Artemis Fowl and the Grey-Green Alien
Here we go a cross over this time not just AFs but this isnt me this is my brother, please read he is a much better author than me anyway.
Disclaimer:
Artemis: THIS MAN IS NOT MY BIOGRAPHER, HE IS A-
Me: Blah blah blah! I can do my own disclaimer thank you very much!
Artemis: Very well.
Me: I don't own AF nor do I own Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy.
Artemis: That is a very short disclaimer, I don't think it will qualify with standard regulations.
Me: Standard regulations? Do you think I care about D'Arviting standard regulations?
Artemis: Oh well, begin the story.
Artemis Fowl had been part of a few impossible things in the past few days before getting back to Fowl Manor. He had time-travelled, he had ridden on an extinct animal, he had saved an extinct animal from being made extinct, and to top it all off, he had just been fighting against two power-hungry evil pixies who were infact the same person. One of them had come from the past and the other had escaped from an unbreakable prison. After defeating the pixies, mind-wiping the past pixie, sending her back to the past and sending the present pixie to Howler's Peak, Artemis was ready to be back at home.
Butler turned the Bentley into the gravel driveway. Ahead of them was Fowl Manor.
"Butler, where are my parents right now?" Artemis asked while finishing his psychology article on his laptop.
Butler stopped the Bentley in front of the 16th century manor. "Juliet and Angeline are over at the spas and your father will be coming back from a business dealing any time now."
Artemis opened the door before Butler was able to do it for him. "I am capable of some physical things you know," he explained to the slightly surprised Butler.
The sun had sank behind Fowl Manor, making a dazzling effect. Butler gazed at the red-tinged hills, the electric lights beginning to glow over in Dublin and the crimson sky surrounding the manor. Artemis continued to the door. He stopped and turned, realising Butler was by the car in a daze. "Butler, you can't stay outside all night!" he called. "Besides, saving the world twice in the past week has made me quite hungry. Could you make something? Actually you could teach me how to make simple meals sometime."
Artemis took his laptop up to the study while Butler walked to the kitchen. When he opened the study door, he almost dropped his laptop.
Standing inside was a grey green creature with a flat head. Artemis examined the being for a moment. It was an alien. But even more surprising to Artemis, he knew exactly what the alien was there for. The alien turned to him.
"Artemis Fowl-"it began
Artemis frowned, "I know what you're here for. I have heard of you before, alien. I originally doubted your existence though my friends who know people have told me a few stories about an offensive alien who fits your description perfectly. These friends do not lie though I was not sure you were an alien until I received a photo from a trustworthy source showing an Ancient Egyptian wall-painting depicting you. I personally translated the heiroglyphics and I found an interesting sentence saying, 'Onuris, you are a jerk',"
The alien looked suspiciously at Artemis, "How do you know about me?"
Artemis put his laptop down on his desk, smirked then continued, "I suspect you are trying to insult everyone on this planet, but since you're an alien, you must be trying to insult every living being in the galaxy. And why? I guess you are bored. The wall-painting proves that you must either have a long life or you are possibly immortal, or you time travel, because you would not be able to insult that many people in a lifetime and if you are immortal you would have to get to people before they die. So you are immortal and you time-travel, am I correct?"
The alien looked slightly astounded, "You are quite correct. But there are not enough people to insult in this galaxy, the universe is much larger with many more living beings. I also go between dimensions."
Artemis looked bewildered for a moment, the universe? dimensions? But he couldn't allow the alien to see him look bewildered or Artemis would lose the upper hand in the conversation and the alien would insult him. So Artemis smirked again and continued to listen to the alien.
"I insult everyone in alphabetical order, and-" the alien stopped for a moment and then exclaimed, "Hey, you've been stalling! I came here for a reason you know!"
"I've been stallingfor a reason," Artemis said with his trademark vampire smirk, "as I have a large Eurasian bodyguard called Butler who wouldn't have any trouble disposing of you."
"Let's get to the point," the alien growled, "Artemis Fowl, you are a-"
He stopped. Artemis wasn't listening to him. Artemis had picked up his cellphone and was dialling a number. He put the phone to his ear and began to talk, "Excuse me Butler, I have an uninvited guest with me in the study who would like to depart this property the hard way."
The alien couldn't take it any longer when he heard loud footsteps from the kitchen and the sound of a gun loading. "I'm leaving, but I will be back!"
Artemis watched in surprise as the alien vanished into thin air, just as Butler burst into the room, his Sig Sauer drawn. "Artemis, are you okay? Where is the trespasser?"
Artemis grinned, "Let's just say he's gone for a while, but when he comes back..."
Butler finished the sentence, "You'll be waiting with a big gun and a smile."
"Parfait, Butler," Artemis said, "Have you finished dinner yet?" Butler nodded, and with that he left the room.
Artemis stood there for a moment thinking of the possiblility of kidnapping the alien, then he shook his head, no, my kidnapping days are over, he thought, but I have my exceptions...
Thanks for reading. Please review, no flamers please