A/N- I originally wrote this for a contest, but as the contest was cancelled I had no clue what to do with this story. I either wanted it to be a one shot, or to have actual chapters. As i am writing so many other stories, and as i finally formed the basic plot, I knew more and more this had to be a one shot.
I hope you enjoy it, as much as I have enjoyed writing it.
Warning- There are quite adult themes here, like suicide and death, and if you do not appreciatate this, it's simple, don't read! I don't want horrible reviews. I like reviews from people who enjoy my fanfictions.
Preface.
rejection [ri-jek-shuhn]-To be unwanted, to be alone, to be forgotten to the point of madness. To have a secret so great you can never tell your own best friend. To be thrown aside by the community, by society, by everybody precious. To be unwanted, to not be cared for, to want to die.
This is what being rejected means to me. It can mean something different to everybody.
And here's the side of the story you never wanted telling.
Chapter one:
I stared aimlessly out of my window, at the stars which shone brightly down upon the earth, and the dark spaces inbetween, the places of darkness and emptiness, stretching out towards the end of the universe.
I shuddered at that thought, listening intently as steps creaked and hushed whispers wafted into my room like smoke. A door slammed, and I listened as the sounds slowly but surely grew more and more silent until they stopped completely. Mum and Dad wouldn't be back for a while. I grinned to myself and slowly opened the window.
'Don't look down' I said to myself. I took in a deep breath and slowly but surely hoisted myself up to a standing position.
I shut my eyes closed, tightly, trying not to think of the past, to think of nothing but the fall, of nothing but the impact, of knowing nothing from that moment on.
"Renesmee, honey..." The familiar voice I had heard so many times, would never be heard again, not by these ears at least. It all came flooding back and a tear pricked the corner of my eye.
I shivered, though whether it was from the cold or from remembering I really had no idea.
I glanced down and reeled back, my heart slamming in chest.
'If you want to do this, don't look down!' I muttered to myself. I shook my head at myself and stared straight ahead.
Decisions, decisions. Do I jump? Do I leave behind me people who are past caring, who never truly cared about me, or do I stay and suffer this pain for 3 more hard years?
I screamed inside, wishing more than anything I could just scream and scream until my lungs and my throat burned and my body gave up. I couldn't. So easy to get caught.
I wobbled slightly, foolishly looking down again. I cowered away, my head spinning. I stepped back inside. Was this really the right decision?
I shut the window, slowly, yawning. I trudged back to my bed, thoughts whizzing around my mind at the speed of light. It was pointless. I did it every night. I had done it every night since the day I turned 13, since the day the world turned against me. And every night I failed at one of my only wishes.
I lay on my bed and slowly drifted to sleep, dreaming of my happy memories, my first day in England after my family moved from America, starting secondary school and meeting my best friend, Jake. Even he no longer seemed to care about me.
I was suddenly awake, sitting up in bed with sweat inching its way down my forehead. Without thinking I raced to the window, throwing it open.
If I had to face a life without the love of my life, then life wasn't worth facing for one more day. I didn't look down, just stared straight ahead at the stars and the emptiness, silently watching as aeroplanes flew by, flashing vibrant colours. I would do anything to just get on a plane and disappear forever. Sinking without a trace...
I sighed and concentrated on never seeing Jake again. I stepped lightly onto the windowsill, gripping the sides. I would never see his smiling, beautiful face, we would never go to the park and scare the little kids on the swings, just so we could have the swings to ourselves.
And then she just had to ask you out. I put one foot forwards, my heart beating at a crazy speed.
And you just had to completely forget my existence, of all the memories we had. I took in a deep breath, bracing myself for the jump and for the fall.
"Nessie!" I heard his voice scream through my mind. I had to get away from it. I glanced behind me, and saw his face. It's all a hallucination.
And then I jumped.
"Nessie, NO!" I heard a scream behind me; it sounded to much like Jake to be real. It was too late, however, and I lay on the ground, my whole body aching unbearably. Give up, let yourself die.
It was useless. I couldn't move, every inch of my body on fire. I tried to scream but no sound came out of my mouth.
I tired to open my eyes, but they seemed to be clamped shut. There was nothing I could do. I would just lie here forever, drifting in and out of consciousness. My heart was hammering, occasionally skipping a beat. I was so scared, so alone right now. Why didn't I just die? It would be so much better than being stuck like this forever.
I felt a sudden warmth, banishing the freezing cold. I reached towards it, but, still unable to move, I could do nothing as I felt the warmth grow in strength around me. I heard faint sounds, they seemed so far away.
My eyes drifted open of their own accord, and I smiled as the world around me finally came into focus. A pair of magnificent chestnut eyes stared down into mine. My heart melted. Jacob Black had found me...
"Nessie." His beautiful voice whispered. "Don't you ever scare me like that again." He smiled and kissed me on the forehead.
He kissed me! He kissed me! My heart thudded, and his grip on me tightened. A sudden pain shot through my chest. I screamed and writhed in his arms. The pain took over, blinding me, his face disappearing in a mist of dizziness and confusion. If I were to die today, at least let me see him until the last moment. I pleaded silently inside my head. I stared up at Jacob, as his features became sharper, appeaered brighter than before. I saw every dimple, every tiny freckle, every line on his face.
"Are you in pain?" he asked me softly. Oh, I could spend days, no years, no, and eternity just listening to the sound of his voice. Why had I fallen so in love? Love was a curse, not a joy. It broke your heart and killed your soul. Love never made me feel alive. Love had killed me slowly but surely, and love had brought me to where I was now.
"You take the pain away." I whispered. As long as I wouldn't have to face stupid Célie ever again, I didn't care what I said to him. His expression changed in an instant. His emotions changed from shocked to scared to a look so hard to explain, a look that convinced me Jacob Black was the man I belonged with.
"Nessie..." he murmured. He stroked my hair, ever so softly, as if he was afraid one wrong movement would tear me apart. I had already done that to myself, and there was no going back.
Lights flashed through my head. A child screamed, happily. A little girl with thick, dark hair, wide, innocent eyes and the most beautiful smile emerged from the light. She held out her hand, and I reached out to her. We were in a hospital, the disgusting smell of disinfectant filling my nose and burning my throat. A young woman sat up, her eyes red from crying. In her arms was an angelic little baby.
A muscular man had his arms around her. They both looked so happy. As she glanced up her eyes stared into mine. She was... me. Me in the future. The little girl beside me tugged on my hand and the scene changed in a flash of white light.
Wedding bells rang through my ears, as a young couple stepped out of the church that had suddenly appeared in front of me. Her smile was wide, her white dress flowing behind her, her equally beautiful husband grinnig and waving at the crowd that flooded in front of them. Yet again, I saw nothing but my face and Jacob's face, years from now.
I felt something pull my arm, and I was yanked to the left where yet again the scene changed.
"I love you, jacob Black." Came an awfully familiar voice. The smell of flowery disinfectant burned through my nose again, and in front of me lay an old woman, tubes coming out of her nose, bags and machines surrounding her bed. Jacob kissed her forehead gently, before her eyes drifted shut and her heart moniter beeped in an unsteady rhythm.
I shook my head, realising that was the way Jacob and I were meant to end. Not here, not now, when there was so much life left to live. I could not help it. The tears streamed down my face as the girl once again tugged at my arm. I followed her without thinking, too wrapped up in my own sadness.
I took in a deep breath, rich, earthy scents filling my nose, a welcome change from the disinfectant. The little girl skipped away from me, turning and giving me a sad smile before running into the arms of a young woman.
"Alina, where have you been? Dad and I have been so worried!" The woman fussed around her little girl. My little girl. And I cried before them like I had never cried before in my life. The woman looked up, her eyes widening as she saw me. She stood up, and started to pace towards me. I fell to the ground, the darkness taking over the light.
Why did you take me now? Why did you take me before you showed me what could be? I screamed inside my head. I want to live! I can't die! Not like this...
The darkness melted into colours and shapes, and then into a picture. Jacob's face stared down at mine, tears pouring down his cheeks.
"Did you see that?" he whispered.
"I did. And I made the wrong decision. I should never have jumped." I tried to sit up, to wrap my arms around his neck, but the pain once again took over.
"I came to stop you." He murmured.
"You... did?" I stared up at him in shock.
"I saw you about to jump, and then you went back in, and I watched, to make sure you were safe, and then I saw you again, so I ran." His voice was filled with a sadness beyond my imagination. Not only had I destroyed any hope of a future, I had destroyed the love of my life.
"And your front door was open, and I got to your room just in time to see you jump." A single tear now rolled down his face.
"I ruined everything. Not you. You weren't too late, I was too early." I comforted him. It wasn't working. He held me in his arms, as I slowly became weaker and weaker.
"Nessie, if you go tonight, I'm coming with you." He said confidently.
"No! Our future, what you saw, you could have that all with Célie!" I couldn't even think of the world without Jake, and I wasn't even sure heaven existed.
"Célie? Seriously? I know I haven't seen you much lately, and I am so sorry, but Célie has been dragging me around everywhere." He groaned, anger flitting across his face just for a second.
"I know now to whom I belong." He whispered in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine.
"Jacob, I have one last wish." I managed to finally choke out. The pressure on my chest was growing heavier, my head slowly getting lighter and lighter.
"Anything, for you, Ness." He smiled, lighting up my world like a supernova.
"Kiss me." I said. "That's my last wish. I've never been kissed by somebody I really love before."
Before I could say or do anything else, a pair of lips crushed against mine. It was almost like a thousand tiny fireworks going off inside my mouth. He wrapped his arms around me softly, embracing me. I pressed my body against his, never wanting this moment to end. But I knew I was running out of time.
As we kissed, our tears mixed together, our bodies melting together, none of knowing anything but the heat of the moment. His hands knotted in my hair.
"I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too, Jacob Black." I uttered my last words.
Far away in the distance, sirens rang out as I kissed my last kiss. Everything slowly faded. I could only see Jacob, I could only feel the heat and the passion and the feel of his lips on mine. I was soon gone.
Gone, but not forgotten.
Renesmee Carlie Cullen x
Epilogue:
Heaven is a place where dreams come to life.
But my one wish was the one thing I couldn't have. The breeze made the branches of the trees surrounding me sway. They surrounded me on every side, the rustling sounds were whispers, whispers never heard.
I sat on the grass, crying, my knees tucked under my chin. The pain was gone, but now I was left to deal with the heartbreak of losing the love of my life. I could only imagine how he must feel, all alone on earth. I cried even harder.
"Are you alright?" Came a familiar voice from above me. I looked up shyly.
"Jake!" I screamed and stood up. he took me in his arms.
"How come you are here too?" i asked.
"I couldn't stand being away from you. I had a feeling, deep down, that when I arrived here you would be waiting." He whispered and kissed the tip of my nose lightly.
"Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got 'til it's gone?" I hummed under my breath. And in my case this was too, too true. I wrapped my arms around Jacob's torso, kissing him softly.
"And now we have forever to enjoy together, just us two." He smiled at me, and showered me in kisses.
It took a while, but I finally had the fairytale ending I had always wished for.
A/N- I wasn't sure if I should do the epilogue or not, but I couldn't stand to see Nessie end up without her Jacob Black.
Maybe one day I will change the story, so Nessie lives, but that won't happen for a while.
Please, rate and review, and tell me what you thought. Any criticism is welcome, just tell me what I need to improve for next time I upload a story.
I'm only 12, don't be too harsh on me. =]
Izzie xx