A/N: Reading 'The Shadows' up to chapter fourteen is pretty much a must for understanding this. I wanted to do something a little different when writing this particular scene. There have been so many negatives in recent chapters that I wanted to soften the blow, so to speak. This came to mind. Not wanting to throw off the flow of the story, I've decided to have it as a separate. Thanks to all who read. :)
Daddy
I can hear singing. It's the man that calls himself Daddy. He doesn't sound right, though. He sounds like Mommy did when she showed me off to the funny looking man. Uncle Phil. She was crying. Is Daddy crying?
Why is he crying?
I'm flying through the air. He's holding me and I see his face. I try to touch it but my hand won't follow instructions. I tap his chin, though, and he smiles at me.
I like Daddy's smiles.
"How's Daddy's little sweetheart?" he asks.
I wriggle in his arms. I love when he holds me. It's not the same as Mommy. I'm fine, Daddy. Why did you wake me up?
"You're going on a little trip."
Trip? What's a trip? Are you going too? Better bring Mommy. She's got the food.
"Daddy's going to stay here with your uncles."
Well, poop. Who's going to sing to me? I love Mommy and everything, but she doesn't sing like Daddy.
"We have to take care of the bad guys. But I'll get to you as soon as I can."
Bad guys? What are bad guys? Why can't you come too?
"Mommy's going to keep you safe." He kisses my cheek. "I need you to take care of Mommy, okay?"
Daddy… Don't cry. I don't like how I'm feeling now. What's it called? I'm not happy. I'm not tired. I'm not hungry. What am I feeling? Take it away, Daddy. Fix it.
"It's okay, sweetheart." His voice sounds strange.
No, I really don't like this.
He brings me up for a kiss. I'm on his chest now. I can hear his heartbeat. I rub my chin against his shirt. This is better. Sing to me, Daddy.
"I love you," he whispers. He's rubbing the back of my head. I can't help it: I burp. He laughs and now I'm happy.
I love you too, Daddy. Please sing.
"Two minutes."
Go away, Uncle Seth. No, wait, you sound weird too. Is everybody crying? What did I do? Why are you sending me away with Mommy? Don't you love us anymore?
"Where's Nikki?" Daddy's voice is breaking and I know he loves us. He really loves Mommy. He told me so. He even told me that he loves her so much he doesn't complain when she kicks him at night.
"Kitchen."
Oh, the warm room with the weird smells. Mommy's in there a lot. Can I have my song now, Daddy?
"I'll be there in a minute."
I don't know what a minute is but I don't think I'm going to like it.
"Look into my eyes – you will see / What you mean to me. / Search your heart, search your soul / And when you find me there you'll search no more." He sets me down on the big thing where he sleeps. He's wrapping me up in my blanket.
I get to go back to sleep. And Daddy is singing to me.
I love my life.
"Don't tell me it's not worth trying for. / You can't tell me it's not worth dying for. / You know it's true: / Everything I do, I do it for you."
Did you sing like this to Mommy? Is that why she loves you so much?
He lifts me up and I can see his face. He doesn't look happy. He's crying again. "Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for. / I can't help it, there's nothing I want more. / You know it's true: / Everything I do, I do it for you."
I'm back against his chest and, oh, I love him. I want him to hold me forever. Can you do that, Daddy? He's walking. I know I'm going to fall asleep soon. I'm so warm and comfy. Are you carrying me back to my little bed?
"You can't tell me it's not worth trying for. / I can't help it, there's nothing I want more…" He kisses my head. "Yeah I would fight for you. / I'd lie for you. / Walk the wire for you. / Yeah, I'd die for you…"
He's still walking. Back and forth. Like Mommy when I'm too upset to eat.
Daddy, please don't cry.
"You know it's true. / Everything I do, I do it for you…"
Where are you taking me? I can smell Mommy now. Is it time to eat?
Mommy's crying too. Where are Uncle Seth and Uncle Roman? And that new guy, Uncle Phil? I know they're here but I can't see them. I can't see anything but your chest, Daddy.
"Time to go." Mommy's really crying. It makes me want to cry too. They're squishing me.
They break and I feel softness. Mommy. But where's Daddy? Oh, there he is. I can see him looking at me over Mommy's shoulder. Don't cry, Daddy. I love you. Please don't cry, Mommy. Daddy loves us.
We're walking again. It smells like it does when Mommy holds me at the big hole in the wall. It's dark. I don't like the dark unless Mommy or Daddy are holding me.
Uncle Seth hugs Mommy. Why is everyone crying? He kisses my head and I squirm. His hair tickles. Don't cry, Uncle Seth.
Now Uncle Roman's hugging Mommy. Why is everyone crying, Uncle Roman? Are you crying, too? He kisses my head too. Don't cry, Uncle Roman.
Where are we going, Mommy? Who's that guy? I've seen him before. Once. I think. He doesn't look happy, either. What's this thing you're sitting in? It smells weird. There's Daddy again. Come on, Daddy. Sit with us. Uncle Phil is coming. Can't you come?
But no, he's kissing Mommy. Kissing me. Squishing me again. What's happening?
"I love you," he whispers.
I love you too, Daddy.
And he's gone. I can't see him anymore. I can see Mommy. I can smell Daddy on her.
Daddy?
Don't cry, Mommy. I want to cry but I have to be strong for you, don't I? Daddy told me to take care of you. I know I can't do anything more than love you. I love you, Mommy. I know you want Daddy.
I want Daddy too.
~fin~
Lyrics from "Everything I Do (I Do it For You)" by Bryan Adams.