Futurama: "Them vs. Us"
Started: March12, 2004
Finished: March 21, 2004
Chapter 1:
Bender, Fry and Amy sit on the couch. Leela walks in from the kitchen holding a can of Slurm.
"What are you guys watching?" she asks.
"Can't talk, TV..." Fry trials off.
"All My Circuits," Bender replies.
The voice on the television announces, "We now return to ... All My Circuits."
Calculon: "Doctor, what has happened?!"
Doc: "It appears somebody has - ERASED his memory!"
Calculon: "Who would do such an evil, vile thing to a fellow robot? To destroy the thing that one would hold so dearly?!" he over dramatizes.
Doc: "Shakes his head, "I don't know," and inserts a Windows 3002 disc. The robot makes a Windows "start up" sound.
"You people should be ashamed of yourself, you..."
"You would think that, but no," says Fry.
"I'm a robot; I'm not programmed for shame," he scratches his crotch.
"Think of what the Professor would say," comments Leela.
"Nah," says Amy.
The door slides open and in walks the professor.
"Good news everybody!"
"What is it Professor? Did your new collection of assorted wires come in?"
"Even better! I am going to be able to cut the business operating cost by 50%!"
"Wow, how did you do it?" asks Fry.
"By downsizing. Fry, Amy, Scruffy, you're all fired. Er, ah, sorry."
"Hey! That's not good news!" says Fry.
"It is to my space wallet," replies the professor.
"How come?" demands Leela.
"The competition," replies the professor.
"Wait - Planet Express doesn't have any local competition. What gives?" asks Fry.
"Welfare if you bums don't find work," says Bender.
"A month ago Planet Hoppers opened up, attracting customers with their shinny red ship, lower prices and employees who don't routinely die while on duty," says the professor.
"Routinely die?" comments Fry.
"Anyway, I had to slash the budget just to make end means."
"So what does that make us?" asks Fry.
"Screwed I suppose," says the professor.
"Ha! Ha! I got a job and you guys don't! Don't let the door slide shut on your ass on the way out," Bender says. ((((()))))
"Well, can't you keep us here util we find some other line of work?" questions Fry.
"Probably, but think of all the money I will lose."
"I can't find other work. I'm not qualified for anything. I'm not even qualified for this job!" says Amy.
"We can't let them do this to us. Sure our prices are higher. Sure our service is spotty at best. Sure 50% of the time cargo doesn't reach it's intended destination," Leela exclaims.
The door slides open and in walks Hermies. He speaks up, "Who wants their 'I'm Fired' T-shirts?
No on says anything.
"Here you go Fry. It's spandex, for when you get older and lose your dreams and hopes and eat your way to happiness. And Amy, don't think I forgot about you. Here's a pretty pink table top," he holds it against her. It says, "Recently Canned".
"I skimped on quality, so what ever you do, don't actually wear them," says the professor.
"Where's Scruffy?" asks Hermies.
"Over here," he replies.
"This one's especially for you. Appropriate is it not?" he gives it to Scruffy.
Scruffy holds it up. It reads, "Kicked the Bucket"
"Scruffy is disillusioned."
"Hey! How come everyone else gets a T-shirt? What about Bender? I'm a T-shirt sort of guy."
"Sorry, only laid off personal get one," replies the professor.
"That's not right! I demand I get a shirt!" Bender demands.
The Professor responds, "So you want to be fired too?"
"Damned straight! Bring it on!" exclaims Bender.
"What ever you say," he takes a shirt from Hermies and hands it to Bender, "congratulations, you're fired."
"Owww ... who would have thought material wealth would not brig me happiness," says a disenchanted Bender.
"Ahhh ... 60%..." says the professor.
"Everyone, take off those T-shirts!" commands Leela.
Everyone does. Bender stops struggling with his to pay attention.
"We need to come up with a strategy," says Leela.
"Leela's right!" Fry stand up proudly, "tomorrow I'll actually buy a news paper to search for jobs!"
Leela takes a shirt, rolls it and whip-snaps Fry on the behind.
"Ow..." moans Fry.
"Maybe if we go over there and ask them to quit it real politely," says the Professor.
"That may not work, in mean time we need to shape up and find out all we can about Planet Hoppers," Leela says and stands up to take charge.
Fry lets down a small electronic note pad and pen, "Wait, what was that first part again?"
Started: March12, 2004
Finished: March 21, 2004
Chapter 1:
Bender, Fry and Amy sit on the couch. Leela walks in from the kitchen holding a can of Slurm.
"What are you guys watching?" she asks.
"Can't talk, TV..." Fry trials off.
"All My Circuits," Bender replies.
The voice on the television announces, "We now return to ... All My Circuits."
Calculon: "Doctor, what has happened?!"
Doc: "It appears somebody has - ERASED his memory!"
Calculon: "Who would do such an evil, vile thing to a fellow robot? To destroy the thing that one would hold so dearly?!" he over dramatizes.
Doc: "Shakes his head, "I don't know," and inserts a Windows 3002 disc. The robot makes a Windows "start up" sound.
"You people should be ashamed of yourself, you..."
"You would think that, but no," says Fry.
"I'm a robot; I'm not programmed for shame," he scratches his crotch.
"Think of what the Professor would say," comments Leela.
"Nah," says Amy.
The door slides open and in walks the professor.
"Good news everybody!"
"What is it Professor? Did your new collection of assorted wires come in?"
"Even better! I am going to be able to cut the business operating cost by 50%!"
"Wow, how did you do it?" asks Fry.
"By downsizing. Fry, Amy, Scruffy, you're all fired. Er, ah, sorry."
"Hey! That's not good news!" says Fry.
"It is to my space wallet," replies the professor.
"How come?" demands Leela.
"The competition," replies the professor.
"Wait - Planet Express doesn't have any local competition. What gives?" asks Fry.
"Welfare if you bums don't find work," says Bender.
"A month ago Planet Hoppers opened up, attracting customers with their shinny red ship, lower prices and employees who don't routinely die while on duty," says the professor.
"Routinely die?" comments Fry.
"Anyway, I had to slash the budget just to make end means."
"So what does that make us?" asks Fry.
"Screwed I suppose," says the professor.
"Ha! Ha! I got a job and you guys don't! Don't let the door slide shut on your ass on the way out," Bender says. ((((()))))
"Well, can't you keep us here util we find some other line of work?" questions Fry.
"Probably, but think of all the money I will lose."
"I can't find other work. I'm not qualified for anything. I'm not even qualified for this job!" says Amy.
"We can't let them do this to us. Sure our prices are higher. Sure our service is spotty at best. Sure 50% of the time cargo doesn't reach it's intended destination," Leela exclaims.
The door slides open and in walks Hermies. He speaks up, "Who wants their 'I'm Fired' T-shirts?
No on says anything.
"Here you go Fry. It's spandex, for when you get older and lose your dreams and hopes and eat your way to happiness. And Amy, don't think I forgot about you. Here's a pretty pink table top," he holds it against her. It says, "Recently Canned".
"I skimped on quality, so what ever you do, don't actually wear them," says the professor.
"Where's Scruffy?" asks Hermies.
"Over here," he replies.
"This one's especially for you. Appropriate is it not?" he gives it to Scruffy.
Scruffy holds it up. It reads, "Kicked the Bucket"
"Scruffy is disillusioned."
"Hey! How come everyone else gets a T-shirt? What about Bender? I'm a T-shirt sort of guy."
"Sorry, only laid off personal get one," replies the professor.
"That's not right! I demand I get a shirt!" Bender demands.
The Professor responds, "So you want to be fired too?"
"Damned straight! Bring it on!" exclaims Bender.
"What ever you say," he takes a shirt from Hermies and hands it to Bender, "congratulations, you're fired."
"Owww ... who would have thought material wealth would not brig me happiness," says a disenchanted Bender.
"Ahhh ... 60%..." says the professor.
"Everyone, take off those T-shirts!" commands Leela.
Everyone does. Bender stops struggling with his to pay attention.
"We need to come up with a strategy," says Leela.
"Leela's right!" Fry stand up proudly, "tomorrow I'll actually buy a news paper to search for jobs!"
Leela takes a shirt, rolls it and whip-snaps Fry on the behind.
"Ow..." moans Fry.
"Maybe if we go over there and ask them to quit it real politely," says the Professor.
"That may not work, in mean time we need to shape up and find out all we can about Planet Hoppers," Leela says and stands up to take charge.
Fry lets down a small electronic note pad and pen, "Wait, what was that first part again?"