Chapter 1 Inu Yasha and the dictionary

These are my adventures of what I think would happen if Inu Yasha encountered certain objects that he might not have seen or heard of before or objects that he might not have used in feudal Japan if these objects do exist. Please review and if you see a problem give me a review to let me know.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inu Yasha. If I did Kagome would cease to exist and Inu Yasha would be happily living with Kikyo. But that didn't happen, did it? So that proves to you that I don't own Inu Yasha!

Inu Yasha was very pissed. Kagome (that stupid bitch) had demanded he come back with her to the real Japan. If it had been Kikyo he wouldn't have given a second thought.

Anyways, while being bored out of his mind he picked up a huge book called the "dictionary" and looked inside the big book. It had lots of pictures. 'Hmm...' he thought. 'Maybe if I give this book to Kaede she'll be a little nicer.'

But what he really wanted to do was go find Miroku and kick his butt. He was the only one he aloud to see Kagome naked and (ahem....) he had. Inu Yasha did not realize it but he was blushing a deep red. He was also locked deep within the tombs of his mind never to return or....

Kagome meanwhile was sitting at her desk with a pudding cup, (chocolate if you're wondering,) while doing or maybe you could consider it trying to do her math homework. Inu Yasha was sitting cross-legged behind her on her bed. If anyone looked at him they could tell he was deep in la-la land with the dictionary sprawled on his lap.

Kagome sighed and asked Inu Yasha if he wanted some pudding. When he did not respond, Kagome spun around on her desk chair with wheels and said "Inu Yasha! I asked do you want some pudding and why are you blushing?" When Inu Yasha did not respond Kagome walked over and screamed in his ear. "INU YASHA! GET OUT OF LA-LA LAND NOW!"

Inu, (the poor guy,) finally snapped out of his thoughts, which had turned into a daydream about him fucking Kikyo. Now Inu's brain had soaked up the word pudding even though he did not know what it meant. So the poor inu, (inu- it is a Japanese word for dog. If the word inu is not capitalized like this: inu, then I am talking about him as a dog but if it's capitalized like this: Inu, I am talking about the character Inu Yasha,) jumped a foot in the ear and screamed "I DID NOT TAKE THE PUDDING, MOMMY!"

Kagome slapped Inu Yasha and yelled, "SIT BOY!" Poor Inu crashed to the ground. "What did you do that for?" he said.

"Sota is the only one who knows you exist!" she hissed. "How do I explain to my mom there's a half dog/half man in my room that has a large sword, claws, dog ears, a super sniffing power and white hair!" "Then why the fuck did you demand I accompany you back to this rat's ass of a world? All the action is back down that well!" "Inu Yasha! Where did you learn those words?" "Ooooh!" Inu Yasha squealed. "Those words are that bad?"

He then began singing a really bad version of the candy man by: aqua.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck! You are a fucking bitch! Oh oh oh oh I really want to ditch! (you) oh oh oh oh I want Kikyo back now. Oh oh oh oh you can become inu chow! Oh oh oh oh Kikyo's been my lover now! Oh oh oh oh you have the beauty of a fucking cow! Oh oh oh oh the god's are damned! Oh oh oh oh I want Kikyo's hand! Oh oh oh oh we can live a happy life! Oh oh oh oh without Kagome's strife!"

Kagome had screamed, "sit boy," at least 50 times by now. Inu Yasha though, had some how managed to part with the necklace of which Kagome had power over him, flipped it into her hand, and was running toward the window to take a flying leap out of it with the dictionary in his hand.

Kagome quickly closed the distance between them and grabbed Inu Yasha by the collar of his clothes. "You are not keeping that thing after it taught you those, those words!" she spat. "But it's going to be a gift for Kaede!" he whined.

"This is the last thing Kaede needs from you!" Kagome said. She ripped the dictionary from his hands and flung him on her bed. For once, Inu Yasha decided not to object. He watched helplessly as Kagome flipped a match out of a desk drawer, lit it and touched the dictionary with it.

He then watched as she flung it out the window. "Watch," Kagome said, and he decided not to object. He walked over to the window and watched the dictionary burn until it was just a pile of ashes. Then he jumped out the window.

Kagome decided not to stop him. 'Stupid inu,' she thought and went back to her homework.

When Inu Yasha got back to his real era he noticed that the stupid collar Kaede had placed on him was back on his chest.

'Stupid old bat,' he thought. 'I was so close to not having this retched thing!'
To Be Continued...