"I'm sorry Remus." I paused in my perusal of Harry's photo album and looked up.
"What for?" I asked while racking my brain for anything he may have done lately. He is thinking now, choosing his next words carefully, I take this time to look at him. Actually look at him, not glance at him like many others do. His eyes are a dull green and his skin is pasty white, pulled taught around his cheekbones. I'll have to make sure the Dursley's are feeding him correctly this time.
I am worried about him. He will live through the loss of Sirius this I know; he has some purpose that only he knows. There is something left for him to do before he will be allowed to leave this mortal plane. That's a morbid thought I reflect in surprise but perfectly suited for a description of Harry. His green eyes are weary; a tortured soul looks at me through Harry's eyes. While I wish that all of what is in his eyes was caused by the death of Sirius I know it is not. There is something else that is doing this to him. I wish not for the first time Dumbledore would tell me what he said to Harry after the Ministry battle. But he just looks at me sadly and says in his gentlest voice. That is for Harry to tell, But Harry is not telling anyone, and seems to want to keep it to himself until his end. More morbid thoughts, but no less true.
"For playing the hero and getting Sirius killed." I gasp softly. My eyes I know are softening into a look of compassion and love. He's said Sirius's name. It is the first time I have heard it since what happened in the ministry. I can say it all I want to myself, but hearing it aloud, and hearing it from Harry brings memories to the front of my mind. Memories long thought lost to time. Memories about a lost little boy whose dream had come true, he was going to Hogwarts, despite being a werewolf! And a sad boy whose future seemed to hold nothing for him but death and destruction.
I stumbled into a compartment having just avoided being run over by an energetic boy running up and down the Hogwart's Express corridor. I rolled my eyes and looked into whoever's compartment I had rudely stumbled into. Only to see one boy, about my age with his forehead pressed to the windowpane and knees drawn up to his chest.
"Er.. Sorry for budging into your compartment but do you mind if I sit with you here? I'd rather not risk getting run over again" I said with a shaky smile. He finally looked up to me and I noticed for the first time that his eyes are a fathomless black… Why do I always notice the eyes first? He looks me over and nods slightly.
"Thanks" I say in gratitude I pull my trunk into the compartment and quickly stowed it. I sat down across from him and tried to think of something to say to the boy that was watching my every move. "So… um.. I am Remus Lupin, what's your name?" I finally asked after an awkward silence.
"Sirius…" he pauses and I wonder why .. "Sirius Black" he watches me expectantly. I wonder not for the first time why. Was it supposed to mean something to me?
"Er… well are you a first year also?" I ask the question despite already knowing the answer; his robes do not have any sort of house affiliation and are as plain as mine. His eyes widen slightly and he looks at me queerly, I am put off by that, what have I done that would cause him to look at me like that? I run my hand through my hair just to make sure there is nothing sitting in it or at the very least that it is still there.
"Yes, yes I am," he opened his mouth, to say something more I supposed, but closed it just as quickly. I was about to ask him about his hopes for a house when he blurted something out suddenly, "My last name is Black and you haven't gone running out of the door yet." At this I burst out laughing, rather unnatural for me really, laughing like that, but then again being this friendly and open is also.
"Why would your last name cause me to run from the compartment?" I ask still laughing somewhat and rubbing the tears from my eyes. He looks at me piercingly, much more piercingly than any eleven year old should be allowed to do, shifted slightly and answered,
"My family has something of a reputation," I pause at this,
"A reputation for what?"
"For being nasty and evil pureblood elitists." I am shocked for a moment that any other eleven year old knows what elitist mean, but then again Sirius is not looking to be like any other eleven year old I have ever met.
"Well you don't seem evil to me," ahh the irony I think to myself, a dark creature telling someone they don't look evil. I of all people should know that appearances can be deceiving, but he really isn't that way. He hasn't laughed at the streak of grey in my sandy brown hair anyways yet. He eyes got round and he starts laughing, which makes me start laughing. This cannot be productive. I figure I had better get control of the situation, "well you don't." He slowly stops laughing and gazes at me with a new look in his eyes. His black eyes suddenly don't seem so forbidding
"Thank you for that, the last three people who have entered my compartment have immediately ran off after seeing me." I am at loss for a moment on how to respond to that, people can be cruel sometimes, and I vowed to make this person my friend.
"Well I suppose then that you are welcome… So what house do you think you are going to be in? Personally I rather like Gryffindor and Ravenclaw" A part of my mind whispers that dark creatures go to dark houses and that Slytherin is the one for me, but I close that thought off before it can affect me.
"Well" he starts slowly choosing his words carefully, "my family has all been in Slytherin, so I am expected to be in Slytherin as well,"
"Well that's nice and well but what do YOU want to be in" I asked making sure to put the emphasis on you. He smiled at me again and I felt as if I had passed some sort of test.
"Gryffindor looks the best to me. Hufflepuff seems too, soft, for me." I have to agree with him, although there is much to be said for being loyal.
"True, so do you pla-" I stop as the door to our compartment is opened suddenly. Standing at the entrance is a boy (first year also I note), with black eerie eyes, a hooked nose and sallow complexion; his black hair is short and undeniably greasy.
"Hello Black, I was told I would find you here by several frightened first years. I hope that you will be in Slythein with the rest of us." He seemed to either be ignoring me or have not yet realized I was sitting in the compartment at all. I pondered for a short amount of time what he meant by 'us', but figured I was better off not knowing. Sirius got a disgusted look on his face.
"Come off it Snape you know I don't go for all that crap" Snape looked infuriated
"I had known yes, but had rather hoped it had been a lie." I chuckled slightly he sounded like he was trying to sound twenty years older than he really was, "had rather hoped" I mean REALLY.
"Well it wasn't so get out of here and make sure the rest know, you slimy Slytherin." He looked amused at this and replied before walking out,
"Slimy Slytherin eh? Seeing as you haven't been sorted yet I wouldn't be saying too much about Slytherin. The others will be notified of this…setback"
I couldn't help after he left I started laughing, Sirius obviously did not see anything funny about the entire meeting and looked at me like I had gone insane.
"Had rather hoped, the others will be notified," I said mocking Snape. I stopped laughing however and asked, "So who was the git?" Sirius seemed amused by this,
"His name is Severus Snape and my family, has rather…close ties with his, my parents used to send me to his house every once and a while for a play date, it was horrible, I think they were hoping he would rub off on me. I am the black sheep…though perhaps the white sheep would a better reference, of the family." At this point I couldn't help it,
"Now him, he seemed evil," and we both burst out laughing. From then on all anybody had to say was "seem evil" and we would start laughing.
I realized I had been day dreaming a little too long and Harry looking down with a defeated look about him
"Harry," I said, he looked back up, "It is not your fault. Sirius went there knowing that he could die. He knew every time he went to see you that he could get caught. He knew all that, but he did it because he loved you," I paused and doing something I had been reserved not to do, because with all my experience with 15 year old boys, they do not like to be hugged, I hugged Harry tightly and whispered in his ear "He loved you Harry, and he would have done it again to save you. Don't let his love die Harry." I could feel tears welling up, but was reluctant to let them fall, because one thing Harry did not need standing in his room was a bawling werewolf. But then he started crying and it was just not a werewolf in a room crying, it was a fifteen-year old boy crying while being held by a crying werewolf. Finally properly mourning someone they had both loved, one as a brother and the other as a father. I resolved there and then that I would not let Harry do whatever he had to do alone. I would help him in anyway I could. When our tears had run out and I released Harry (and he let go of me) I whispered into the room,
"Now Draco Malfoy, he seems evil," and despite not knowing what in the world I was talking about Harry started laughing, and I started laughing too because I knew what it meant, and knew that soon Harry would also.