Grimmy: This is a little something different. A onesided oneshot showing a bit of the inner workings of Brainy's mind. In the few Hey Arnold fics I've read people tend to cast him as the off the rocker suicidal guy. I suppose it's a trend of some sort but to be rather frank, I don't really agree with that. I mean, I can see where it all comes from but people tend to justify his actions because nobody knows him. If anything, I think that situation would spawn from his unreturned affection for a certain blonde. And sometimes, I think his obsession goes a bit farther than Helga's. Not that I'm saying he has the shrines and random bouts of poetic speech. But he does follow her EVERYWHERE and is obviously willing to admit that he likes her. And of course this is all just my opinion. Like always, I'd like to know how you all feel about it.

And of course, I don't own Hey Arnold.

Long blonde hair pulled back into two perfect pigtails. The pink bow that sat perfectly right behind her neatly trimmed fringe. Healthy white skin, a few shades away from being a pale color. And those blue eyes. He could think about those in particular all day, every day. He'd seen them so many times that he could name every shade of blue they could be associated with.

If it weren't for the fact that he followed her so often people wouldn't be under the impression that he was asthmatic. He only wheezed when he saw her. Only because her mere presence forced the air from his lungs and made his heart beat so fiercely that he was sure that it would pop right out of his chest one day. Just the thought of her sent his brain into a frenzy. If it weren't for that he would have announced his love for her long ago.

And when he finally realized that he couldn't even speak her name aloud he proposed to her. Granted they were only in the fourth grade so it didn't really count. But she wrapped her arm around him and that alone made him damn near faint. As far as he was concerned she was kissing him, only with the knobby lips of her fist.

Another reason why he followed her. While it was a painful experience, despite the fact that he'd built up something of a resistance to it, he loved the way her knuckles pressed into his face. He'd memorized every single detail of her favored punching hand. From the ridges of her knuckles, to the surprisingly soft feel of her skin.

Sometimes he actually made it close enough to actually smell her hair. It was a sweet smell, one that made him shiver and he wound up following her to the store to see just what she used in her hair. After that he bought enough strawberries and cream conditioner to last a few good months if he used it every time he showered. His obsession went so far that he would often curl up and sniff the sweet smelling substance. And even that wasn't enough, it didn't smell quite like her.

But he knew he could never really have her. That was why part of him hated Arnold, while another part of him loved the boy. Because she loved Arnold. And because she loved Arnold, she would never make time for him. He only wanted her to be happy but that oblivious fool completely neglected her feelings and ran off to some godforsaken jungle.

She was sad, and in turn, he was sad.

She really was an amazing actor, and if it weren't for the fact that he watched her almost every day he would have believed her happy act. And while a few others didn't fall for it, such as Phoebe and Lila, they didn't really understand what was wrong. Not like he did. To have someone you love completely leave you. That night he saw her cry he almost went insane with guilt.

And even now, a good three years later, she still cried sometimes. He simply couldn't take it anymore. They were supposed to be entering their second year of high school for Pete's sake. No longer freshmen and able to have a lot more fun. And she was going to miss out because of that boy.

He placed a first class ticket to San Lorenzo in her mailbox.

He was letting go and even though her heart would never be his to have, she would always own his. She was Helga G. Pataki and she knew him as Brainy.

Grimmy: While I've posted fics that haven't been betaed/proof read before, I'd like to say I'm feeling particularly unsure about this one. Inspiration came and went in sudden bursts and while I don't think there is any repetition, I do think there may be a few typos. Feel free to point them out.

On another note. I'd like to say that Edward Crane(a reviewer) is currently the sole inspiration for the reconstruction of LLN. Not going to lie, I'd lost inspiration for a while. And while I'm not bouncing out my seat in joy to write for it, I'm not shirking it either. I promise, I mean it too, that the premiere should be out in a few days. The only thing that can keep me from posting it is if I have to stay with my sister in the hospital. But chances are that won't be happening since my mom offered to stay. So tell Edward thank you folks and if you happen to be reading this, I'd like to personally think you for hinting that I shouldn't neglect my work. R&R folks.