel he whispered, "What?" She could find no words to express how she felt and anguish rushed through her mind as she tried to find the words she wanted to share. But her mind, clear as it always was, now crumbled up in a mess and she saw no way to clear it up enough so she could deliver her thoughts. So she said, in a voice far more desperate than she had intended, "my mind". She could see the debate going on inside Murtagh's mind, and they both stood silent for a long while. Then, light as a bird's feather, she felt his mind brush against hers. He retreated quickly, obviously more affected than he wanted to make a show off. But then he touched her mind again, more determined this time. It felt exactly as she remembered it, the feeling of his familiar mind made her relax, and she opened up her thoughts for him. For a long while he simply stood there, and read all of her emotions and desires, without giving a hint of his own.

Finally he withdrew and she ignored what was the mess of her mind and focused on a single thought.

"I love you Murtagh", she said, and with nothing more in her mind than the uncontrollable force of love, she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his muscled torso and letting the tears fall fiercely down her cheeks. He embraced her all the same, and when he heard her silent sobs he leaned back to look at her.

"Why are you crying?" he asked, confused.

"I finally grasp the meaning of my world, but I know that I can keep it no longer than one night. I am strong, but it might break my spirits to lose you again." Murtagh released his hand from her back to brush her tears away.

"I will not leave you to fall back into unknowing. I'll stay by your side", he whispered and leaned towards her until their lips were only millimeters from each other.

"But you know we can't", she whispered, desperately, to his lips.

"You are the queen. You can do whatever you want", he said and a grin formed on his face. She knew that was very not the case, for as a queen she had more responsibilities than anyone. But for this moment, she let her responsibilities slip away, and gave in to the moment. Instead of answering she pushed her face towards his until their lips met and their thoughts and desires melted into one.