Disclaimer: Don't own anything related to X-Men…
A/N: Thanks to Phuong for being my beta-reader although he doesn't realize it… "Ha ha"… okay, anyway. I hope you enjoy reading this. I enjoyed writing it (for once). Some of the phrases in this story are taken from some of the Uncanny X-Men comics… although I really can't remember which ones… but this quote: Jean: "I have to go… Cyclops is waiting for me…" Logan: "So am I…" kind of inspired this story… sorry for the ranting… moving on… oh right, I know there were a lot more women in Logan's life, but I only included a few.
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Appointment With Love
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How much of human life is lost in waiting?
I am currently meditating, waiting for inner peace to come find me. I waited all these years to find a woman I could say I loved, and I did. I never thought I'd ever live to see the day that someone could mentally change me in such a way that I would not recognize myself anymore, because I vowed that no one like that would be worth my time. I was wrong-she came along and changed everything about me I ever thought was worth anything even though I had vowed that nobody would ever be allowed to do that. I allowed her, because I… loved her. She showed me that some people are worth the wait, and so I waited for her to fall in love with me; it didn't take that long (Well, I always did think I was pretty cute). Of course that meant I had to wait for her to get her life straightened out so that we could get married, but another guy beat me to that, and I had to wait a bit longer for our relationship to work out.
They say patience is a virtue, so I waited a bit longer. If I was my old self, I would have killed her husband the instant I saw first him and found out what he had done to Mariko, but I wasn't my old self anymore. She asked me to stop, and I did, because her wish is my command. I always wanted her to be happy. Moving on. We were going to get married, and I knew that she was definitely worth the wait. We didn't get married, and if she was still alive today, I know that I would have waited forever for her to say yes. So I waited even longer, but before you can say "beer," she was poisoned, and I could not let her wait for death to come, so she asked me to kill her, and I did. She was definitely worth the wait, but I had waited for too long.
I've always been waiting for Jean, and so has Scott, but Scott will always have Jean in his life. The only moments I'll ever share with Jean are stolen moments-Moments that I should not be sharing with her at all.
I remember Silver Fox, but of course, all the women who ever walk by me in my life end up getting killed or something of the like. We spent a long time waiting for the memories to resurface, but then she was killed.
I wonder though, what if I had said: "When I live, you can't die." Would that bring all those women back to life? I think it would have been better for them if we had never met at all. Then they probably wouldn't have had their lives stolen from them. Of course, there are all those times when I wait a bit too long, and when I turn around, she's already gone, or someone else has stolen her heart, but that's life for you, isn't it?
Now I'm currently smitten with 'Ro. I guess you just have to love the one you're with, and love them with all your heart. Then you wait for the day they say those dreaded words or end up buried six-feet under. Your body moves on, but your soul will always stay with them, no matter what. You probably think something's wrong with me, y'know: "Wolverine: he's the best there is at what he does." "Wolverine: the killing machine." But I'm still human just like the rest of you all. I still have feelings. I still hurt just like the rest of you all. 'Course 'Ro will get bored of me eventually, and we'll split...
So I'll always be waiting for someone to love… (And someone to attack).