WARNING! If you don't like explict content, such as sexuality, drug use, and yaoi, then go somewhere else. I like touching upon controversial subjects because...well, thats life. Either read something else or grow some balls. Kthxbai :

Note: I do not own the Legend of Zelda, nor am involved with its production in any way, shape or form. This story is a product of my boredom and free time, not Nintendo. Thus, in conclusion whilst I do not own Nintendo, neither does Nintendo own me! Hah. Take that. : Also, as to prevent confusions and question in the R&R section, this story takes place after OoT. Link and Malon are an item in this FF. Also, Link, Malon, and Zelda are all the age of 19, since theoretically Link is in OoT. Malon and Zelda were just...a wild guess? Bwhaha. This is a serious fan fic, but also with some randomness and comedy in it, because I didn't want to write a DEAD SERIOUS fan fic but I didn't want it to be all giggles either.
Like I said, there is alot of touchy issues the characters face in this story, so beware.

Zelda: Pssh...can't I be 21 in this one? Princess over here needs to have some fun!
Me: Oh, don't worry Princess. See the R rating? Oh yeah, believe me you'll definetly love this one.
Zelda: Well alright.
Link: Do I get laid?
Me: Plenty! I promise you will get your brains fucked out just plenty. Trust me.
Link: Word...hell yeah!

A Slight Addiction

Baby will you be my corona and lime?
And I will be your main squeeze.
And if your brother don't like my style.
We could take it to the street.

:CHAPTER ONE:

"Your cute when your angry"
"Shut up, smartass"
"What? Why you gotta be so mean?" Link pouted outs his bottom lip. "I told you...I had no idea. I thought her leg was fine. She only knocked it off the fence a bit when I was training at the castle's obstacle course. I had to keep goin..." "NO, you didn't! And you didn't have to stay there for like, 3 hours afterwards either! Did you even check Epona's leg after it happened?" Malon gave her boyfriend a fierce glare. "Don't neglect my Epona...you know how I feel about that"
Link stroked her face softly and gave her a sincerely remoseful look. "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to be so careless.
I'll ride another horse over to Kakariko right quick and get some blue potion to apply on her wound."

"The royal ball at Hyrule Castle is tommorow and we need Epona to pull our coach. She's our finest horse." "Well..." Malon sighed and turned to him. "Y'know..." a playful smirk crept upon her face. "I was hoping to spend some alone time with you...so why don't you hurry?" She kissed him softly on the cheek and slowly crept her hand down to his perfectly chiseled torso as she ran her finger across it. "It's been a long week...we're always so busy, me working the ranch, you always out and about..." Link shivered with pleasure and suddenly lept back. "I'll be RIGHT BACK." He yelled back as he practically ran out the door. Malon laughed. "Horny little fairy boy, isnt he? Hehe..."

Link saddled up Bane, one of the other horses, and mounted him. As he rode off into the vast and almost endless Hyrule Field,
various thoughts filled his head. He had been wanting to propose to Malon for almost 6 months now, and still did not have the balls nor know how he should do it. He wanted it to be the most romantic thing she could imagine, but then again Link was a little troubled in that department. He was, of course, a passionate lover. He loved Malon more than anything. And of course, he was AMAZING in bed. But he had trouble opening up. And proposing to Malon was the scariest thing in the world to him. Wonder she wasn't prepared? He knew deep down that of course, she would accept, and probably cry him a river of joy when it happened...but wonder she was just as scared as him? "Thats it.." Link mumbled to himself as he approached the staircase leading up to Kakariko. "I'll get her an engagement ring this week. I have to do this." He sighed as he hopped off Bane and began climbing up towards Kakariko. "I just need to grow some balls...er, more balls..."

Meanwhile, at Hyrule Caste, everyone was preparing for the ball.

"No, NO! That won't do!" Princess Zelda frantically yelled at her servants. Everyone at Hyrule Castle had been dilegently preparing for the ball, and, as usual, Zelda was throwing a complete and utter fit over its decorations and accomadations.
"The chandelier in our ballroom has DIAMONDS and OPALS dangling from it, not RUBY or SAPPHIRE." She sighed and shook her head. "C'mon guys...please! I want to see more soft pink and white and less red and blue!" There was a feeling of franticness in the air. The normally soft spoken Princess Zelda always turned into a mad women when it came down to preparing for any kind of ball that she had any control over. Usually the King and Queen of Hyrule planned it, but they were out in the Gerudo Desert signing a peace treaty with the Gerudos. And since it was HER complete duty to run this ball, she was fashioning it to her liking.

"Princess." Zelda turned to face Xavier, one of the gaurds at the castle. He held a scroll in his hand. "And I assume that this is..." "Yes. This is the contents of everything that was delivered and stored in the cellar. It is as follows...Fruit cocktails specially made from fruits grown in the Lost Woods, Lon Lon Ranch's finest dairy products...the finest meats, packaged and delievered from Kakariko, and..." The gaurd paused mid sentence suddely...Hyrules finest hundred proof vodka, and rum straight from the Gerudo Fortress? Princess! The King and Queen would never-" "EXACTLY!" Zelda suddenly exploded, causing everyone to turn heads. "Now, you listen here mister fuckin' enforcer! I'm NINTEEN YEARS OLD! And I NEVER get to have any form of "fun" around here! You try sitting around all day and listen to the King and Queen of Hyrule blab on and on about how 'oh, you have to do this when you rule Hyrule' and 'oh no, you can't do that once you rule Hyrule' and...AH! Do you know how ANNOYING it is?" The room was silent. Xavier looked like he was shaking in his boots. Zelda's blues eyes were fixed on his own, staring deep into his soul coldly. "WELL?!" Xavier's mouth was gaping open, a mixed look of shock and intimedation for fear or losing his head. The princess suddenly sighed and pushed her long blonde lockes out of her face. "Well?" her voice was now cool and calm once again. Xavier regained his posture. "No, m'lady. I apoligize." "Good. Thank you Xavier. I'm sorry about that. Now..please get back to work. We only have less than 24 hours to finish up for out big party tommorow!"

Back at Lon Lon Ranch, Link had returned several hours ago, and the various noises hear from Link and Malon's bedroom has just ceased.

Link rolled over and smiled as he stroked Malon's stomach. "I think your a slave to my penis." Link said jokingly. "Even if we weren't together, you would still be my whore forever." Malon punched Link playfully in the chest. "Nuh-uh!" He giggled, and then suddenly got very serious. "Babe, look at me." "As Malon turned her face to meet that of her lover's, their eyes locked. Link looked so at peace. "You're so beatiful..." he whispered in her ear as he gave it a slight nibble. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Your so kind, smart, sweet, gorgeous...and the list goes on and on and on and...yeah." He kissed her passionetly and the pulled away suddenly so as to speak again. "Malon...I am so in love with you it drives me crazy." Malon blushed. "Awww jesus Link, why do you have to be so damn cute..." She looked deep into his eyes and sighed. "Theres been something I've been wanting to talk to you about for awhile." Link tilted his head like a confused puppy. "What is it, baby?" "It's just...sometimes I just...think...well...I'm so scared one of us is gonna get hurt. Even though I know you would never do that to me, and I could never...but...I don't know, sometimes I think you deserve someone better...like Zelda or something..." "ZELDA?" Link looked shocked and a bit offended. "Zelda's like a sister to..." "NO, no! It's not Zelda! I love Zelda, that's one of my close friends as well, you know that. All I'm saying is...your the Hero of Time, and I'm just a plain old farm girl!"

"JUST a farm girl? Psshh...That means NOTHING to me!! Malon, I love you, and thats never, ever, ever, EVER gonna change!" Link suddenly came to life. "Malon...you gotta understand. Who was the first person I connected when I came to Hyrule? Well...besides that creepy talking owl...YOU! You accepted me when everyone else just saw me as the weird boy who ventured too far out of his boundaries, the Kokori Forest! Your everything to me!" Malon chuckled slightly and kissed him on the neck. "Yeah...my little fairy boy." For a moment their was silence, and finally Malon said "Do you really feel that way?" he nodded sincerly and put on a playful grin that made him look like a kid all over again. "Did I stutter, bitch?" "Oh, you stop that Link." They both laughed, exchanged glances one last time, and fell asleep in eachothers arms.

Author: Sorry, a bit short? Yeah, and it deffinetly won't be this lame/ewey gooey lovey dovey the whole time. Trust me, I can't write some lame romance story. There will be some action! Yeah. So...uh...just come back to check for chapter additions and R&R please? Criticism accepted, this is my first FF in like 3 years. Thank you :)