A/N: I've had this idea on stall for awhile ever since I began Lone shadow. I hope you enjoy. Update: I've edited spelling and grammar. This fiction will be have new chapters soon.

Title: Sheppard Reads Romance Novels?

Author: Lady Valmar

Genre: Romance/Humor

Rating: T (not suitable for children under 16).

Archive: FF, SGAHC, Stargate_Atlantis_Slash, MakeBelieve

Pairings: Various, but mostly Sheppard and McKay centered. (Non-slash)

Spoilers: Season 2 onward

Summary: Sheppard catches the most unlikely of people reading a romance novel and then ends up reading one for himself, while Rodney discovers he has admirer. Gen only.

Warnings: Slight adult content. Be fair warned.

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate: Atlantis, or any of the novels mentioned in this fic or any of the characters, so everything else is mine and therefore please ask and do not infringe nor steal my original themes, concepts, ideas or characters please.

… .LV. …

Sheppard Reads Romance Novels?

By Lady Valmar

Song Inspiration: Fever by Various Artists - Shanachie Records

He knew he had no choice. It was the only way. If he pretended otherwise he could say he felt relieved to know this was it. The end. But he didn't feel that release of tension, that he thought a bullet to the head would give. No. all he felt was guilt and sorrow. More terrible and intense than he had ever felt in his life.

As he griped the gun in his hand closer, he felt a tremor ripple through the very fiber of his being. He could feel the trigger beneath his finger, the scent of soon to come copper touching his nostrils.

He took solace in that at least he wouldn't have to deal with the pain anymore. Any of it. The loss he felt inside of him would not cease. He would never see her sweet face again nor her beautiful hair, rippling down in cascades of raven water. Nor would he feel her warm embrace touching his stiff shoulders or her laughter like a Nightingale's song on the wind.

No, this was it. He had to end it….

"Hey big guy. What are you reading?" asked Sheppard, coming to a stop in front of Ronon.

Shutting the book on the bookmark, Ronon looked up, with sunken eyes as he handed the book to Sheppard. Ronon remained unusually quiet as Sheppard examined his book.

Sheppard found his eyes skimming the cover, "The Path That Is Not Always Clear" by Jane S.T. Andrews Farwry. As he was about to hand it back, that is when his eyes caught three small little words at the very bottom of the book, "A Romance Novel." His eyebrows rose.

"Ronon you do realize you are reading a romance novel, don't you?" asked Sheppard, while flipping the book over to the back.

"It sounded good, I was bored. Read the back," grunted Ronon, while a smile played at his features.

So Sheppard read:

The path is not always clear as the path we try to assume we should be on. Transverse Markus's journey through the loss of his wife, to the dawn of a new life.

Markus Tourlmark married Clarissa Dubrawl after he found out she was bearing his son. After two long years spent raising his child and his wife, he runs out on them, afraid his secret will cause them harm. When he returns, he learns his wife has died and his child has been taken by the very same people he had sought to protect his family from. He plans on committing suicide and even succeeds. Then the unthinkable happens, he wakes up in the hospital alive, with no memory of what has happened in the past two years. The problem is those who took his child and took his wife's life have not forgotten him and have been seeking him ever since. Markus will have to remember before it's too late or otherwise his secret will kill yet another life, the life of his son. While on his journey to remember he meets Jackie Runner, a jewel thief on the run, a quite attractive woman at that, who helps aid him in remembering. During the course he falls for her, will he choose her over the life of his son?

Sheppard looked up, "Um, interesting. So who'd you get it from?

Ronon didn't answer but took the book back, and flipped it open again returning to reading it.

Sheppard rocked back and forth on his feet, "Well I can see you're really captivated by it so I'll just be going now…"

As Sheppard was about to leave, Ronon added, "If you want to read one there's a pile of them sitting in the recreation room."

With that, Sheppard made a quick exit out of the mess hall, trying for the life of God, not to laugh. It was odd for Ronon to be that quiet, let alone reading a book and a romance novel at that, thought Sheppard, as he trembled with silent laughter in the hallway.

He hadn't really thought he would ever dare give a romance novel a second look or even a first but his book on "War and Peace," was giving him a headache. While he wasn't about to read a book like the one Ronon had, maybe just maybe he thought, he might find a worthy book to appease his reading appetite.

Eyeing the scenery before approaching the pile of books stacked haphazardly in the middle of room, he noticed only a few lone stragglers, doing much of the same thing he was doing. Giving up on making a permanent spot on the wall, his shoulder was leaning against, he sauntered up to the stack, eyeing it casually.

A sign above the stack caught his attention.

Due the nature of lack of reading material on Atlantis, I, Dr. Weir, have authorized a book exchange to be set up. These books have been graciously donated and therefore are to be returned to the stack once you have finished reading it, for others to read.

Smiling, he began to run his hand over a few books with various romancy titles. Ah! So they weren't all romance. He found a couple which he thought should really belong in a library for geeks such as Zelenka and McKay.

Snatching up a book which looked promising, Sheppard gazed at its cover, "The Stolen Bride" by Jacqueline Diamond. He tossed the book back on the pile.

Nope!

Next he picked up a book with a man in a cowboy hat. Reading the cover Sheppard raised an eyebrow, "Heart of the West: It Takes A Cowboy" by Gina Wilkins. Flipping the book over he read the back.

"Every man has his price! Lost springs Ranch was famous for turning young mavericks into good men. So when word that the ranch was in financial trouble, it sent a heard of loyal bachelors stampeding back to Wyoming to put themselves on the auction block!"

Sheppard smiled and decided well it was a bit weird to read a romance but why not, it sounds okay, after all it's got cowboys in it. Then something caught his eye, a book with clouds for a background, which he had no doubt came from Rodney, "Relativistic Astrophysics (Cambridge Contemporary Astrophysics)" by Bernard J.T. Jones. Of course he could be wrong; there were so many scientists on Atlantis. Sheppard reached for it and picked it up, laughing he tossed it back on the stack, Rodney was such a geek, truly.

Then as he shuffled another book, his mouth dropped open, "Artistic Licence" by Vivienne LaFay, quickly flipping the book over Sheppard read the back.

Set in Renaissance Florence, this tells the story of Carla who dresses as a boy, calling herself Carlo, in order to pursue a career as an artist. Her cross-dressing only invites advances from both sexes, however, and her artistic progress is matched by her sexual education until she falls for Marco, a fellow artist. To reveal her sexy secret could mean sacrificing all for love.

Snorting at the book, he tossed it back into the pile. Whoever had owned that book had taken good care of it. There was only one folded down page throughout the book and he had found himself trying to read it but a shifting shadow on his right side made him think better of it and put it back.

At that moment Stackhouse walked by, almost tripping and upon seeing Sheppard reversed his direction going back out the way he came. Sheppard thought it was best to pretend he didn't notice.

He snorted silently, and tried to find something that was classified as sci fi or an action paced book. After several other books along the same nature of his Cowboy novel or that science one, he came across a particularly odd book.

Reading the title, "Kushiel's Dart" by Jacqueline Carey, Sheppard cocked an eyebrow, hm… Deciding maybe if his luck was holding, it might be a book to look into. Glancing around for safe measure, Sheppard flipped the book and read the back.

When Love cast me out, it was Cruelty who took pity on me.

The Land of Terre d'Ange is a place of unsurpassing beauty and grace. It is said that angels found the land and saw it was good...and the ensuing race that rose from the seed of the angles and men live by one simple rule: Love as thou wilt.

Phedre no Delaunay is a young woman who was born with a scarlet mote in her left eye. Sold into indentured servitude as a child, her bond is purchased by Anafiel Delaunay, a nobleman with a very special mission…

Okay okay, hurry up, mouthed Sheppard as his eyes skimmed down towards the end of the summary.

Set in a world of cunning poets, deadly courtiers, heroic traitors, and a truly Machiavellian villainess, this is a novel of grandeur, luxuriance, sacrifice, betrayal, and deeply laid conspiracies.

Sheppard dared to glance upward, only to meet the eyes of Lt. Cadman, who was eyeing the Artistic License novel. Sheppard quickly made a break for it with both the Cowboy novel and the Kushiel's Dart in hand, snorting again at the thought that Cadman would be reading that novel.

Once he had finally made it to his room, he realized he had two books, but the sign hadn't said how many you could take so; he didn't figure it would be a big deal.

"Sheppard?" beeped his com.

"Yeah?" drawled Sheppard while eyeing the Kushiel book.

"Your needed down in the lab. Rodney needs you to activate this device," spoke Radek.

Sheppard rolled his eyes, sighed and dropped the books on his bed. Without sparing a glance, Sheppard turned on his heel and left.

The Kushiel's Dart book, flipped open on its way onto the bed, tossing a scrape of rosy paper out of it into the air. Flitting down, the paper scrap rested under the edge of Sheppard's bed.

"Yeah I'm coming."

Later on in the evening

Sheppard had finally gotten time to himself, after McKay's fussing over him activating devices; he strolled back to his room and removed his jacket.

Taking off his com, Sheppard flopped on his bed, only to jump up, and pull two objects from underneath himself.

Oh right, the books. Hm, I wonder which one I should read, thought Sheppard as he picked up both books.

At first he was flipping open the cowboy book, but then the cover on the other made him think twice. Hastily stashing the book on his bedside table, Sheppard lay down on his bed, and opened 'Kushiel's Dart.'

…Bistre, then, rich and liquid dark; save for the left eye, where in the iris that ringed the black pupil, a fleck of color shone. And it shone red, and indeed, red is a poor word for the color it shone. Scarlet, call I, or crimson; redder than a rooster's wattles or the glazed apple in a pig's mouth. Thus did I enter the world, with an ill-luck name and a pinprick of blood emblazoned in my gaze…

Sheppard found the book enchanting, if a bit odd. He was not used to reading a book like this and he wasn't sure he found it all that interesting to begin with but before he knew it he had found himself lost to its pages, his mind yearning to learn of Phedre's fate.

Sheppard found by chapter 9 that he would not be putting the book down until he finished. So he quickly folded the corner of the page down and began to undress for bed. When he had finished he was wearing only a clean black T-shirt and his blue boxers.

Climbing back into his bed, Sheppard dimmed the lights, and pulled the sheets over himself. With a final stretch, he picked the book back up and continued reading.

One particular part towards the end of the chapter caught his attention and he found himself, holding his breath in anticipation as he read on.

…This is how we pray, who are Servants of Naamah.

Breaking the kiss, she knelt before him and flung her hair forward so it cascaded about his loins, silken tendrils twining about his erect…

Sheppard looked up, and found his eyes returning to the page.

…until she gasped, hands clenching against the working muscles of his back, her legs wrapped around him. He arched back then and held hard. I could feel the heat rising between my own…

At that moment, Sheppard's door chimed and he flung the book up in the air, having been startled. Composing himself, he reached for his sweatpants and pulled them on.

"Yeah...huff…whose…huff…there?" asked Sheppard, trying hard to control his breathing.

"It's McKay, Look I need you to come back to the lab."

Groan

"I know it's late but I figured you'd be up. Come on, I try to rarely ask you anymore to help activate devices. You know that," said Rodney.

Sheppard glanced once downward to make sure he hadn't…well…you get the picture. Returning back to his bed, Sheppard retorted, "Fine…huff…I'll be right there…huff…okay. Just give me…huff…a minute."

He quickly made sure the page was folded down and he hid the book under his covers just in case, and then quickly went out through his door bumping into Rodney on his way out.

"Jeez, McKay," grouched Sheppard as he rubbed his elbow.

Rodney stood there, eyeing Sheppard and taking in the sweating stink and haggard breathing.

"Um…on second thought…maybe I should come back later…you look…um…busy," said McKay, edging away towards the transport.

Sheppard's eyes narrowed, "What?"

Then it hit him, his breathing…his… "Wait, Rodney, it's not what you think."

Just as he saw the transport doors close, Rodney gave him a disgusted look.

Well so much for helping him out…thought Sheppard as he made a dash back to his room.

Dropping his pants on his chair, Sheppard got back into bed and picked up the book.

At last, thought Sheppard, as he returned to page 81, a slight grin on his face.

A/N: All of the books mentioned are real, except one, and you can get them online or in a bookstore. The fake book is "The Path That Is Not Always Clear" by Jane S.T. Andrews Farwry. I just made that one up. This is just a teaser. If you want more, review me!