Chapter One
"Wait!" She screamed. "Stop! Please!"
Through her blurred, mangled perception, she could make out the frame of a slight girl in a long, olive green coat, moving up the front stairs to her tenement. Knots of dark hair pushed from underneath her rainbow coloured toque, brushing against her thin neck, and twitching in the cool wind. She was confident, serene, slightly dreamy, as though her thoughts were somewhere else. She was real. With pleasures, and passions, and theories that would die with her. The tendons in her neck twitched, nearly unnoticeable to the naked eye. One shoulder creased backwards, and her neck slowly twisted, the arch of her ear came into view. The stretch of her cheekbone and the curve of a snubbed nose coloured themselves in against the dark night as her head turned to see who had screamed after her…
Lee blinked once, and she was gone.
-o-"History is that which has happened and that which goes on happening in time." Amadeus had a scratchy, soft voice. It rasped against Lee Tamagi's earlobes and made her feel supine, and weightless, as though her flesh would curl into deep grey fingers of smoke, and slowly twist themselves into nothingness. She closed her eyes, feeling the sick green glow of the subway lights press against the darkness. "But also it is the stratified record upon which we set our feet, the ground beneath us; and the deeper the roots of our being go down into the layers that lie below and beyond the confines of our ego, yet at the same time feed and condition it..." There was a slight pause, before he continued with the last line. "The heavier is our life with thought and the weightier is the soul of our flesh."Lee opened her eyes to see his long fingers gently close the book shut, his dark eyes raise from it's pages to the three face surrounding him. Ursula and Felix, sitting tiredly on the floor in front of them, were watching him with a glazed stare, and Lee had her head pressed against the window, tilted slightly to focus on him. He weighted the moments with anticipation, before breathing, "Thomas Mann, 1875 to 1955."
"Where do you dig up this shit?" Felix wanted to know.
Ursula leaned over and backhanded his thigh with a disapproving scoff, as he let loose a few high pitched giggles. Lee couldn't help the slight twitch in her lips that brought her face into a small grin. Amadeus caught the grin, and let the beginnings of a frown play in the set of his eyebrows.
"Hey, fuck you." He slurred, leaning back in his seat and shoving the palm sized book into the pocket of his ragged bomber jacket. Felix let his snickers die off as Lee nudged him with the toe of her sneakers, leaving a dark muddy stain against the paleness of his jeans.
"Grow up, Lix." She said, shaking her head, her throat tight with laughter.
-o-
"History is that which has happened and that which goes on happening in time." Skittery murmured.
Swifty looked up from his post at the window, his gaze wrenching from the dark September night to his friend, who was sprawled out on his bunk, one leg hanging over the side and the other propped up against the post. He had a small, tattered looking book in his hands, and was struggling to read it, his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows knotted together in frustration. "But also it is the strat…the strat…stratifeed record 'pon which we set our feet…the ground beneath us…and the deeper the roots of our being go down into the layers that lie below and bee-yond the…the conf…confines…confines of our ego, yet at the same time feed and con…conditee…conditi…condition it... The heavier is our life with thought and the weight-yer is the soul of our flesh."
"Whazat mean?" Swifty asked, his brows tensing slightly as he ran the garbled words over in his mind. Skittery stared at the page for a moment longer, before snapping the book shut in one hand and letting his arms collapse onto his lanky frame.
"Got me." He admitted. "But it sure sounds pretty, don't it?"
"Yeah…" Swifty agreed, turning back and staring out the window. It was the kind of night that should have had a full moon shining down on the city like an ashen spotlight, and fingers of dry leaves scraping eerily across the cobblestones. But, of course, there were no trees around the lodging house, and the moon was only a fragment of light in the sky, hardly bright enough to illuminate the building across the street. Swifty sighed, and lay his head against the window, letting the frosty glass chill the hot skin around his forehead. He was feeling flushed, and restless, he wanted to get out of the crumbling building and out, into the open night air.
"Fancy a walk?" He asked, barely moving his head from the window. Skittery, who had opened the book again and was now on his front, struggling along with the fine print, glanced up at the window.
"I been walking all day, Swifts." He replied.
"Just a quick one?"
"Keep dreamin'."
Swifty grabbed the worn scarf that was hanging by the window, pulled it around his neck, and left the room.
-o-
The reflections of the four of them in the window seemed to sway back and forth in subtle motion as the subway shot through the tunnels that curved and twisted under New York City. Lee found herself studying her green tinged counterpart as it leaned to the silent music. The circles under her slanted, almond eyes seemed more pronounced, and the shadows on her face looked darker, and exhausted, but it could always just be a trick of the light. It gave her a discretely strange feeling to realize that her reflection looked more like it was from another world, or time, as opposed to New York City, 2004, shooting from 42nd street towards her home on the Lower East Side.
Lee felt a strange, slow wave in her stomach as the subway shuddered to a rasping halt, an abrasive screech filling the car and grinding against her eardrums. It made her back teeth hurt. Her eyelids flickered slightly at the noise as she pulled herself to a standing position, painfully sensitive to the rush of feelings that surged into her legs and back. She had been sitting without changing her position for the entire trip, and she was contrite to find that her back was slightly sore and tired. Amadeus looked like he was feeling the same as he stretched, his fists nearly brushing the roof of the car. Lee glanced over and measured him with her eyes. She was nearly up to his chest now, which either meant that she was growing, or that he was shrinking.
Feeling slightly better, she helped Ursula up from her place on the floor, and straightened out her coat. As the spruce female voice began announcing the name of their station, they pushed off, momentarily caught up in the propulsion of the New York crowd and thrust into the dingy subway station, walls thick with graffiti and floors covered in greying refuse.
"God. Beauty, ain't it?" Amadeus remarked, wrinkling his nose as the stench of urine and trash hit him with full force. Lee felt a small lurch in her stomach at the smell.
"Home sweet home." She assented.
They jogged shortly up the stairs, eager to get away from the greasy, colourless station and up into the night air. It wasn't much of a change, the smells and permeating nature of the city was trapped on it's lower sidewalks. But when they raised their faces, the faint glimmers of early stars were visible underneath the clouds of smog, and the faint breeze coming in off the Hudson River was enough to get them inhaling deeply, trying to catch faint whiffs of salt on the air.
"C'mon." Amadeus said, as Felix and Ursula turned down Seventh Avenue and began walking towards their house. "I'll walk you home."
-o-
Swifty threw the scarf around his neck, tilting his body to the side in order to have it swing around the entire way as he flew down the stairs. The lobby of the building was empty, making it seem even more rusted and stark than usual. The wallpaper was peeling, revealing the crumbling brick underneath, and any small gadget that Kloppman picked up with spare cash may have worked years ago, but were most certainly out of order at the present. The cracked grandfather clock in the corner was a good five hours fast, but since no one was certain of how to set it, they simply let it run, admiring the majestic look of it in the dingy room. There were springs poking from in between tears in the dingy sofa, hidden around a corner, and almost every chair in the room was creaky and set on a tilt. Swifty wrinkled his nose, half with distaste and half with affection, and pushed out the heavy front doors into the street.
The icy weather cut through his thin clothing and made him gasp, clenching his teeth and screwing his eyes up into squints. The frost had come unusually early that year, much to his and his friends dislike. It only meant a longer, harder winter. Not to mention less people on the street, and more in lofty, horse drawn carriages, the kind you had to run after if someone was interested in a headline. His spirits slightly lower than before, he turned and pushed the ill-fitted door closed, hearing it scrape against the stoop beneath it, before setting off at a lively pace, trying to trick himself into enjoying the way his eyes burned in the icy wind.
He found that he could only really think when he was alone and outside. The buildings were close and thick, but the sky was endless, and there was room on all sides of the sidewalk for him to take up. Even in large crowds, he felt a certainty of person knowing that his feet were connected to the ground, and the ground was connected to the world, one of which he was part of. Feeling slightly cheered, he cut a quick dance step that he had seen a lady and her beau do on the corner of Broadway and West 40th. His legs were tired, but a relentless energy was brewing inside of him. He felt that something good was going to happen tonight.
-o-
"Is it really necessary to walk me to my front doorstep?" Lee asked in an amused voice, as Amadeus doggedly turned down Christopher Street with her.
"Hey." He said, shrugging. They passed by a street lamp, and his profile was illuminated for a moment, as though he was outlined in luminance. "It's late at night. I don't want you getting roughed up."
"Good thing I have my big strong philosopher to protect me." She said, smiling slightly. Amadeus snorted and punched her arm as a retort. "'Sides." She continued, motioning around the street. "I've lived here since I was a baby. I think I know my way around. I won't get lost or roughed up."
"You just trying to get rid of me now?"
"What if I am?"
The two of them grinned, and shoved their hands into their pockets as a cool wind suddenly spilled through the streets and cut through their jackets with trenchant ease. Lee shivered and let out a groan, mangled by her teeth chattering. She didn't expect it to get this cold this early in the year. School had barely started, and they were already packing away their shorts and skirts, vainly hoping that the weather would get better before November, allowing them one more day to skip classes and head down to the beach. But the wintry winds and rains only came harder and harder.
Amadeus caught the tail end of her moan and glanced over, before tentatively reaching out and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to his side and rubbing his gloved hand up and down her arm, trying to massage some heat back into her veins. Grateful for the gruff concern, she snuggled closer to his side, able to feel the hard bones of his ribs through his thin jacket, listening to the nebulous sound of his heartbeat. The heat from his body soaked through her jacket to her own skin, almost as though his ribs were on her bare arm. It was a nice feeling.
She meant to stay that way for only a few steps, but the heat and a recklessly daring feeling in her stomach made her stay where she was, soaking up as much of his warmth as she could. She felt his fingers twitch around her shoulder, and she reluctantly stepped away, swearing that she could feel the fingers tighten before he let go with forced haste.
"Thanks." She said quickly.
"'Welcome," He replied in a voice that was raspier than usual. The two of them walked in silence, listening to the dry scrape of the leaves as they drifted from the bared branches, hearing them crunch underfoot and crackle behind them. She felt as though everything in the world was right, the thin sliver of the moon through the trees silver and radiant in the nebulous blue of the night, the stars like crushed diamonds scattered in a gown of velvet. Lee smiled, even though her fingers felt numb inside her jacket pockets and she was beginning to miss some of Amadeus's warmth. It was really a beautiful night.
"Nice stars, huh?" Amadeus muttered, almost sounding embarrassed.
"I'll say." She replied. "I've never seen them this clear before."
They were silent, feeling the strange tension between them melt away into a low buzz in both their minds. Their breath misted into silvery clouds before them, and drifted away on the wind, slowly twisting themselves into nothing.
-o-
This was the time when Swifty liked it best. He turned onto Christopher street, reveling inwardly at the look of the golden lights burning inside the tenements, the lone carriage making it's way down the cobblestone streets, the distant sounds of the waters of the Hudson River making kissing noises against the docks. It was times like this that he could waltz his way down the street, pretending that one of the crooked, ashen buildings was his own, and that he had a family waiting inside for him with hot soup and a place to sleep. A place to sleep that wasn't a tortuous, flimsy bunk that he sometimes had to share with the other boys. He whistled softly under his breath as he walked. Despite the cold wind, he felt almost warm. And loved.
There was a strange tingling underline to the icy weather, a strange warm heat with every cold gust of wind that nearly knocked him senseless. A magic in the air. He almost laughed to himself as he strolled down the sidewalk, hands shoved deep into his pockets, chin burrowed slightly into the worn scarf wound tightly 'round his neck. Someone was playing piano in one of the buildings, and the tune seemed to pick him up and carry him down the street.
In a certain city where the girls are cute and pretty, they have a raggy jazzy jazz time tune
When you hear that syncopated Jazz created melody you could dance all morning night and noon
He hummed the tune and added in a few phrases that he remembered, phrases collected from the distant corners of his memory. His heels clicked against the cobblestone in time to the tune, and he traced out the steps of an old dance move in his head.
I can't get enough of it, please play it over again
I could dance forever to this refrain
To that 12th street, oh you 12th street rag...
He listened to the sounds of the carriage getting closer and felt like laughing for joy.
-o-
"Which of these fire traps is yours?" Amadeus asked, motioning to the old buildings with his chin. Lee rolled her eyes.
"They're not fire traps. They're just old," she protested. Her family had moved to Christopher street specifically because of the buildings, the tenements that looked as though they were right out of the twenties, one of the few streets in the city that you could turn onto and pretend you had just stepped back a few generations time. The buildings had been gutted and rewired, old pipes and mortar had been scraped away and replaced with genuine hardwood floors and tough, hard cement. But the outside was still as charming and crumbling as ever. Lee loved it.
Dancing down the street was the faint strains of music, but it was the type of music that was rarely heard in the city any more, the kind that was buried beneath the pounding basslines and scrape of the subways. It sounded like ragtime, and over the grind of the city, they could just barely make out the lyrics.
I can't get enough of it, please play it over again
I could dance forever to this refrain
To that 12th street, oh you 12th street rag...
"I know this song," Lee remarked, as the music was hitched up a notch. Amadeus smiled, and Lee tried to tap her way through what looked like an old fashioned dance move. The two of them nodded in time to the music as they moved, both celebrating the unexpected magic in their own, quiet ways.
Soloman in all his glory could have told another story were he but living here today...
With his thousand wives or more, a jazz band on some Egypt shore, he could dance the day and night away...
Lee sang along in a quiet voice, often hitting a sour note, and letting her voice bend and crack on the high ones. To her delight, Amadeus began to laugh, and then she began to laugh, and before either of them knew it, they couldn't stop.
-o-
Swifty let his eyes rest on the dark shape of the carriage as it came nearer and nearer, letting the darkness dissolve away to reveal the soft curves of the horses face and the dark, stained clothing of the driver, who was chewing on something and spitting onto the cement every once in a while. The carriage jerked and swayed from side to side on the rutted cobblestone, and the sound of a thousand glass clinks played in time to the music. Behind the man were crates and crates of empty milk bottles that people had left out on their stoops for him to collect.
And underneath the clinking of the milk bottles was a different sound. A gruffer, menacing sound.
Swifty could sense them before he saw them, really, a sharp tingling at the back of his neck and a sudden need to look away as the dark shapes and the red tips of cigarettes became apparent. There were three boys on the back of the carriage, hanging onto the beams and murmuring to one another in low, gruff voices. Swifty felt his heart pound at the root of his tongue, and casually turned his face away. It was at times like these that he felt conspicuous, and for the first time during his walk, he wished he hadn't left the lodging house.
The truth was that he knew what happened to boys who looked like him. Boys with slanted eyes and dark, thin hair. Boys with foreign sounding last names and thick, garbled accents. Praying that they hadn't caught a glimpse of his face, he pulled his scarf up over his chin more and dipped his hat low over his eyes. The last thing he needed was to face three boys on a quiet street where no one would come out to help him.
I will tell you how they dance, that tantalizing 12th street rag.
-o-
"You realize you're going to make me look real pathetic if you walk me right up to my stoop," Lee finally protested when their laughter had died down. The moon had slipped halfway behind a thin cloud, making Amadeus' face darker and muted, making the thin twist of his lips eve more mysterious than usual. He sniggered briefly, a grin flashing through his foggy breath.
"Make you look pathetic?" He repeated. "No one's watching, Lee."
Lee felt a tremor run up her spine at the way his voice seemed to grow dark at the edges on the last four words. They seemed to shimmer in the air, hanging in the air between them. Her breath caught in her throat. They turned and glanced at one another, and Lee quickly averted her eyes, but she could feel his own burning a pattern against her skin. She shook her head, shaking away the double meaning that had sprang to her mind through his words, shaking away that strange choking feeling at the sound of her name through his lips.
Amadeus inhaled, as though he was about to speak, but no words came. The music was louder, the scratchy sounding words echoing up and down the hollow street. Lee felt his fingers catch at her wrist, and she turned to look down. His hands were covered with dark gloves, but the fingers were cut out, and she could see his skin against her own.
She looked up at him, and felt that same burning feeling in the pit of her stomach.
Amadeus hesitantly raised his hand and touched her chin, drawing her face upwards. She was struck suddenly by his elaborated tallness, amazed at how small she felt. Her eyes dwelled on the thin curves of his lips, and before she could even speak, he had leaned down and, with an awkward moment of hesitation, pressed his mouth against hers. Her lips were cold and numb, and his felt like ice, but she could feel the pressure of his face against hers, and the tingling of his fingers on her flesh. She nearly jerked her head back with surprise, and felt herself trembling slightly with nerves and cold underneath his kiss. Vaguely, she wondered why heat hadn't enveloped the both of them, like it did in the romance novels that she and Ursula read in giggles. She was still cold, and her knees had seized up, making her legs shake uncontrollably.
The moment was over before she could even get a handle on it. He pulled back quickly, dropping his hand and letting it hover vaguely around her shoulderblades, before lowering it jerkily to his side. Lee opened her mouth to say something, but closed it immediately again, realizing that she must look as though she was gaping. Amadeus had just kissed her? The same Amadeus that read them philosophy on the subway and helped her write poetry on her bedroom walls?
"I'll...call you," he promised. His voice was dark and raspy, ragged around the edges, and a slight flush had risen in his cheeks. "Tonight. Tomorrow. After school. 'Kay?"
"School," Lee heard herself saying. "I have math, it's...stupid,"
"Yeah," he said, forcing a laugh. It sounded like he was choking. Lee couldn't help but look at him, the way his dark blue eyes burned through her own and caught her like a deer in the headlights. Before she could speak again, his fingers lingered briefly on her wrist and disappeared, were stuffed back into his pockets, his chin was lowered against his neck.
"See ya," he said, letting his eyes drill into hers once more before turning and moving away in those jerky, loping strides that she knew so well. She watched him go, barely realizing that he was.
"Yeah! See ya...later..." She finally yelled, watching the way he raised one hand in acknoweldgement, throwing the gesture over his shoulder.
She quickly turned away and ran towards her tenement. The music was growing stronger, so strong that it invaded her mind and made her ears pound raw.
I will tell you how they dance, that tantalizing 12th street rag.
-o-
Swifty felt his insides melt slightly at the sounds of the carriage growing fainter in the distance, the mumbles of the boys laughter slowly fading into the music and the milk bottles. He let out a sigh of relief, watching the way his breath spun itself out in smoky music in the cool night air. Once again, he had managed to let his guard down. He wasn't a naive boy, he had tasted this city's reputation well enough, every punch to the mouth and every cigarette and every bite of the tough, hard bitten bread every morning. But every time a faint strain of music caught him, or he saw a couple dancing in one of the fancy dance halls around the city, he allowed himself to breathe for once. Not as a street kid, but as a real person.
He shook his head and adjusted the scarf so his mouth was against the night air once more, pressed the brim of his hat up so he could see the stars. It was a lovely night. Crisp and clean, just as he liked it. But perhaps he was straying too far from his home. Sighing and shaking his head, he made to turn down the next alley and make his way back to the lodging house.
But just before he stepped into the darkness of the lane, he turned and cast one last, longing look along the street he had just walked down. Some windows were still glowing a burnished gold in the darkness, but many of them had been extinguished, empty eye sockets in dead buildings. The street was crooked and narrow, like a village in a fairy tale, and somewhere off in the distance the music was still playing, as though not even the night could put an end to the quiet joy it inspired. Swifty felt his lips twist up into a slight smile, before he ducked his head low and moved into the alley, setting his sights for home.
I will tell you how they dance, that tantalizing 12th street rag.
-o-
Lee felt her head pound, felt a strange sinking sensation in her stomach. Her mind was reeling, her senses seemed to be rocketing back and forth in her head. She shook her head and shut her eyes tight before she stepped up onto the first step, her mouth tingling and raw from the feeling of someone else's lips against it. She turned and glanced down the street, but Amadeus was already almost gone, just a fuzzy, dark shape in the distance, now and then illuminated by a golden pool of light from a street lamp.
She smiled lightly, and felt a strange squirming sensation inside her stomach underneath the sinking. Now that the moment was over, she wished that it would come again, that she could relive it countless times, each time reveling in that sudden explosion of feeling. She turned back to the door and dug into her pocket for the key, when all of a sudden, she staggered backwards.
A blinding pain had struck itself across her forehead, slicing a gash on the inside of her skull and making her brain pound in agony. Her breath caught in her throat for the second time that night, and she let out a pained choke as she raised her fingers to her forehead and gently touched the skin. She had no time to consider what it was before it came again, making her grab vaguely at the railing in an effort to stay on her feet and not be thrown back on the preserved, cobblestone streets.
She shut her eyes tight and pressed the heel of her hand hard against her forehead, biting the inside of her lip so hard she could taste blood. The tingling in her mouth seemed to spread all across her body, and the sinking in her stomach began to move upwards to her lungs, her heart, her ribcage, her shoulders. She almost felt as though she was being sucked downwards, and wondered blearily if she was going to faint.
"Shit..." she cursed under her breath. She tried to open her eyes, wondering if she could call after Amadeus, but every time she so much as flickered her eyelids, the pain would come again in waves, crashing over her limp body as an ocean, making her bite the inside of her lip harder and harder and harder...she tried to open her mouth to call out, but any semblance of her voice was choked at the root of her tongue and left to rot on her lips.
A strange roaring filled her ears, not unlike the roaring of the city, blending somehow with the music that was growing even louder. She began to panic, her heart pounding harshly at the inside of her ribs like some kind of wild animal. She felt as though the ground was opening below her feet, and she was being sucked downwards, sinking through mud, through water, through some kind of strange, invisible force that had no name.
"What's happening to me?" She tried to scream. "What's going on?" If the words left her lips, she was unaware. No lights flickered on, no one responded, no one seemed to notice that the world was melting and grinding around her, that the moon was wavering in the sky and the street lamps were slowly fading and fading and fading while the music was playing louder and louder, pulsing in her as strong as a heartbeat...
All at once, there was a great snapping noise, and Lee felt her entire body convulse, her knees jerking up against her chest and her head curling down against them, arms loosely twisting up to her kneecaps. She was thrown, somehow, sucked downwards and hurtled through the mud, the water, the force. The surprised scream that tore up her throat was silenced in the dark night, didn't touch the renovated old tenements, didn't shatter the stillness of the neighbourhood. The stoop was empty, the moon still and serene, the streetlights as bright and golden as ever.
Lee was no longer standing before her doorway. The stoop was empty. And all around, the song seemed to echo in and out of the alleyways, the words reverberating in the air before getting lost in the cracks in the pavement, the gutters in the street.
Over you comes stealing, such a funny feeling, 'til you feel your senses reeling
Tantalizing hypnotizing mesmerizing strain
I can't get enough of it please play it over again,
I could dance forever to this refrain
To that 12th street, oh you 12th street rag!
-o-
Pity Lee's sudden love affair, fans of the original work!
Yes, this is another story revival. I'm screwed for new ideas, but the old ones will work just fine, thanks very much. I hope you enjoy.