When You're Emrys

by Aaronna

This is a parody of Voltaire's "When You're Evil", but Merlin themed. Written in 20 minutes. Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or the song.

When the Druids are too busy

And Knights are a bit too much

They call on me by name, you see

For my special touch

To the Commoners, I'm just Merlin

To the Court, I'm the Idiot

But call me by any name

Anyway, it's all the same

I'm who made your soup

I'm who mends your shoe

I'm who hides beneath your bed

I'm who you bump on the head

I'm the one who always trips

I'm seemingly attached to your hip

I'm ever by your side

As you make me giggle and whine

But life isn't easy when you're Emrys

This is my life, you see

Kilgharrah dips his head to me

I do it all because I'm Emrys

And I do it all for free

Your joy is all the pay I'll ever need

While there's king to make glad

While there's arguments to be had

While there's herbs left to pick

While there's new ways to trip down the stairs

I'll be there, I'll be waiting to give counsel

It's a game, and I'm stuck in it

'Cause Morgana will be here any minute

But life isn't easy when you're Emrys

This is my life, you see

Kilgharrah dips his head to me

I do it all because I'm Emrys

And I do it all for free

Your joy is all the pay I'll ever need

I pledge my allegiance, to the future king

And I promise on my dragon soul

To do as I am told, the Triple Goddess

Has never seen a warlock quite like me

Not only does his job, but does it happily

I'm the one that keeps you safe

I'm the most powerful of all

I'm the monster they all fear

I'm the nightmare of Morgana

I keep the dagger from your back

I'll take your turn on the rack

I have magic pumping through my heart

A falling limb, a burning hilt

But life isn't easy when you're Emrys

This is the life, you see

Kilgharrah dips his head to me

I do it all because I'm Emrys

And I do it all for free

Your joy is all the pay I'll ever need

And I do it all for free

Your joy is all the pay I'll ever need

And I do it all for free

Your joy is all the pay I'll ever need

It gets so lonely being Emrys

What I'd do to see Freya's smile

Even for a little while

You lose those you loves when you're Emrys

I'd be lying through my teeth!

If I said you are all the company I need