For SanNami Week 2019: Prompt# 6 - Hug
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Nami was glad that everyone else had dropped off to sleep before her. It gave her some time alone with Sanji. She was tired out too, but a few quiet moments with him seemed worth losing a little sleep.
"Still hungry, Nami-san?"
She shook her head. "No. But I'll have some tea, if you're not too tired?"
"Right away! We'll have something with less caffeine in it…"
She watched as Sanji put water in a kettle to boil and extracted some tea sachets from a cupboard. He dropped the sachets into two empty cups and leaned against the counter. He gave a satisfied sigh and closed his eyes for a moment.
What did he look like without those long bangs? Nami suddenly wanted to know. Probably rather like that brother of his, Yonji. But better. Sanji was handsome, and having seen his siblings, Nami was prepared to say that it seemed to run in the family except that he'd gotten the largest share of good looks.
"What? Is something on my face?" Sanji rubbed his chin and cheeks.
"No, no. Just thinking, that's all."
"Thinking about?"
Maybe it was relief, or exhaustion, or maybe there was something in the air. But Nami felt like being frank for once.
"It's really good to have you back, Sanji-kun."
He almost dropped his cigarette. He stammered, "Na-nami-san! Is that a confes-"
Nami interrupted him. "It is not. Please don't ruin the mood."
Sanji gave an embarrassed laugh. "Sorry."
The kettle let out a little hoot. He took it off the stove and poured the hot water into the two cups before carefully pushing one over to Nami.
"Thanks," she said.
He sat down opposite her and stirred his tea. "I'm really glad to be back too."
After a few more quiet seconds, Nami said, "We were all pretty worried that you wouldn't come back."
"What? Why wouldn't I?"
"Well, as Brook put it, Pudding-chan is a very pretty girl. And she was sweet on you too."
"She's a nice girl," agreed Sanji. "But I wouldn't desert you all if it wasn't for – for the threat to Zeff…"
Nami raised the cup to her lips and took a tiny sip. The tea was still really hot. When it cooled a bit, it would make for a perfect before-bedtime drink.
"That's what we all hoped," she said. "I mean, you've never seemed like you'd leave us just for a pretty face despite all that stupid fawning you do sometimes."
Sanji made a face that was halfway between smile and grimace. "I'm glad you all think so."
"And besides, it's not like you kissed her or anything, right? So I can't imagine that you'd ditch us for no solid reason."
"Of course I didn't! Nothing happened…"
At that moment, a feeling of strangeness came over him. Like something was wrong. He frowned and stopped stirring his tea.
"What's wrong, Sanji-kun?"
"Nothing. I just – hmm, I just got a weird feeling."
A hazy image danced in his head. Grey fog. Puzzlement. The impression of incredible surprise.
"Weird feeling?"
Sanji drank some tea, still frowning. "It's rather like… Déjà vu? No, that's not it. It's as though I'm forgetting something."
Nami's fingers froze around her cup. Forgetting? Wait, had something happened? Sanji wasn't the type to just forget it if he'd kissed a pretty girl (or done more than kiss her). He couldn't forget something like that. But Pudding had memory control powers. And she had definitely liked Sanji.
"Weird," said Sanji with a shrug.
Perhaps… Perhaps something had actually happened between Sanji and Pudding. And Pudding had erased the memory of that Something. But Sanji was Sanji and since, as she herself acknowledged, he wasn't the type to easily forget a romantic interlude, perhaps he had retained some vague and tiny inkling of It in spite of Pudding's efforts to take it away.
"Nami-san?"
She became aware that she was sitting very straight, and all her muscles were tensed up. Sanji was looking at her with concern. Suddenly, she really wanted to know the answer.
"Sanji-kun," she said carefully, "did something happen between you and Pudding?"
"Something? What do you mean?"
"You – you got that 'weird feeling' when I mentioned kissing her. Did you –?"
"What? No, I didn't! I couldn't have! It's just a coincidence…"
"She has memory powers."
The strange hazy sensation was still there.
"I don't think she did anything to me."
"You said she'd fiddled with Reiju's memories too. Did Reiju seem to notice anything wrong?"
"Well, no…"
Sanji thought of the last time he saw Pudding. It felt like the haziness was clustered around it. She had looked a bit stressed. She'd asked him for a favour He'd been surprised. He'd asked what it was. But then she'd just shaken her head, smiled, and run off, leaving him confused.
"She couldn't have," he murmured. "Why…? If she did…"
Nami felt like she was being stabbed with a thousand knives. It was irrational. Why should she care if Something had really happened between them? Sanji was here with them now, not with her. So why did it hurt?
"Do you want to go back?" she asked.
"Huh?" Sanji snapped out of his thoughts. "Go back? Why? No. Why would I want to go back?"
"I don't know." Nami heard the bitterness seep into her voice and before she could stop herself, she continued, "Maybe you'd like to go back to your one true love, that pretty chocolatier."
"Nami-san? What are you saying? She's not my one true love!"
Nami turned the cup in her hands.
"Clearly, something happened. And clearly, Pudding took away that memory. And clearly, you retained a strong enough memory of it that even her taking it away didn't really take it away. So maybe – maybe it means that you have strong feelings for her too…"
Sanji was alarmed. And confused. Nami was saying some outrageous things. That couldn't have happened, and that couldn't be. Could it?
Nami got up abruptly and left the dining room.
"Nami-san! Wait!" Sanji darted after her. "You're tired, Nami-san. You're not thinking straight."
She was walking very quickly in the direction of her bedroom. "Am I? Tell me that what I'm suggesting is impossible. That you never kissed her or that you don't like her."
"Why are you so angry?"
That shook her. She stopped on the lawn deck.
"I'm not angry."
"You are."
"If I am, why would you care?" she snapped, turning to look at him. At that moment, Nami knew why she was angry, and why this upset her. She liked Sanji. Perhaps even loved him. It was a little frightening. And also irritating. It all only served to upset her more. "If it's because I'm one of the crew, you needn't worry. This'll blow over soon enough!"
Sanji's mouth set into a thin line. "I care because I don't love Pudding. You're right – I can't tell you that it's impossible that we never kissed because I just don't remember it. Maybe nothing happened at all! I only just got that weird feeling and maybe it's a sign that she meddled with my mind, or maybe it isn't. I don't know. I can't tell you that I don't like Pudding-chan because I do think she's a nice girl. But I can tell you that I don't love her. I…"
He bit his lip, realising he had been on the brink of admitting to Nami just how much he felt for her. He itched for a cigarette but realised that he'd left his pack in the dining room. Just his luck.
"You don't love Pudding?" said Nami.
Sanji looked at her. "I don't."
"Why?"
"What do you mean 'why'?"
"She's perfect for you. She's good in the kitchen. She seems nice. She likes you a lot."
He stuck his hands in his pockets and tapped the toe of his shoe against the foremast.
"So you think I should have feelings for Pudding?"
"Hard to believe you don't when someone that perfect was right in front of you."
"You think she's perfect for me." He continued the gentle kicking of the foremast. The rhythmic tapping sound was soothing somehow. "But, Nami-san… I think the perfect lady is right in front of me now."
There, he'd done it at last. Set foot on the road of no return.
"Huh?"
"Nami-san, don't you know by now that I love you?"
It was a relief to have said it, and it was utterly terrifying. She might run, she might laugh, she might deride him. But it could also go in the complete opposite direction. What a gamble this was…
"You love me?" Nami's legs felt like jelly, but she managed to hold herself upright. Was Sanji being honest now? He wasn't displaying his typical lovesick, lovestruck face. Nor was he sounding like he normally did.
"Ever since I laid eyes on you, and more deeply since then."
"I… I didn't realise…"
Sanji chuckled dryly. "Because I'm an idiot and I keep fawning over every pretty female in sight?"
She said nothing.
Only got myself to blame for this, he thought, as the chuckle turned into a wry smile. He ran a hand over his face. Maybe I should really rethink the swooning thing.
"You don't have to say anything, Nami-san. I just wanted you to know. Hopefully you'll believe me now when I say I'm not in love with Charlotte Pudding." He stopped kicking the foremast. "I'm going back to the dining room now. My cigarettes are in there. I'm sorry I caused you worry."
Nami heard rather than saw him walk away. She was staring in disbelief at her feet, feeling her heart rise and stick in her throat.
"What if – if I said that I love you?"
Sanji's footsteps stopped cold.
"Not that I actually do," added Nami hurriedly. "I mean, I don't know. I might. Just, uhm… It's just good to know you don't love her."
She sounded idiotic; she knew she did. Was this a confession? What was she confessing anyway? She certainly had feelings for him, but was it love?
Maybe, whispered the voice in her head.
"Do you mean it?"
Sanji was before her again, hands still in his pockets. He looked hopeful, but sounded cautious.
She hugged herself and rubbed her left elbow with her other hand, drawing a tiny bit of assurance from the action.
"I think I really like you, Sanji-kun," she said. "But I don't – I don't know for sure if – if I love you. I might… But I don't know – yet."
While this was not quite what he could have desired, this was above and beyond what Sanji had expected. He wished he dared to hug her. But that might be inappropriate. He longed to kiss her. That would definitely be inappropriate. Especially with that issue of Pudding possibly having kissed him… Nami might see it as offensive if he tried to kiss her now. Moreover, he got the sense that she was a little intimidated by her own feelings. Any sudden move could scare her off.
He settled for holding out a hand towards her.
Nami looked at the proffered hand, then at Sanji. He was smiling. She returned the smile, though more uncertainly. She put her hand in his outstretched one.
Instead of the handshake she expected, he covered her hand with both of his for a moment. He pressed her hand warmly, and then raised it and touched his lips to the back of her hand.
Nami gasped. It felt like lighting shot through her.
"That's enough for me to know right now, Nami-san. Thank you for saying it."
He released her hand.
To his surprise and delight, Nami threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. Sanji thought he would die of happiness. Nami-san was in his arms and she was glad he was back and ohhh she felt so soft and warm and she smelled of tangerines and some very nice shampoo…
"I'm so happy you're back." She spoke it into his shoulder, so it was muffled, but he could hear it nonetheless.
He held her to him, murmuring his agreement into her hair.
They stayed that way for a while, letting the sounds of the ship and the ocean wash over them.
It was, Nami thought, just so comfortable to be held like that. Sanji's shirt was smooth against her cheek and she could feel his heartbeat. And had Sanji always had such a broad chest? Also, it felt really nice to have him rub her back. It was… Soothing.
Sanji was glad he'd left his cigarettes in the dining room. Having one in his mouth would have spoilt the moment. He could nuzzle her hair without obstruction, lay his cheek on her head without worrying about dropping cigarette ash on her hair (or worse, setting her hair aflame). It would be totally worth it to give up smoking for this closeness. This was bliss.
Then Nami moved away from him. He was disappointed, but the disappointment ended when he realised that she was letting him keep a hold of one hand.
"What now?" she asked.
Sanji answered, "It's up to you."
"Me?"
"I know what I would like," he said, slowly. He moved his thumb across her hand, and the soft motion sent funny thrills up her spine. "Though how that works out on a pirate ship, I don't know. Not exactly easy to go on dates and woo a lady when we're chasing down treasure and being chased by other people."
"We can try…?"
He looked at her. Her eyes were on their joined hands. He stopped brushing his thumb across her hand, squeezed her hand a little, and said, "Only if that's what you want."
"Yes."
"Yes?" He couldn't keep the joy out of his voice. "Really?"
"Yes, really."
Her lips – oh, those beautiful lips – formed a smile that set his heart going a million miles an hour.
"So," he said, almost unable to believe it, "does this mean that – are we…?"
She brushed some flyaway strands of hair from her face. "I think we are?"
To her surprise, Sanji just stood there, looking as though he would burst. She'd expected him to explode with such exuberance that she'd have to knee him in a sensitive place in order to calm him down. But there he was, just gazing at her with a bright expression that she didn't think she'd seen before.
"Sanji-kun?"
"I'm so happy right now that I don't know what to do."
Nami laughed. All the tension that had been pent up inside her melted away. She let go of his hand and moved closer, saying, "For starters, maybe you could kiss me?"
Sanji went pink in the face. "Do you want me to? Really? Even though… Uhm, the Pudding thing…"
Oh. That. She'd forgotten about it momentarily.
Sanji could've kicked himself. He shouldn't have brought it up. Stupid move! Now she was thinking about it again. Argh, why had he said that?
She took a deep breath. "Well… It might not have happened at all. As you said."
He nodded.
"And if it did happen…" She seemed to be studying the buttons on his shirt. "Perhaps you just need to erase that awful thought from my mind with something better."
That did it for him. Sanji took her face in his hands, tilting it up to meet his own, and kissed her. He meant it to be soft, romantic. But the second she leaned into him, he forgot about being soft and romantic. He kissed her deeply, pouring heart and soul into it.
She gripped his shirt, ran her fingers through his hair. He trailed his lips across the exposed part of her shoulder before finding her mouth again and capturing it in another deep, hungry kiss. When her hands came up to touch, slide up his neck to his jaw, he couldn't help a sigh and a shudder of satisfaction.
Her shoulders hit the nearest wall, but neither of them really noticed. He brushed his lips against hers in teasing, feathery touches. She tugged at his collar. Then he moved in again for a kiss that was hard and soft all at the same time, relishing the way she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer to her.
Gradually, the kisses slowed and lightened. Sanji pressed a last kiss to her mouth and her brow.
"That was… Something," said Nami at last, a little breathlessly.
"That was the goal," he said with a grin.
Sanji noticed that the dining room door was still open. He glanced at her. "Do… Do you want to go finish the tea? It's probably cold by now but I'll boil more water if you'd like."
"Are you asking me on a date, Sanji-kun? At this ungodly hour of the night?"
"Does it count as a date?"
"Mmm, I don't see why not."
"As my beautiful girlfriend wishes then." He offered her his arm. "Let's go have some tea, shall we?"
She looped her arm through his. "Let's."
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A/N: I meant to write this in 2 hours. It was supposed to be fast, and short. It ended up taking 6-7 hours in total. Most of that time was spent on the last 500-something words. Drove me nuts. My apologies if it fell a bit flat at the end, but I hope someone out there enjoyed it anyway! Thank you for reading :)